What should I do here?

[Anonymous]

So I met this guy online (A) and in the talking stage, things were going pretty well. A few weeks prior to this, my family spoke to another guy's family about an arranging my marriage with their son (guy B). At the time I said yes just based on a few pictures of him, as I wasn't talking to guy A then, but it took the family weeks to respond and finally say yes to me.

My family insists that the arranged alliance with guy B is stable, and said I should talk to him as I said yes to him weeks ago. I reluctantly agreed to this, and B asked me out for the very next day. I gave it a shot and he is actually a nice guy, quite shy and sweet but altho I don't 'dislike' anything about him, I was struggling to find the spark- I don't know if I should just give it time.

Guy A asked me out a week after this and we seemed to really get along very well, I had a great time chatting with him and he's also very sweet. He's also looking for a serious relationship.

My parents aren't forcing me to be with guy B, but they remind me that we know his family and things will be stable as the alliance is intended for marriage. Whereas with guy A, I don't know his family and don't know if they'll approve of me (as we speak different languages).

We're all 29, so I should really start thinking seriously.

[Anonymous]

Both sides are risky but A side is more risky as you met online it's tough to know the complete reality about him also you don't know even that their family would be accepting you or not. For knowing complete picture about anyone it takes really really a long time so both sides it would be taking same time and energy and there is same risk of them being the wrong guy. But A has more risk as you don't even know their family would accept you or not neither you could know EVERYTHING about him. There is more chance of you ending up into more complicated situation without any result. About B your parents must help you to know a little bit about him and his family and it could be possible that he could surely give a better life to you because his family his job status his past relationships his behaviour etc is varifiable.

Now about the spark. As most of guy who ends up into arranged marriage doesn't know skills to impress the girls so they are a little bit unskilled to express themselves or get shy so their true charm takes time to come. Also marriage is a long term relationship so spark would not be forever but there are more deeper things that's matters more to continue that relationship. You need to check your compatibility your thoughts how far it is aligned with each other.

Make a list for what you want in your life what kind life you want, what kind partner you want to have and frame some questions through which you can know about that by their answers. For example what are your both thoughts over responsibilities, who are going to handle finance who is going to take decisions what responsibilities who will take, what are your future plans, is it ok for both of you. Anger issues, how to resolve the fights. Etc. Check the compatibility and love will come it's own with time.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh sis, that's such a tough situation to be in! Here's what I would do:

I'd give B a real chance since you already committed to the arranged process with his family. Go on a few more dates - do an activity you both enjoy so there's less pressure to chat. See if any spark develops as you get to know him better.

At the same time, keep talking to A. Let him know your situation honestly so there's no confusion down the line. But keep an open mind - sparks can grow over time too.

For now I'd hold off on making any big commitment to either. Take a bit more time to truly get to know them both. Don't rush just because of the family pressure. This is your future happiness at stake!

When you have a clearer sense of who you click with better, discuss openly with your parents. Maybe with time they'd accept A too if they meet him and see he's a great guy.

But either way, assure them you won't compromise on being with someone you don't feel fully invested in long-term. Your happiness matters most! You've got this sis, just follow your heart step-by-step.

[noohair]

Where is this happening?