I went on a date with a guy. During our dates, I found that he seemed somewhat opinionated and when I told him a fact that he didn't have knowledge of, I felt that his response showed that what I said didn't make sense. I felt that, I'm not responsible for his lack of knowledge on certain topics, if you know what I mean?
But anyway, I was still going to give him a chance if he asked for a second date, which he did mention. However, on the same day I saw his post on social media doing something that is a deal breaker to me.
I want to know how to reject him kindly without lying and using the lame excuse such as "I'm too busy to date" because then why did I talk to him or go on a date with him in the first place?
And I don't know if "I'm not interested in moving forward" is good since it's not primarily due to lack of interest, but I don't know how people would feel about "I noticed one of my deal breakers in you" and I don't want him to misunderstand it as the deal breaker is part of him. It's a behavior that he does, it's not him.
Anyway, how should I word my rejection so it's nice, concise and delivers the message I want? Thank you.
But anyway, I was still going to give him a chance if he asked for a second date, which he did mention. However, on the same day I saw his post on social media doing something that is a deal breaker to me.
I want to know how to reject him kindly without lying and using the lame excuse such as "I'm too busy to date" because then why did I talk to him or go on a date with him in the first place?
And I don't know if "I'm not interested in moving forward" is good since it's not primarily due to lack of interest, but I don't know how people would feel about "I noticed one of my deal breakers in you" and I don't want him to misunderstand it as the deal breaker is part of him. It's a behavior that he does, it's not him.
Anyway, how should I word my rejection so it's nice, concise and delivers the message I want? Thank you.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I don't think you need to get into deal breakers with him. Worst case scenario he will offer to change his behaviour if you give him another chance. Best case scenario he will be insecure about it next time he dates anyone, even though it might not be a deal breaker for them.
So just go with something non-committal like "things just aren't working out", "there wasn't any chemistry" or "I like you as a friend." Just the usual bullshit, if you know what I mean.
Yeah I was not inclined to mentioning the deal breaker, since I feel that it would be rude. Everyone's lifestyle and habits are different.
But how would he have the opportunity to change if I don't mention the deal breaker to him?
I also didn't like how opinionated he was during our dates, because I could see that as potentially frequent arguments in a relationship (I'm not saying that we would get that far. What I mean is that if a guy has a trait that will affect a relationship, there's no need to consider him, although I was going to not judge too soon and gave him another chance, until I saw his Instagram story. That's a lifestyle and habit and I'm not going to ask someone to change their lifestyle for me. I couldn't even get a guy to modify his lifestyle in the past. One guy would have friends over and party till 3 AM. We talked extensively and about very personal topics. I didn't want to throw all that away so I asked if he would be okay with having friends over till 11 PM or something but he identified all that partying as his identity 🤷🏻♀️
Be honest. Let him know you saw the post he posted and how that particular kind of behaviour is something that is a deal breaker for you.
There really isn’t any nice way to reject someone. rejection hurts no matter what.
I don't think it's necessary to point out a behavior. Well, it's not a behavior. I should've said habit. It's a lifestyle and habit.
I think that would be kind of rude to point that out, since everyone has different lifestyle, and I don't think that piece of information is necessary for rejection. I want to say something more general, just don't know how to word it.
Just be as nice as you possibly can.