Do you think its better to just have one child and give them your undivided attention or do you think every child needs at least one sibling?

Question

I’m sure it also matters if the kids are close in age range... and if you’re a single parent... but feel free to also share your own experiences as an only child or if you and siblings fought for attention. My sis and I are 5 years apart and it definitely felt like we had to fight for attention. It didn't help that my mom also had to split attention between us, her boyfriend, and parents. She was pretty torn between us all but often put her kids first as she should...
#FeelFreeToList #BabyFever #SiblingRivalry

Rab1901 · Accepted Answer

As someone with 5 brothers and sisters, only 9 years separating oldest to youngest, I can definitely say that the attention was divided and hard to balance but I am very grateful for all of my siblings. I am 2nd oldest by the way. I wasn't always grateful and I hated them at times but I think this struggle is what made us stronger.

Financially, it's obviously more difficult but if anyone has a kid, I think they should at the very least have another one but 6 is too many. I can say that you just learn so much from having lots of siblings if you have a really great support system. For example, my older brother knows so much about history, my little brother knows about engineering, one sister is great at math/science, and my youngest sister even taught me about how newer technology works plus she's a great baker. But it's definitely not an easier life especially as a child since very few people truly understand what it's like to have 5 siblings. You may think "oh but your siblings understand" but no not even close especially as children. Children dont go thinking my bratty brother or sister understands. They think damnn why am I so different from everyone in class. And statistics show that people with many siblings usually dont do well in school and life. That's why the support system better be really damn good if you're gonna go for 6 or more kids.

From my experience, only children tend to think that they dealt with a lot because they had to figure out everything themselves and I'm sure that some of them hated being an only child but the good thing is that there are still many only children who recognize their experience. I think the ideal balance of everything for most people would be 3 or 4 kids although I know most people in my part of the world have 2. I do recognize that only children can be happy and open minded in other ways but if we are including all aspects I think that the best bet is to have more kids but not too many. If you dont have kids and you're financially unable to take care of two kids, I would say to try not to even have one.

Aakash_Hangargi · Accepted Answer

I am a Man who grew up with 3 cousin sisters and one sibling sisters, truth to be told I would have been happy if I had a brother, because girls ate different they form groups and there secrets you actually don't have a spot in there life except for doing your responsibilities my sister was always favoured over me every body liked her she was the calm composed and poised girl she used to be the daughter every parent would have won't caring sharing and all

Me and my sister are three years apart i was more of a serious guy didn't like to be told by everyone one what I needed to stubborn and rebellious but i had my own merits.
She too had restrictions as a Indian girl but she was provided with everything she was sent on trips which I was never sent I was not given any pocket money as she got all the gifts pritty dresses and all were I head jealousy with me it's like hello darkness be my friend though my parents loved me a lot in other means but it is what it was, I was a fussy eater and a separate dish was made for me daily and nobody can touch that except for me😜
Me and my sister us to fight like hell
1. for remote, and everything
2. i was Sheldon Cooper I had my spot nobody can sit there when I am in the room esp. My sister.
3. i was smarter than my sister
4. she even bet me with broom stick 😂🤣
5. I could not do it because she's girl there is no equality
6. she used to lie to her friends if did something wrong she would blame it on me 🤥
7. I was man of principles
8. She did all the household work I didn't do any
9. idid external works
There lot to say i short life without siblings is boring they are you true family cousins may come and go but siblings will be there for you every time you need make sure there is not much gap max 2yrs difference there life will be interesting

R_ūshī · Answer

Tbh I have a brother 4 years younger than I am and I think I'd be fine, if not happier without him.

I admit that he's one of the very very few people closest to me. He's like a super good friend and I relate a lot to him. We help each other often. HE NEVER RATS ON ME. I never feel the age difference between us.

That being said, I do feel like my mom has always liked him better. When he was born, I felt neglected a lot. When I was his age (from ages 8months to 3 years), my parents were not there for me but they were for him and I had to see that. Plus they were compensating their lack of attention by playing with me etc when they were free and when my brother was born, EVERYTHING was about just him to the point where I felt completely abandoned and I was. It was just my granny taking care of me and I was 4 at that time. I had to do everything on my own while my parents always had his back. And I had a rough tiger parenting like I had to do well at school and in sports and be well behaved while they never said anything to him.

