I was accepted to a good university but I never wanted to go. The university makes me feel anxious and bad and I don't think it is the right place for me. I don't have any academic goals, but my family is very insistent on this, what should I do? My family bores me a lot.
Your username says you love fashion so I recommend you browsing all the list (s) of fashion careers. Maybe take the 16 personalities test and look at recommended careers.
Search careers for your personality type (myer briggs). Just helpful info to sort through, does not have to be definitive.
If you want to do any kind of modeling fashion marketing with your physical aesthetics that’s fine, but have some kind of knowledge in fashion first maybe. Like Designer knowledge. This way you have a foundation and fall back, so after if you do modeling you can use the fashion career to fund your modeling or fall on if the modeling seems to be too risky, harsh, rude etc.
With modeling you’ll need a seriously good diet. Diet will affect skin texture shape and tone. All of that. Hair quality. Etc. so you’ll need to afford it probably on a more RELIABLE salary that isn’t painful for you- such as a designer/ decorative career.
You can look for short term college terms for that foundational career, or look into other alternative programs like internships/apprenticeships and such. Either way be happy about what you will learn and know it’s cause for YOU.
Then you can pursue modeling in full time, afford it, experiment on that journey, and if it goes well you can either do modeling part time of full time completely.
I won’t limit your potential but say at some point you do need to retire but need more finance, you can then return to your knowledgeable career of fashion/decor.
And still live well. If you make lots of income and see no need for it after retiring, then congrats!
There’s so many careers we just don’t hear about so find something you really love. LITERALLY
start with that. Maybe not love but what you spend a lot of time with. And around.
I loved movies a lot as a kid and I loved being creative. More than intellectual. So I held a dvd case in my hand and remembered the posters in subways systems or theaters for movies and I had a big A HA moment.
someone got PAID to design those, and surely with some research I found it indeed was a career and behold another option for me to seriously and fulfilling-ly consider.
Another thing you can reflect on and search is who you are to your family and friends. What do you like to do with them most. For me it was always STRONGLY protecting them. I thought of plans in case of dog attacks… shooting events later in life.. fires.. all kinds of natural disasters and I realized-
A HA 😂 behold another career I could pursue. Anything in search and rescue/ emergency responder/ or security. Because I LOVE to protect.
And I LOVE movies.
So what you love may seem simple but find careers revolving that thing. If it’s baking even if eating food- there’s jobs called food critics. Maybe you could be that. Or film critic.
If you’re lucky to have had a sport or extracurricular activity you did and enjoyed then consider that. If you enjoyed swimming with friends consider life guard or other pool jobs like adding chlorine- pool cleaners.
Another thing- if you like cleaning! See what things you can clean. If you enjoy vacuuming to no end you could be a carpet cleaner or sanitation worker that specializes in that.
THERE ARE SO many options.
If you love travel look for jobs around travel.
If you’re more social and love to make your friends laugh LOTERALLY EVERY SINGLE TIME- you could have comedy in you..
Take the test. See what you spend most of your time doing. Who you are to your family and friends (will indicate who you’ll want to be to the world and society).
Find something you can be excited about and just go freaking study it.
People say oh no rush can do college any time. True. BUT this is the only time you can do it and it be EASY. Go to college or take online courses for what you like and love and love being to people and DO THAT you can take a gap year once you’ve bagged a money making career and soon when parents give you the look or if they get older and need the space and money to retire themselves you’ll be ready to live comfortably and happily doing what you love.
Its EASY. It’s your slate. It’s your canvas. It’s your book. Your story. Your life. Why wait on that? Find the passion and the other stuff will roll off like water rolling off a duck’s back.
Of course no rush. But if you want to take advantage of the time do so. It’s not your youth that is in question- it’s your parents’ youth. They won’t be young foreverrrr. So use this time to focus on your life. No need to hit pause or hesitate. You’re here you’re alive and born. It’s your story. Enjoy what you make of it.
It really doesn’t have to be perfect either.
The career doesn’t have to win you a Nobel peace prize or make you look smart. Doesn’t have to win you an Oscar or billion followers on TikTok. It just has to be something you love.
If you love animals if you love being near sporting events- stadiums. Zoos. Fun places.
Do something you think will be fun. 100% where if there is a small roadblock or delay you won’t be overwhelmed or deterred. It’s what you find fun. Do that. You’ll feel welcomed by it, excited, ready for it, maybe even restless to just get started.
So if you’re not ready yet. Take this opportunity to really research the one you’ll want.
You can change things later also. Find something fun that makes money. That you can do while you study for or search for the DREAM job lol.
That’s the tactical approach.
I know I lacked punctuation I’m just too lazy 😂
If you made it to the end congrats and thanks. And literally no sweat. You have no sweat to give over this.
