Should I tell my parents that I'm not virgin anymore?

[Emily_Frazer]

i've been having sex with my boyfriend (who is also 15) for months now, always using protection. I promised my mother that I would tell her whenever i started having sex but I obviously didn't and I feel really bad for that. Should I tell her that I am not virgin anymore? don't know if she will tell dad but I really fear his reaction. what should i do?

no

yes

[abc3643]

I think telling your mother is OK but also tell her that you fear how your father would react.

If I was your dad, I might at first be a little ballistic in my heart thinking "Who is the little fuck who plucked my daughter's cherry?", but, very quickly, I'd calm down recognizing that this is the way of the world and the way it has been for 10000s of generations.

So, I would then sit down and talk to you calmly and ask you a bit about the boy but also if you had any questions about boys. I'd then tell you to just be careful and that, if you have any questions, you can talk to your mother or me because we realize that you are just growing up, this is a part of life, we love you, and just want you to be happy, healthy, and safe.

[Emily_Frazer]

That would be the perfect outcome in my opinion.

[abc3643]

Yet God saw fit not to give me kids or, in particular, the daughter I always wanted.

[abc3643]

Honey, if you do talk to your father about this and he goes a bit ballistic, show him this G@G question and my answer, OK?

[Emily_Frazer]

Ok! I can understand why he would be upset knowing that I already had a penis in my vagina but I think he can be very open-minded sometimes

[abc3643]

Good!! That's very good honey!

[Robsinsf53]

Only if you need their help in obtaining birth control, or other related matters. But I also recommend honesty and I can see it if this is some thing that's bothering you. I'd get mom off to the side when dads at work and say "mom, I've got something to tell you but, promise me you won't tell dad". She will agree. Dont tell dad. Tell dad if and when you have problems with boys.

[Floralskateboard]

It's completely okay not to tell your parents, however, if you feel the need to, or need birth control then I would tell your mom. There's nothing wrong with having sex and not telling your parents. So don't stress! :-)

[Emily_Frazer]

I have access to birth control and they don't know it yet. I know there's nothing wrong with having sex, that's why I love it.

[Floralskateboard]

Well then I think because you're comfortable and safe then there's no need to tell them. Have fun!

[Emily_Frazer]

Thank you. I always have so much fun with it.

[Jaye234]

Sit your mom down and tell her you need to be put on birth control.
Condoms can break. At 15 you don't need a baby. Stop having sex until you are on bc. And continue to use condoms too.

[Jaye234]

Yes, your Dad is going to be upset and yes pissed, you're his baby but honesty goes a long way.

[Emily_Frazer]

I already am on birth control, the only one that knows about it is my gyno, requested him to not tell my parents about it.

[Jaye234]

Oh ok, good. Just as long as you're on bc, is still use condoms.
As for telling your mom, I still think you should. I know that she's going to be upset. But I'm a mom so I'd want to know.
The 15 year me wouldn't tell her though! Lol

[Emily_Frazer]

you also lost your virginity at 15?

[Jaye234]

Yea I lost mine at 15.

[bostockbn]

Need to tell your parents... my mom knows about my boyfriend and I having sex... She was very supportive and she bought us a box of condoms.

[Emily_Frazer]

They didn't get angry with you?

[bostockbn]

I live with my mom and step dad. (Who is basically my dad raised me over 3/4 of my life.. ) they wasn't mad. They just said to be careful and to use protection. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for almost 3 months but we don't do it all the time like most couples. We do it every so often because it's just the risk there are at hand. The condom could break by accident and I end up with a kid. So we just don't it every few weeks. They wasn't mad because I was with my boyfriend a year and 2 months before we decided to have sex.

[Emily_Frazer]

I am also more than one year with my boyfriend, we started having sex in May. Pretty sure we do it almost every week.

[bostockbn]

You need to talk to your mom about.. this is how I told my mom. It was a couple days before prom or big event for my boyfriend and I, I asked my mom to go with me to get my nails done and that's when I told her about it was in the car on the way to the nail salon.

[Emily_Frazer]

I'm not so worried about her, it's my dad the one that I worry about. She will probably tell him and I don't know how he will react.

[Emily150]

I am literally in the same position. I don't know if I should tell her or not.

[Emily_Frazer]

i can't give you any advice because we are at the same situation, but you can pm me if you want to talk about it.

[111girl]

I honestly think you should tell your parents just in case. Like what if you got pregnant and your parents thought u got raped? If your parents are ok with you guys having sex, I suggest you guys to just tell them truthfully. If you need more advice about this because you're worried, don't hesitate to message me :)

[Krodaxun]

It depends how close you and your mother are. You aren't required to tell her, but if you have a close relationship then I would.

[Emily_Frazer]

we are very close to each other.

[Krodaxun]

I would tell her. The longer you wait, the more strain you'll create when you do tell her.

[AaronKrieger]

Well since you promised, yes. If you hadn't then I'd say wait until she'd ask.

[Emily_Frazer]

I guess you're right, promises are promises.

[AaronKrieger]

Yeah, plus if you tell her it can have her trust you more.

