Am I right to feel belittled by my manager in this situation?

[Anonymous]

My manager is another woman, who is about 4-5 years older than me. She got promoted into the role relatively recently.

I am a professional, and I am kind but can be firm when necessary. Yet, a conflict came up at work and my boss said to me, "I'm worried that you're too sweet to handle this, so I will take care of it." I found this to be really infantilizing/belittling because I've been working there for a long time and have frequently and successfully handled conflicts and yet she always talks to me like I'm too fragile to handle things. Every other superior in the place has always had confidence in me, so I don't know why she always has to talk down to me like this. I'm getting really sick of it. I've tried to prove that I'm strong enough to handle things, but she just can't seem to accept that I'm capable. I'm starting to think she's threatened by me surpassing her or seeming more capable than her.

Do you think I'm being belittled, or am I being too sensitive?

Plus, if she thinks I'm too "sweet" to handle my job, then why am I there? She's even started calling me "Sweet ____ (insert my name here)" as a nickname...

It's belittling

You're being too sensitive

[QuadDamage]

You need to set boundaries, tell her this is fucking up your mojo and flow in yourself. You need her to trust you or this reflection will shine back to you.

You feel clustered about her intentions and you wonder if she's sincere or just typical "womanly" jealous of something. Either pressured and you're her release, she thinks you're better looking, tries to control your position.

You never know what people sacrifice to get where they are, outwards we all tend to seem happy. Maybe she is not?

And for the record, just because I'm blunt with people it does not mean people appreciate that kind of rawness. Talking with someone between 20-30 years old I always have to think twice at work, there is an obvious sensitivity lingering there.

[MrOracle]

Yes, it's almost certain that it was meant to belittle. Many (idiots) who get promoted will want to diminish the people under them to prove that they have power (often because of their own insecurities), rather than be a real leader and rally the support of those who report to them. That's terrible for leadership, but it's all too common.

[Anonymous]

She may feel she is a hot shot and is purposely belittling you because she knows you can handle it. Ignore her. You have a good job and if you get in this one's face, she will find a reason before the new year to replace you. I know her type. That is why I always loved living with men as roomies or working with them. Women can be catty.

[Opinion Owner]

thanks.

[Red-Blaze]

Its always hard to say from here, as I dont know her
I would maybe try to get a privare talk to her, asking nicely to let you deal with this things as you think you can do it, and its part of your job
She mayy be belittleing or she may just be kind of protictive, so or so she should know not to go too far

[DryGermanGuy]

Don't let her use silly names for you. Correct her in a calm tone in front of others and repeat that till she stops. That will be your first visible step getting out of her treatment.

[BJP21]

Its belittling if you're a paid professional explain to her its not your first day on the job. You do have a right to speak up.

[Sevenpointfive]

i wouldn't put up with that