Even today, it's still the same. I'm left to my own device a lot while my brother is spoon fed. Like this morning, we were sleeping and my mom came and told him "goodbye. Have a nice day, * insert his name*" and just left. I'm not complaining and she did it instinctively but still she chose him and not me and that says a lot. She buys him stuff and hide it from me etc. He has that sort of sneaky habit as well like he'll share stuff with her and will hide it from me. It might feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion but I'm really not. I opened up about my mental health issues and they just told me "to grow up". I said I need to see a psychologist and they didn't even say anything.

I'm not saying that I had a shitty life. They've made "a lot" of efforts to give me a good life and maybe that's why they can't understand me. I'm still sort of grateful for everything and will repay them but I don't feel much for them.

So yeah there's the good and the bad.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I’m one of four. I have two brothers and a sister and I’m Asian so my mother always favoured the boys but never admitted it! (Not that she had to - she made that very obvious anyway).

My relatives were messed up and kept complaining when my mother had two girls first and saying she doesn’t have boys but when she had the boys they weren’t delighted either. They still abused us all.

Personally I don’t think four kids is a hell of a lot, and we were all still quite spoilt in some ways so I didn’t have to really forfeit my share of material pleasures THAT much at least. I mean sometimes I had to wait longer for things but I got what I wanted usually. Even if I didn’t always get what I wanted I would say a house filled with colour and noise is better than one full of material goods.

We fought a lot as kids especially the eldest three but we took good care of our youngest brother. I think we mainly fought as kids because of the messed up upbringing and abuse inflicted upon us. Otherwise we are all loving and good natured kids who care immensely about one another and others.

After my father left we became closer, it took time but now that we are 21, 19, 16 and 11 we are closer than ever before. Of course you have ups and downs but I wouldn’t want to be an only sibling or have any less siblings. If anything I say the more the better.

I think every boy needs a brother and every girl should have a sister so I think the perfect combination is two girls and two boys because with two girls and a boy or two boys and a girl one will probably feel different and left out as they grow older because of the small differences between boys and girls.

The second best combination is a boy and a girl because they tend to be so close and they don’t have another same sex sibling so they’ll play with each other and nobody will feel left out but when they grow up I feel like there are certain things that only a sister can tell a sister and vice versa.

Now with just one kid I have sometimes thought I only want one because I don’t know how I can share my love and I’d feel guilty about sharing it and just want to love one but I think a parent loves all their kids just the same. The problem for the child is that they can end up feeling really lonely.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

I can see that you have an only child sydrom lol... not a bad thing... just facts...
My ex. husband is an only child... so I can see a lot of the behavior. "I don't want to share my mom" lol... its normal.

One of the reasons why I have two... aside from my mom telling me to have more kids.

I know only one will be too lonely for the kid.

With two.. is tricky...
They often test me to make me chose... I told them that I don't buy into their little trap... so too bad I love them both.. and yes... equally...
They always try to pull something... oh... he did this and you didn't yell at him...
I responded sure I did... and let them know that I did... and I yelled at you last time... you guys forget easierly how you were punished... so i reminded them...
at the end... I said.. good job trying to make me show favoritsm... but its not working... try harder next time... lol..
they past that age now... and see I play fair.. and they just play together, two peas in a pod...

lumos · Answer

I have a big brother and never felt like I didn't get enough attention or as if we had to fight over it. Although we had our fights while growing up, he has always made it clear that he's there for me and is willing to protect/help me.

I think this just depends on what works best for you and your child (ren), which is extremely difficult to predict. Some kids who don't have any siblings grow up being totally spoiled/not knowing how to share/wanting everyone's undivided love and attention because they grew up never having to share anything with anyone. On the other hand, they might also be more independent and self-reliant. And kids who grow up in bigger families might feel like they go unseen/unheard, or as if they're constantly being compared to one another (which might be hard, especially if one of the kids is smart and the other is struggling at school). "Why can't you be more like your brother/sister" is a hurtful comment I'm sure many kids with siblings have heard.

