Do you believe that spanking and hitting your child is a good form of discipline? (Page 2)
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Many times do parents punish when they are frustrated, actually when they are at their frustration pike, the worst time to punish since many times isn't it that bad as we thought since it has provoked bad feelings.
You also have the funny thing that a person becomes more fucked up if you only uses mental in the wrong way (that is extremely easy to do and comon) than geting a as whopping have scientists figured out with research.
The main thing is that the child must understand why they get punished at all times no matter how you do it otherwise is the risk very high they will do the same thing again and also risk of fucking that individual up for life ( even high risk of that they will do the same with their children).
Let's start with the guy, he deserved that whooping for sure. I'm glad she wasn't like the usual and ground him or something. Now I was whooped but it was over stupid things, that if my mother just told me why it was wrong I would have understood. She was abusive and it made me not want to whoop mines if I have any. I see a lot of people that unnecessarily hit their kids and others especially suburban areas that don't and let their children talk to them however they want. Some need it and some dont
No, I don't agree at all. If the mother still had to rely on belting her 13-14 year-old son, then something has been going wrong while the child was growing up.
I still wonder how does it get to that point of still needing to spank a teen?
I don't think it's good discipline, but (at least for guys) it's important to understand how to control our own strength at a young age or it gets unmanageable pretty fast. Play fighting/rough housing is very valuable to young boys and should be encouraged to a degree. You could make the argument that that kind of fighting is violence and is therefore abuse, but there's an important distinction that needs to be made there. Confusing the two is a bad idea. I know that's not what OP asked about but it's what came to mind as I was typing.
I don't think that its child abuse... Some kids need a whooping but it depends on what its for. And different kids need different things. Some kids are very active and some are very talkative and its up to the parent to understand how the child learns the best. If a toddler is playing around with a knife, i think they need to be popped bc that could kill them and they need to know that thats not something they should be doing. But a parent shouldn't even have a knife laying around with a baby in the house.
Tbh I dont think its child abuse but i think it can become child abuse if it goes too far and if its for unnecessary reasons
I don't think it is a good form of discipline
I don't think it is quite as bad as it is often made out to be but it is never good and constitutes a serious failure in parenting in that your kid's behaviour got to a point where this was your only option
It is considered child abuse in many places nowadays I think it may be overstating it a bit but the problem with this sort of thing and the reason it has become illegal is that some parents it is nkt just a smack on the bottom it becomes serious physical abuse and you cannot really legislate a matter of degree in this sort of thing so it becomes outlawed completely and I guess that is better than the alternative
The specific punishment is going to need to change to fit the offense, but the bottom line is that there have to be repercussions for blatant misbehavior, and it doesn't have to be physical. In fact, most kids nowadays would be a lot more receptive to having their phones and computers taken from them for a time.
Not until a certain point. But you can't have a reasonable debate with children, they don't have that notion. And at some point, if talking doesn't work, you have to go further. It should be avoided if possible, but there is some times you can't.
Look at kids today. No respect for anything, in my countries you have kids as young as 14 who have more than 30 arrests and they're still free. Some are fighting violently, attacking and robbing people, one even threatened a teacher last week with a gun to have a good mark.
What do you want to do to a kid like that? Talk to him? He knows very well that what he does is wrong, but still do it.
its about the personality of the kid, and the way of hitting, and the goal of hitting.
some kids no matter how you talk to him he won't listen, but when you hit him he will remumber it; also the hit must not leave marks or injuries or break bones, just signals to the brain.
finally don't hit always, just in hard situation like kid doing dangerous things that may hurt himself and that after talk to him many times, so that little pain will be save in his mind to prevent him from doing dangerous things.
At 13, if a child is acting that way, it's most likely cause he was spoiled and never told 'no' when he was younger. My dad never hit me or my siblings and we grew up fine. I don't think physical discipline is the right approach, especially if the parent is lashing out in anger, there are so many other non-violent ways of discipline.
Floggings are necessary to correct the behaviour of children, especially small children.
In my experience, there is not much wrong with most children that cannot be fixed by a flogging.
Re the boy who stole the BMW: I would throw him into a child prison for a while.
Being arse raped and bashed daily may teach him some manners.
Sociopaths have to be treated as what they are, regardless of their age.
Luckily you don't have children
And then you're astonished your society becomes more violent.
@jacquesvol
I have three children, whom I raised.
All three were flogged, as required.
After the two boys became teenagers, they sparred with me if/when they fucked up.
The female was. . . well. . . female. Regardless of what I taught her, she still went through the bad boy phase. Women are hard wired to self destruct when they are young.
Not always. Sometimes too much hitting ends up with them being more rebellious, more hardened and spiralling out of control.
I was hit with belts and cooking utensils and ofc slippers. I won't be using those methods to discipline, I do think spanking is okay though.
