Am I ruining my proposal?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, been with my boyfriend for three years and have been quite upfront with my desire to get engaged. Just when I think he’s making excuses (work, being tired, living in the moment, what have you), he said he’s talking to people and won’t tell me who. I agreed not to live together until marriage for religious reasons. Says spring 2025 he’ll contribute financially to my lease. Sounds like a strong hint that he’s working on it. Don’t want to drive him away and ruin his moment but we’ve been dating a long time and doesn’t seem fair. The other night he claims I’m not forcing him. Please advise, I can take it.

[strateguy632]

first smart decision not "letting" him live together, if did, would be a reason for him to keep waiting, not to get married.

still you waited long enough, like ebenezer scrooge story, you need ultimatum, below, after a year or now, you shouldn't wait.

ask him if he plans to get engaged.

answers like: live in moment mean he enjoys the way things are, not planning. then say "i=you won't wait," if he delays, again, then dont wait.

dump n look for someone who does make plans.

[JoePro_]

I would say take him at his word (trust that you're not forcing him and that he cares enough to want to be around you, stay with you, and making plans for the future with you), but also set boundaries for yourself. If he seems like he's failing to uphold his promises of the future, you need to address those failures with him directly, and start making plans for what you'll do if they're not addressed.

[laly520]

u need to ask him about it if he really plans to get married n if yes then when
don't let him treat u as if u were a second option