Is it wrong that a friend cancelled prior made plans the day of, due to a hangover?

[Anonymous]

Us three girls planned a whole day getaway for the today. It would take an hour and a half to get there so it was well planned out. We had this all planned and made sure everyone knew what was going on for over 2 weeks. And suddenly she decided to get drunk at a party the night before. She wanted to go to the party on thirsday and it was on Friday. Its now Saturday and now she's to hungover to go anywhere.

Me and my other friend are pissed. We go to college in a small town with absolutely NOTHING to do! Why do think we were planning this? She wanted to go too and saved money as well like the rest of us. She has the car so thats obviously why we needed her too. We were all gonna have fun together and she could've thought: "oh, I just don't have to drink tonight." BUT NO!

Sorry for venting so much but me and my friend are so mad at her for making this terrible decision that now affects the two of us.

Updates

+1 y

We got over being mad after... hours of honing, and just wanted to make sure she was ok in the end. Our friendship is ok and we just won't plan a trip with her next time. She isn't reliable as a driver.

[ohkitty]

You and your friend are pissed off because your girlfriend who likes to drink has no self control.. She pissed herself off im sure for ruining a weekend away.
It affected everyone.. Now what?
I've heard of another example of bridesmaids going away for the weekend and some just cancel last minute for bachleorette party.. Imagine? Could your friend step up and take responsibility?
An apology?
Anger is the tip of the iceberg.. Meaning everything below water level is emotions of hurt sad etc. Your friend really hurrnyou and your friends feelings.. And its ok to be angry and totally understandable.
If your all younger than cut her some slack because these mistakes is all part of growing up and realizing how ones actions affect other people.
If your all a bit older like 30 then you need to understand that your friend may be that friend who drinks and may always drink and fuck up plans.
My first ever meal i served to my inlaws everyone was hungover and 2 hours late for breakfast. Can you imagine?
No apology. Nothing. Their excuse? They were all hungover. Lets say alcholics.
didn't they know we planned this a. m brunch that was supposed to be so amazing?
No girl.. Even 50 and 60 year olds get smashed and dont even call to say they will be late.. Because their alcholics and dont realize how their drinking affects people.
Huggs. Hope you still got to go away

[Asker]

Yeah she never did apologize. But I'm over it.

[Asker]

I didn't want to lose a friend. Me and my friend were just really pissed that she made bad decision after we told her not to. I'm just glad she's ok.

[jillybeanns]

Wow, I’d be pretty upset too. She definitely has some growing up to do. Side note, next time that happens just tell her (or anyone) to take Benadryl. It cures hangovers like magic.

[Asker]

SERIOUSLY? Thank you so much! I don't drink but I know some people who would seriously like to know this information!

[jillybeanns]

Yes it seriously does!

[Prof_Don]

If she is the one with the vehicle and thus is the means for the trip... hell yeah y’all have the right to be mad!

The fact that she decided to get THAT drunk on the night before this trip... is really inconsiderate.

Hangovers happen to all of us. I went to UC Santa Barbara, which has a very heavy party reputation, so I’ve had plenty of hangovers!

Very rarely did I have a hangover so bad that I completely bailed on an entire day’s plans. She need to get some Gatorade, some spicy food and some Ibuprofen... and push through the day! Even if she doesn’t drive much if at all, her completely bailing is all bad.

[jillybeanns]

Not to take away from your comment, but a simple dose of Benadryl cures all hangovers like magic haha

[Prof_Don]

It’s been a long time since I had a hangover but I’ll keep that in mind 👌🏾

[jillybeanns]

Thank me later hehe

[looneymalooney]

No need to be pissed, it happens. I had a miscommunication with a close friend. It was confusing to say the least, but we talked and all is fine.
So getting revengeful in any way or doing something to get back to her is the least constructive option.
Tell her you have nothing else to do and you need some relaxation time and given this was planned for 2 weeks, you want to do it.
Also mention you will gladly take her next time she is ready to go.

Depends if you and the other girl can hang out together or you need this hangover friend.

[looneymalooney]

question for you:
If the two other friends of yours, would fight and decide to not talk, would you feel compelled to drop one of the friends if neither asks you to stop talking with the other?

[Asker]

I'm not mad at her anymore. If anything, my other friend was more pissed than I was. And I posted this when I was mad at full charge so I needed somewhere to vent and this was all I had besides my friend who was already angryXD. Were friends and I never wanted to lose her as a friend, so I'm glad me and my friend decided to not push it any further and just made sure she had what she needed t get better.

We just got really mad because we've been doing a lot of studying and she had a job and we all wanted a break. But its ok.

[Asker]

And I would never drop a friend unless they were toxic. I was just angry cause that never happened to me before. The only friend I have ever dropped is one who WAS toxic and I found out from my outside friends that she was actually bullying me.