Have fun :] (gap year sounds good too). No rush. 👍 it shouldn’t be a vacation it should be the extra time for you to read up on things and breathe a little more. 👍
I don't know how it is in States, but in Ireland it's normal and common to take a year or two out to work or travel before going to university. It's a huge time and money commitment and I wouldn't do it if I wasn't ready for it. Not to mention, people do a lot of stupid things at that age and if you're already feeling anxious then you can be sure to be super uncomfortable once you get there as there is peer pressure to conform to their stupidity. Can't you apply for it next year or defer a year? Ask your parents if they'd be ok with you working for a year first and then applying again once you're more mature and better prepared for it. Whether to go to college or not doesn't need to be a "yes" or "no" matter, it could be "not now".
I mean hated school too with a passion, but it's my life if I didn't go I would be like my friend who worked as a carpenter and broke his back working fast and heavy and now he's stuck working a low-wage with terrible back pain and can't make the money he used to as a carpenter. My grandpa worked in trades too broke hurt his leg really bad and had to deal toxic chemicals so eventually his lungs went back too and he couldn't work and is always in pain laying in bed all day can barely move around
I went to college, so I have a nice cyber security director job making around $400 or $350k and I won't end with chronic back pain working a trades job. I didn't fall for the hype for working in the trade because I know a lot of people who regret and thought the money was worth until their bodies failed them and they were in pain all the time. They try to hype up trades to get naive guys to start working in it, and they understand what it's like once the reality sets that one cares about after you get hurt.
As a man I didn't want to be like the average so I went to college and now I have no debt and a nice salary living comfortably with pain or herniated disk.
But you're a girl, so you don't need a career you can choose to just start family when you're old enough to and just skip college. Men don't have as much flexibility as women, so I think you're fine if you don't go to college, college fucking sucks tbh I hate school.
I only went for internships and research opportunities. If all you do in college is go to class and get good grades and that's it you will be working at McDonalds after college, you have go outside the class and do research and internships and find working while you're going because once you're out of the school all those internships and resources are gone for good.
Oh man, that's super tricky. Going to uni when you don't wanna can seriously suck. But I get your family wants you to go. Maybe have another chat with them and really try to explain how you're feeling - that it makes you anxious and not what's right for you. Your mental health and happiness has to come first.
Could there be a compromise? Maybe look at some other options you'd be interested in, like community college for a bit or trade school, and show them it's still education. That way you're not just saying no without a plan. Your family wants you to grow, so having alternatives to suggest may help.
If they won't budge, then you might need to stand your ground too. Sometimes folks just won't get it till you do your own thing for a bit. As long as you have some kind of plan B for work or a job, maybe you try giving the uni a semester and see if you adjust. But don't force it if it's really messing with your head.
This is your life- you gotta live it in a way that makes YOU happy. Hopefully they'll come around once they see that. But stick to your truth - you know what's best for you. It'll work out, even if they stress for a bit. Stay strong in what feels right!
It's crucial to prioritize your well-being. Open communication with your family about your feelings and concerns can help. Consider exploring different paths that align with your interests, such as vocational training or other educational opportunities. It might be beneficial to take a gap year to explore your passions further or seek career counseling to help clarify your goals. Remember, your journey is about finding what fulfills you and brings you happiness.
Opinion
34Opinion
Don’t go. I got accepted to a few back-up schools before I got into the school I wanted. If your family is up your ass about it, talk about a gap year so you can figure out the direction you want to go in before they shell out for your tuition. It can help streamline the process.
Maybe talk them in to letting you go to a community college first? It might be a good way for you to get your feet wet in college and it would save money for your parents.
You'll have to sit down and talk to your family about this. But you'll have to have a plan for what you're going to do if you don't go. Do you have a plan?
Then it's time to get one. Do. you have a job in mind? Some kind of training program?
If you have NO plans, your parents will likely be far more disappointed than your not going to college.
You need to choose something that's going to help you transition into adulthood and adult responsibilities. College is one way. Work is another. Training for particular jobs is another.
But say you have no academic goals and you don't reveal any interests for your future. I think you need career counseling of some kind. Your parents would be supportive of your finding some path to be on.
What college DOES do for you, is it gives to time to explore general subjects that you're good at. It seems you must've been a decent student, or you wouldn't have gotten into a good university.
What I find most interesting is your comment about college making you feel "anxious and bad." Of course you don't want to go somewhere that makes you nervous and unpleasant. But why IS this? Career counseling could help you.
Talk to your parents about your feelings and ideas of what you'd like to do if college is not your path.
Okay,- you are at an important junction in your life. Your parents want what's best for you but you are not sure if college is the right choice for you. A lot of people are not ready for college when they get out of high school. Kids today are taking "Gap Years" where they get internships or work for a charity or other types of alternate experiences.
Maybe attend classes at your local Community College., even if you only go part time. It is a low cost alternative and the courses you take can be transferrable.
I'd tell parents to save their college funds... and be very thankful if they have some for you.
you then go get a job or do something else where you make your way until you get your head in right place. start a business, etc..
you could join military as well. It's time to be an adult... and make adult decisions. not easy since you aren't an adult yet...
I don't like the tone of what you wrote... you need to have some serious conversations with someone to sort this out and not avoid it... we talk a lot with our teen about these issues.