I was spanked as a kid and honestly, I know for a fact that if I wasn't, I'd be worse. It is good discipline just don't go too far. Don't bruise the kid and never go above 10 spanks. My sibling wouldn't get spanks because they'd cry so much and that'd be enough :/
Now when you say hit I think of slapping and that is definitely a no. That is more of abuse to me. The only thing that should be done in my opinion is spanks, time outs and taking toys away. Oh and say no.
As a young child I went through that with my dad and at the time i weighed 50 lbs this man weighs almost 300 lbs so he was already intimidating to me but he would spank us for crying and that sorta messed me up I'm 122 lbs now and I'm 5'5 he's still intimidating but he told us if he lost us in universal that he would hit us and yes it is child abuse to hit your child
Its not child abuse if its done within reason. I got spanked as a kid for stealing $1 from my mom and I never stole again. lol Where I'm from is very common and no one , even people how have been spanked sees it as abuse. In fact we joke about the good old days of getting spanked and the items we got spanked with.
Everything these days is abuse. You don't even have to touch the child and people will claim abuse. What are you supposed to do let them do whatever they want? After a while they'll keep doing whatever the hell they want untill they face a stranger that will teach them a lesson. They'll eventually see it's all talk and you won't even do anything about it. That strategy won't work forever. Parents these days let their kids do whatever the hell they want. I mean look at musical. ly kids.
There is plenty of ways to discipline a kid and have boundaries that doesn’t include taking the easy way and spanking them.
Every other way of discipline is labeled as abuse. Parents who don't even spank their kids a day in their life are criticized with their form of discipline. Now parents rarely do anything at all and let their kids do whatever they want. 😂
I must say I don’t find that to be true. Discipline is for me just about guiding ones children, setting an example, reinforcing positive behaviors, setting boundaries, teaching about emotions and talking with your kids about things.
Oh that's good are you also going to teach them about how wrong it is to eat animals? That will set an even better example for them.
Are you vegan or a vegetarian? :-) I am not.
Healthier for kids and actually teaches them love and compassion.
So basically telling kids abuse and cruelty is wrong unless it benefits you?
It's not ok for humans but for animals is fine? They have families too. They feel pain as well. Teaching your kids real morals and values. 🤔
There's literally no need to really eat animals at all, but everyone just takes the easy route and keeps eating them.
Okay so teach your kids that. But just because you eat meat it doesn’t make it more right to hit your kids. If you think eating meat is evil then I still think it is better to do one bad thing than to do a lot. I just think hitting and spanking children is wrong and research shows the same. And so the meat thing can be for another discussion.
Where did I say it's fine to hit a child just because you're a meat eater?
To talk against evil and act like you're a good person when your ok with raising your kids off of slaughter and twisted morals. Teaching them it's fine as long as it's not a human. One bad thing?
That one bad thing actually has a huge effect on everyone and the planet.
It's ok a few animals were taken away from their families, abused, and raped. That's not right either, but you're fine with paying for it.
Taking your logic about animals. If it happened to a human you'd care right?
It's just one bad thing?
Your kids as well it effects.
Their health and everything.
Just saying it is two separate topics. :)
I never even said any of the things you say I am saying and I don’t pretend to be “good” or “bad” this is real life. I think it is awesome if you are vegan and want to give your kids the same values. But that still does not have anything to do with beating them or not.
So basically your saying all the crap humans have put animals through can't compare to what horrors a human can go through? An animal being abused is nothing compared to a human being going through abuse. They feel pain just like us. They have families and feelings like humans. You talked about teaching your children right from wrong. About positive behavior and emotions.
When a human gets hurt it's the end of the world why isn't it the same for animals?
I never said that. I am just saying it is another discussion. Right now, this discussion is about spanking children.
Spanking isn't child abuse. It can be when done wrong or to excess, but more often than not it isn't. My cousin used a switch on me. when I misbehaved. Afterwards, I learned my lesson. My parents choice was to do nothing really so I learned to keep bad habits because the worse I would get is grounding.
It does not teach them anything... If anything, it makes them scared of you or come to resent you if you abuse them. Sadism could eventually outcome of that child later in the future and narcissism could also be a result. Abuse is very detrimental to mental health.
I was spanked and I turned out fine. Americans are just wimps tbh.
I even read the news where a teacher got fired because teachers are apparently not allowed to put such a low grade to their students because “it will damage their self esteem”.
Honestly I stopped taking Americans seriously a while ago
I think it works in extremes. If you're too hard on your child they're either gonna end up being in depression forever or they'll rebel and that fear of getting hit will disappear as they get used to it, maybe eventually they'll even retaliate. Point is, if you keeping pushing someone in a bad direction, it'll never end well. A balance is necessary. Discipline will come with knowledge of consequences that affects the bigger picture and physical harm is far from it.