[Ianto]

That seems very wrong on the surface.
I do think you should consider other aspects though as there may be something else going on. It is her car, and you were expecting her to drive for 3 hours.
Might she feel taken advantage of?
Was it clear that you would pay her for fuel?
Might she feel (as you imply) that you only invited her because she had a car?

None of the above justifies letting you down after agreeing to the trip, but it may explain why she engineered the excuse of a hangover.

[Shamalien]

Hangovers can be pretty fking bad... but I hate it when people do that as well. If the plans were explicitly set in stone prior to the getting drunk, then you should not have gotten drunk. If you are getting drunk when the plans are made and then you have a hangover, that's a different story

[TahoeHiker]

Vent away, vent away. Ahh college. Wrong? Of course it was wrong, in so many ways. But t was wrong to get to that point or even near that point, in the first place. Letting your friends down, and being unreliable isn't a good habit to have. Hopefully she realizes her mistakes, after seeing how disappointed and frustrated ( no anger please, you're in college) her loyal and forgiving friends are.

[DiscomfortZone]

Your friend ditched you, as is her right. She decided that getting drunk like a pathetic idiot is more important than your plans together, or your feelings. And as long as she's the one with the car - she gets to keep doing it. You understand? If you don't want to be dependent on people who WILL ALWAYS let you down - then make sure you can be self-sufficient. And if you can't, and don't have a car - you have nobody to blame. Her ride, her choice, your problem.

[noxius]

If it was planned for a while then i definetly think that is a douche move. If you got something planned then either cancel for a good reason in advance or dont be an asshole and do something that impairs the plans you had with others

[noxius]

@Anoniemus I never had a hangover before so I don't know tbh. It's respectless still if you drink the night before knowing there's a chance that she could get a hangover. She could drink in moderation and not more than she can handle.

[noxius]

@Anoniemus I'm not saying that she can't do what she wants? I'm only saying that if SHE had agreed to plans beforehand and it was all organized and setup for herself and her friends, she could've gone through with it and not been disrespectful. It's my opinion, it's not me saying that she can't do whatever she wants, she most certainly can and she is her own being. However I dont approve of what she did in this situation.

[noxius]

@Anoniemus I may never have had a hangover personally, but that just sounds really silly. If you don't want to get a hangover there are most certainly ways you can achieve that without fault.

And I still did not say she is not free to do anything. I'm just saying I think it's disrespectful to the other friends in her group.

[noxius]

omg i'm done.

[AliyahMia]

I mean yeah that's really annoying and you have a right to be pissed off but it happens and there will be other opportunities. Don't let it separate you.

[Anoniemus]

Hangovers suck. It’s not wrong for her to cancel. You two can still go.

[Anoniemus]

I guess people don’t party here or have never... lol. Homebodies. I did this all the time. I partied and wouldn’t be able to make it. So what? It happens.

You eat before drinking, drink water during and still can get a hangover. LOL

[Asker]

We couldn't go because she was the driver and it was her car.

[sejla]

She probably should have got up and drove you to where you were going then went home.

[Izumiblu]

Yeah well Ofc it was wrong Of her to get drunk but now that she’s hungover it was best she not go.

[Primrose21]

I really hate that tbh. That exactly happened to us back then at college.

[kiran07]

ya because he should know that there will be prior sett meeting with friend.
he shd give certain importantce to that meet.

[blutwolfe]

sounds normal at your age, ya it sucks but shit happens, not everyone is mature

[ijusthadonequestion]

Shit happens. Give her a break in my opinion. People aren't perfect

[worldscolide]

Oh you're right to be pissed.. but why would you want to be friends with a drunk?

[KrisKris81]

Everyone makes mistakes. Are you sure it's due to a hangover?

[Cassie094]

Yes definitely I would of gone by myself then. And wouldn’t plan anything if they wanna do anything they gonna have plan everything.

[Jmmmfi4]

Yes I'd be annoyed however hangovers are HORRIBLE so if it was that bad I wouldn't want to go either.

[noPEx]

You should be mad. I would learn to drive the car once I cool down.

[QueenTanya]

mhm for sure. it's wrong

[Gabriel007]

Yes it is wrong...
It is disrespectful...

[Stoner710]

It’s not classy but it’s not wrong

[Chr1s_1999]

No I think that's a dick move tbh

[Anonymous]

Yes it is wrong. Some people just shouldn't drink.

[bklynbadboy1]

Yes it is is be pissed too

[falinesharp]

It depends on the plans

[Asker]

We had saved money and planned this a week in advance. It was extensively planned. But its ok. We figured stuff out.

[jimmy2]

No you are wrong to get drunk and have a hangover

[WhiteShoulder]

I agree with you

[openminded60]

That happens no big

[Chloster1234]

That's rude

[JJ19901]

Yeah sure