[truthbeknown]

I really don't think its any of their business. If you and your mom are close and not telling her is like a betrayal, then that is sorta bad on your part. Like you are breaking up the bond between you and mom by keeping secrets.

[lia_98]

If its affecting you this badly I'd say just go for it and tell mom. If you really trust her... if not then keep it in but secrets have a way of coming out... one way or another.

[Mojos]

If you feel like you want to tell her. With the relationship I have with my mother, I will not tell her. If we had more of a "best friend like" relationship, I might.

[JustCallMeLeon]

Yes you should. Be sure to act normal and confident and mention you are always using protection. That way you earn her trust.

[MayBlythe]

I had sex for the first time when I was 14 but it was to a girl and I did tell my mom and she didn't care since it was with someone my age

[Emily_Frazer]

Yes, but it's not like you can get pregnant having sex with another girl. I am not lesbian.

[MayBlythe]

If you used protection like you said you did then there is no reason for your mom to be concerned also I'm not lesbian I'm bi

[pizzainbed]

Usually I'd say it's none of their business and it's up to you, but you did promise

[None18am]

Tell her for safety reasons and because of the promise you made.

[apple24]

Just tell them so they know you need to visit a doctor.

[Emily_Frazer]

I already am on birth control, my gyno prescribed it.

[arsalanpeerzada]

Yes, but indirectly

[apple24]

Then your fine.

[Samantha2448]

They suspect you are having sex if you go to the gyno

[Anonymous]

In the long run it will enhance your relationship with both of your parents if you stop hiding. You will also feel a lifting of burden by being honest.

[RealDarkeyes]

Wait, you're 15 and had sex?
*does not compute*
You should probably tell you're mom before it gets to be a long time

[MarthaRose]

Nice Plague Doctor profile pic.

[RealDarkeyes]

@MarthaRose why thank you, they are so cool looking right?

[MarthaRose]

For real, I even own a mask. lol

[RealDarkeyes]

@MarthaRose i wish i had one, thats literally the only thing i want to cosplay

[MarthaRose]

Some are cheap and some are expensive.

[Anonymous]

All I can say is that you should tell them whenever you feel ready to.

[Revolver_Ocelot]

who cares about virginity, you?

[Emily_Frazer]

I don't, that's why I already lost it. It's not about my virginity but about my relationship with my parents.

[Revolver_Ocelot]

who cares about parents, you? look... your parents lost it too, they shouldn't care one bit honestly (they probably will tho), but really, there's 0 point in telling them. what will happen if u tell them u lost it? only hassle. you've already had sex, nobody can change that

[Samantha2448]

They could put her on birth control and make sure they always have condoms

[Revolver_Ocelot]

true, but they probably won't

[Brokenxdoll]

A promise is a promise

[Arabian911]

A promise is a trust binding word...

[zoee0l]

very smart to tell them

[Emily_Frazer]

I know but it's not easy.

[Samantha2448]

I just told my mom that i had sex and she thought i was joking so i think parents won't hate you if you tell them

[DefinitelySane]

They don't need to know.

[Mexicoman101]

It isn't their fuckin business?

[Emily_Frazer]

I know, but we were always very close to each other and I feel like I should tell them, still worried about their reaction though

[Mexicoman101]

Then Don't.

[des_sh0]

I think it's better to tell them later

[Emily_Frazer]

When exactly?

[des_sh0]

Maybe stop having sex and when u get 16 or 17

[des_sh0]

That way they think ur mature enough too... right?

[des_sh0]

Stop having sex for a while*
Just in case so that nothing happens u know

[Emily_Frazer]

I don't think I can stop having sex so easily.

[des_sh0]

Ur a sophomore right?

[Emily_Frazer]

yup.

[des_sh0]

I'm a sophomore too but I don't think about sex at all... at least for now... i used to jerk off but I stopped... i don't see why u can't stop having sex for a while? I mean we're both just 15 that's too early to loose virginity... thats what I'm saying

[Emily_Frazer]

I mean, I can stop having sex if I really want but when I'm with my boyfriend it just happens so naturally, we can't contain ourselves

[des_sh0]

I don't know what to say...

[des_sh0]

U mean u have sex every time u see ur boyfriend?

[pudgen]

Better you should wait until you are pregnant.

[Emily_Frazer]

not going to happen anytime soon.

[pudgen]

Don't tell then, it will effect you in some other way. They have inner feeling that you are out of their hands

[Anonymous]

You should tell your dad first.

[Emily_Frazer]

why is that?

[Opinion Owner]

He will find out eventually anyways. And whether he gets upset or not it will feel better for him in the long run if you told him so he feels like he can trust you and you aren't trying to hide stuff from him.

[Opinion Owner]

Then try to spend the rest of the day with him either watching movies or something else even if he got mad at first.

[goaded]

Disagree! Mother first, because you're sure of her reaction, and she knows your father better than you do; she can give you advice whether to tell him or not, or tell him herself when you're safely out of range. They'll both still love you. Telling one is probably telling both, anyway.

[LeoMan1]

At your age, it's better if you don't

[bhmotorbike09]

Too young to be sleeping with someone

[Anonymous]

Tell them