Too many are pushed to go to college. Unless you have a clear goal, a career is your priority and you need a degree to work in your field (accounting, medicine, science, law, engineering are some good examples) then there is no reason to go to college. Girls get ran through and turn into tramps, students get into student loan debt that will take years to pay off, you'll get indoctrinated into Marxist, socialist ideas and you'll probably not have a high paying job waiting for you when you are done.
Why are you thinking you need to put off life and spend 4-5 years at university?
To be honest you sound very immature.
That isn't unusual for your age so it's not a criticism.
If your parents are encouraging you to go I think you should consider their advice very carefully. They've lived longer than you have and they have more experience with things than you have. So their advice could turn out to be valuable.
Sometimes you have to do things that you don't really want to do to avoid regretting your decisions later.
This could be one of those things.
Don't dismiss your parents' advice. They probably care about you more than anyone else in the world. And someday they will be gone and you will have to make every decision yourself.
Who is paying for it? If you have a full ride scholarship, you should just go to see what you might want to do.
If you are footing the bill, probably start with a community college, take your time to see what interests you - a lot of them have career classes to see what you might enjoy and have an aptitude for - and then transfer to a four year. Far less expensive and when you get your B. A. or B. S. it won't have an asterisk that says "First two years at community college."
If you don't know what else you want to do, you might as well go to college. Taking a few classes might help you figure out what you want to do.
If the thought of spending all that time studying and going to classes really upsets you, maybe you could be a part-time student with a part-time job somewhere.
Or, possibly you could switch over to community college. They have a lot of trade schools there, for people who want to become chefs of electricians or auto mechanics or whatever. A lot of those people make really really good money.
If your parents are paying for your college, that could be a huge help to you later in life. I've never heard of a situation where having a college degree was a disadvantage. I'm not saying you have to get a college degree, but you should at least be open to the possibility.
Do an apprenticeship that appears interesting to you, or an internship at first if you're unsure. Do. Not. Let. Other. People. Tell. You. What. To. Chose. As. Your fuggin lifelong career. This is only your decision. Nobody else should have a say in it, unless you ask for advice or they feel like you're making a seriously terrible decision (for good reasons).
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Don't go. University is pretty stressful and takes a lot of self discipline to do all the things you're supposed to do so if you don't even want to do it then it'll be a waste of money and also you'll feel shitty the whole time you're there so just don't go. If you ever feel like it you can still do education later.
If you were to let this opportunity slip, what plans do you have for your life as an alternative?, if you were to go in a different direction, I'd say don't let this opportunity slip if you aren't planning and preparing yourself and gained the motivation for a different path.
Considering you just took away a spot from someone who was actually serious about it, you should have some decency to at least try. If it's not for you, drop out. Especially considering how hard it is to get into a 4 year without going to community first
do what you want. i don't think you should let your family decide for you. they will have to accept that, god forbid, their child doesn't want to go to college right away. you have time... whether you want to go or not, is up to you.
Is it public or private? How much would it cost? How selective is it?
If it's a REALLY good school, you may want to at least have the option. In which case you could see if you can defer and take a gap year. What would you LIKE to do? What skills would you like to build? What work would you like to do?
Nothing wrong with not going to college, find a skilled trade that you might be interested in.
Most will pay for your schooling in exchange for working there for x amount of time.
No college debt, you make great money from day 1.
If you aren't interested, don't go. That would be a waste of time and money. You may change your mind later.
Just because you were accepted doesn’t mean you have to go there. I didn’t go to the college my dad wanted me to go to that I was accepted into. 🤷🏻♂️
Become a bricklayer... I love laying a brick house.
College is a huge big opportunity. Don't waste it. Get into college it is worth it.
Wait until you are 18, then find a man who will take care of you and make you a housewife. Avoid young guys with money, they just want to smash.
Why did you apply somewhere you don't want to attend?
You won't miss much. Degrees are a scam. There are McDonalds wage slaves with bachelor or masters degrees, that nobody else is hiring.
Don't go. It's your life. Your family won't bear your struggle and regret.
It's job and responsibly to follow your own passion and dream and that clearly isn't school for you.
Is it anxiety? Parents expectations or yours? Whats the alternative if you don't go?
Well what do you want to do in life? Figure it out and go for it.
Sounds like you need to step out of your comfort zone. Anxiety is something you created for yourself. It's your choice to keep feeding it.
Don't go unless you personally believe it's the right path for you.
Do not go, if you do not want to be there it will be a waste of time and money
I know but my family doesn't understand
Have you told them
Go. It won’t get better doing nothing. Eventually it feel much worse
Get Psychological Treatment, Get Well And Go To College Because You Have To
GET AN EDUCATION!!! YOU'LL MAJORLY REGRET IT LATER IN LIFE. BEING BROKE AF NOT FUN.
Maybe it's just nerves?
What if you prepare mentally and just go?
You have to go for your goals.
I know right but My family puts a lot of pressure
what goals do you have?
What is your plan for a career?
You should start escorting
Don’t go, then apply again when you’re ready
What do u want to do instead
I have another dreams
Don't go
don't go
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