My boyfriend likes talking and sex chatting with other girls more than me?

i have been with him from past 5 years and we had a good relationship until we shifted in together..coz I never used to ask him questions and I was not possessive.even if at times I was jealous he handled me with love and at that point I used to feel more for him..we used to joke if I showed him my jealously but its been 2 years now I see him more attracted toward other girls..i feel he is going away.he plans out things with me now too but I don't feel the same passion left in our relationship.may be you people might feel that I am insane and hence I am trying to work out my relationship.i have saw his sex chats and flirty messages to other girls and I have not uttered him a single word...few weeks ago on my birthday he gifted me something very precious,close to my heart..he cares for me and I am confused that if he loves me so much why he want other girls,may be I lack somewhere but he should tell me..about sex chat today for the first time he texted me something that initiated sex chat and I feel that text was not for me and he later realized that's me and continued doing that so that I don't get suspicious of him..i am giving him lot of space,i don't call him,i don't text him much Because in past I did so much that he was pissed off with me but now too after 6 months after trying hard to impress him doesn't call me and text me as he used to do earlier..i don't know what should I do because whenever I meet him and see him I feel very angry Because I remember his text and calls to girl which is not normal.i really want to work on me and I want him Because I know he loves me and its just frustrated part of him that he is flirting and sex chatting with other girls,so that he can feel good.please help and please don't suggest me to can I satisfy him?i don't want to confront him about reading his texts because he will feel more distrusted and will make situation worse.please help.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You know what's the deal. He's a serial cheater. He may be great to you and if you're alright the fact that he will cheat (and probably move past just sexting) then go for it otherwise you know what's up...

    Dump him. There is a difference between being possesive and being naive. It is awesome that you allow him to be him (most guys hate possesive girls) but you have to make sure he respects you 100% and if he is sexting girls while he's with you that is a big BIG no no.

    I'm sure it's seems like the worst case scenario considering how long you've been with him and you live together, but a break up sounds necessary. If you trust that you can lay down the law (no sexting, flirting, cheating) and he will respect you then try it but it sounds like this is a relationship that will one day leave you extremely hurt or crushed.

    Good luck! It sounds like, since you are on here, you've started down the path towards the break up decision (the right one)


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What Guys Said 3

  • I think the truth is... Your relationship is not what you think.

    Yes he gave you a very precious gift, and that is lovely. But giving a gift is easy. It is what you do all those other times that is what counts. In other words, it is how he treats you on a daily basis that really tells you how he feels.

    If you know he is sexting other girls, that seems a big problem to me. It is a big red flag.

    If I were in your shoes, I would confront him and tell him what you want. It does not have to be an ugly confrontation, but a truthful one. You have to be prepared that he may very well say that he wants to move on. That will hurt but at least you know. Where you are today is that you have no idea and you are hurting and anxious. One cannot move forward when one does not know all the facts... which is where you are today.

    I am sorry this has happened to you. I wish you well...

    Joyeux Noël

  • This poses a lot of danger, my dear friend.

    Sexting always lead to the most despicable act of unfaithfulness. Talk it out with him.

    Let him know that you can't tolerate it any longer. If keeps doing it despite your talks, drop him off and move on. You'll only experience more pain ahead of your relationship, and don't be surprised if you caught him red-handed on the "act".

    Please, let it stop now. Tomorrow can't wait. Do it now.

    This can be the turning point of your relationship towards a much more fulfilling one.

  • We all have a fantasy life, to vayring extents. it sounds like you have a good relationship--don't be too jealous of his fantasy life with unknown people online, that don't lead to any actual meetings.

    We all deserve an area of our lives where even our sig. others don't intrude!


What Girls Said 1

  • I have been in a relationship for over 5 years also and my boyfriend at the time did these types of things also. His actions of "sex chats", however, did progress into worse situations. I tell you this because I have somewhat of an idea where you're coming from.

    You say you don't want to break up, okay. You need to talk with him about the things you know he does. I know you feel hurt and angry, but try not to do it in a confrontational or accusatory manner. Be calm and level headed. Some may disagree with me, but how can problems be fixed without communicating? There is always the chance he doesn't want to be with you anymore, and if you two talk make sure he tells you if he really does or not. Some people, not just men, want to have their cake and eat it too, that's just a simple truth. If he claims to want to be with you then you should stand your ground. Make sure he knows if it happens again then you're gone. If that's how you feel. Sometimes people don't know what they have's gone, or almost gone. The bottom line is that I think you should have a very long, calm, mature talk with him.You deserve to know what's going on. You can't be expected to have all that resentment towards him, and act like nothing is wrong- he's not the only one that counts in your relationship. Good luck.