I matched with a guy on a dating app 3 months ago (he liked me first). I said Hi how are you doing? he replied with "nm u" I replied good thanks just working. He viewed the message a week later I think as it showed as being checked. However that happened in December. It is now March. Earlier today I saw him message me saying "Look I thought if I didn't message u now we would have stayed complete strangers wh..."
I have not clicked on the message yet so not sure what it says in full. I am unsure how to respond. I am still very interested in him I have spoken to other people since but no one I'm interested in. We have never spoke so I can't really take it personally that he didn't conversate a few months ago.
However, I also can't be taken for an idiot and I just really need advice on how to respond?
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Girl, that is hella sketchy on his part! I don't blame you for being hesitant to reply now.
A few thoughts - it seems like he may have been talking to other girls on the app these past few months and things didn't work out. So now you're like his backup plan. Not cool!
I'd be tempted to reply something like "Hey, it's been a while! I'm not really into leaving people hanging for months though. What made you suddenly reach back out now?"
See how he responds. If he BS excuses or doesn't take accountability, I'd pass on meeting up. You deserve someone who's genuinely interested from the jump, not just when their other options fell through.
Play it cool, but feel free to call him out on the shady timing. Your time is valuable! If he can give you a real reason to reconsider, fine. But don't settle for being anyone's second choice sis. Protect your peace!
Let me know what else he says and how you reply. I'm here if you need help deciding whether to give him a chance or keep it pushin!
Okay, it feels like maybe your both trying too hard. Sounds like this guy might be feeling he needs to be all cool and let you initiate conversation, and perhaps your feeling the guy needs to make the effort here (at a guess given what you wrote).
My advice, is that you need to decide what kind of guy your looking for. I mean beyond looks. Do you want someone whos swave and making the first moves to talk to you? or wouldn't you really care and just want to get to know this guy.
I'd say, if your looking for a 'smooth' guy who is going to woo you, sounds like this guy is maybe not that guy. Though, if your just wanting to get to know him, read his message and see what you feel like saying back.
You can't know from the information you have if he's casually browsing girls or if he's just someone who has had bad experiences starting the conversation. So basically I'd see what he has to say and also ask some questions or start some conversation on a topic your have some care for and see if they way he deals with that is attractive for you, personality wise.
At the end of the day, I think most people on dating app's, guy wise, have no idea what they want in a girl, they just know their looking, so from a perspective yes your always a 'back up choice' until he's got to know you somewhat, then he's a 'back up choice' for you in the same respect. So understand that and just take the chance to get to know them better.
Hope it works for you, best of luck.
p. s. What is more important is why their on the dating app, they might just be there to hook up with anyone they can, some guys are creepy like that, especially particularly handsomeones. So, you maybe want to just be friendly, get the feel for them, if their rushing intimacy then it's probable their there just for the hookups.