Personally I think I'd rather have 2 kids than just 1. They would be able to play with each other and hopefully they'd become really good friends who can talk to each other and rely on one another.

anniisa · Answer

Being an only child has its advantages, but for the most part it wasn't too great. I was too dependent on my cousins believing we were as close as real siblings. They were always around our house like 3 times a week (the whole family), and any family holidays we had would include them. I was quite bitter towards them when we drifted apart thinking they ditched me on purpose. But tbh it wasn't their fault, they already had siblings so naturally they wouldn't be looking for that in me so I understand why they don't get it.

I think most only children go through something like this though. I'm very close to my other cousins (and my best friend) but that only happened during my mid teens and unfortunately they live far away. I don't think I would have been as close to them right now if I was still as close to my cousins who live close by.

So, I definitely believe having more than one child is the way to go. It's true that only children get a lot of attention from their elders but thats not all that's needed to keep a child happy in my opinion.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have dated several women who were the only child of their family. I am not saying that they all had these problems, but several of them were self-centered and simply thought that the world was supposed to revolver around them. Have at least two children, if possible.

About an age difference of three years. Two years or closer and they share common interests. For years apart and the younger one has no interest in "hanging out" with the older child. There years = younger child wants to talk along, older child resents it.

Trooper205 · Answer

I personally think the Power of Siblings give a LOT of life lessons. TOO OFTEN have I seen an only child that couldn't help but think the World revolved around them. They can't help but think that, since they grew up with undivided Parental attention with nobody else to worry about. Siblings give a much better Worldview into perspective. More to Life than just yourself. Responsibility. Care. Selflessness. Compassion. Testing of Patience. I want my Children to have the BEST upbringing on Life as possible. To do that, Lessons on Life must be taught from the very beginning. We have Brothers and Sisters for good reason.

AllieOops · Answer

When you get older you will be happy that you had brothers/sisters. You will forget the fighting and that, and become closer to your siblings than you probably were when you were kids. The only child kids I knew tended to be weird and spoiled which taught them to be feel enabled when they became adults and therefore had few friends. When you have brothers and sisters you will be more adjusted and you might even enjoy the networking you get with them. When the parents die an only child will feel alone compared to the kids who had brothers/sisters as they are never alone with lots of cousins and aunts and uncles. You will have fun and happy family get togethers while an only child will have no one to be close to unless they get married. But we know how most marriages turn out now don't we?

Do you think its better to just have one child and give them your undivided attention or do you think every child needs at least one sibling?

Family portrait with sisters

Sbgirl · Answer

I am going to go by own experience. I think it is best to have at least two if you can, as long as you give them equal attention, treatment and opportunities. I have always been very close to my brother, but it helps that we're only a year apart. Being that young I don't remember him being born, so I wasn't jealous or remember life before him. But growing up having a best friend and play mate all the time made a huge difference to my childhood. Even now, I feel like a sibling has been through so much of what you have and will be the only person who understands your family and upbringing etc. If I had been an only child, I would have been really lonely I feel.

I have had a few friends who are only children. They have all been either really spoiled and selfish or lonely. I am sure that is certainly not the case for everyone, but it does seem to affect some people.

Civility · Answer

A child doesn't need any siblings as long as the parents can give them love, attention, the things they need, and a wonderful life!!! Both money and affection plays a huge role in being a parent! Due to my religious beliefs; I feel that it is more godly to have a large group of children instead of only 1, 2, or 3. Remember the biblical story of Abraham and Sarah? If I were a kid person, and if I didn't mind pregnancy, and if I met the right guy; I would have as many babies as my body allows me to but I'm not and I haven't and never will! So no thanks...

Smccoy217 · Answer

My sister and I are about a year apart and we had a blast. Outside of trying to kill each other. My youngest sister is 12 years younger, and she was basically an only child. She has a stuck up attitude from getting all the attention to herself all those years. Lol where as my sister and I have gone off to do great things, the most minor problem sets her off and she has to move home again. I'm not saying that had much to do with it, but maybe fighting for attention makes you more successful later.

Nik1hil · Answer

Having 1 kid and doing best for it is never going to work out,
nature does not work like that.

The correct way is having around 3-7 Kids and providing them with resources guiding them all correctly, and letting them choose things for themselves,
truth is they need to learn to be social with other kids,
they need to learn that life is a war, and natural selection is coming for them, Kids need to be taught that they need to fight back but also take care of each other,
and these values can only be taught if they are a group of 3-7 kids.

Not all kids will survive growing up, not all kids will find partners and have kids.
if you have just one kid and hope for the best, you are betting against all odds.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

An only child is spoiled. Two children tend to fight a lot. Three starts to balance things out. My ex wanted 6 as time went on. For a split moment I thought I was going to have a heart attack hearing her say this. Then as quickly as she said six the feeling went away and was suddenly game. Granted we both quipped that we guess we will have them till they start to drive us nuts. Hell, she even said 9 and I replied with, “we’ll have our own hockey team with a line change.” Lots of kids for lots of choring. More hands equal less work...

At any rate, I know had any other woman suggested more than three children to me that heart attack sensation would return. Thing is, I knew her being her and me being me that we would be ‘okay’ having 6 or hell, a dozen or more because how we were together. Crazy how the ‘right’ fit can change your entire perspective.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

I'm a single child and in my childhood, I felt very lonely and desperate for company.
I didn't had any children of my age range in my neighborhood and was pretty lonely.
It is bad in many ways. Have as much children as you can nurture.
They will also learn sharing and would also look among themselves. It would also make them brave and they won't have to depend on parents for everything.

Age difference between siblings will also help improving the sense of responsibility among older children and parents can trust their younger ones with the elder siblings rather than hiring some outsiders to babysit.
Having multiple children is also beneficial to the health of the mother as far as I know.
It will also reduce the risk of depression in parents and children as they have to focus on their yonger siblings/children. I think I could go on, but I guess I've said the important benefits. It is good for a child to have a sibling to support him/her and hold them close.

missangelavoss · Answer

Personally I have one child right now and he’s 5 have you ever seen kids play by them selfs it’s just sad to watch they don’t have anyone to do kid things with so I decided to give him a baby brother who he is expecting to see this August and he’s excited I think it’s best to give them siblings but you do not want to do it with them being around the same age gap that’s a no no

matchrestore · Answer

My wife and I have one kid, and we're on the fence about having another. Kids are expensive, our house is small, and one kid takes a lot of time and energy as it is. Right now we're leaning towards only child, but we're leaving the possibility for another one open for now. No vasectomy scheduled yet. We want to make that decision within the next two years though.

I-am-a-nobody · Answer

At least two or you'll focus TOO much on the one, which might be like being the only employee with two bosses hovering over you. The second one is entertained by the first, so they are marginally easier to care for (i. e. two kids are less than twice as hard to care for as one).

Apope16 · Answer

When times are bad it is so helpful to have a sibling that you can go to and talk about your feelings. I wish I had more siblings. I can't imagine being alone. I say this as someone who hated my sister growing up but now as an adult we really can open up to each other and emotionally support each other after being abused and abandoned by our parents.

MarkRet · Answer

I was an only child, and I felt like some kind of freak, because ALL the other kids my age had at least one brother or sister. The point was always driven home when one of the first questions an adult would ask me is, "Do you have any brothers and sisters?"

When I got married, we had two daughters, because I didn't want them to go through the same thing. The odd thing was, both girls were very different from each other, so they kind of went separate ways anyway.

nella965 · Answer

Most of those dumb parents who want a lotta kids , is that they do not realize that anything more than 2 kids , will have them fighting for attention and love, that they wholly deserve. Many kids who grew up in such families have low self worth and are constantly wondering if they are first priority

Do you think its better to just have one child and give them your undivided attention or do you think every child needs at least one sibling?

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