My friend verbally, and physically abuses his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

One of my close friends has been with this chick for a couple years now. I visit them pretty often and I've noticed he likes to ridicule his girl a lot. Not in the sense of harmless poking fun but he will actually call her some really bad stuff and try to embarrass her. I've also seen him be physically abusive with her. He throws sh*t at her and will hit her with things. He'll also grab her and pull her around? I don't know how to explain the last one. He's just really rough with her. He doesn't do it in anger he does it because he thinks its funny. She'll ask him to stop but he doesn't let up. I've tried speaking up about it but he'll claim she likes it or that he's not hurting her. I've seen her cry because of things he's done.

I don't know how to approach this with them because its not my relationship so really its non of my business, but it really bothers me to watch him do this sh*t to her. Should I do something? Should I leave it alone? Should I talk to his girl about it? How would I talk to him about it?

[JohnnyBlaze]

DEFINITELY STEP UP ON THIS ONE. This kind of sh*t just isn't tolerable. I don't care if she's his girl, or just a friend or whatever; being abusive with a girl just isn't right. She may be his girl, but she's been with him long enough that she's part of your crew now, as well. That means that she should feel safe from threats, both external and internal. If you want to think of it in selfish terms, the fact that you haven't done anything implies that you condone it, which makes you just as bad. You need to change that, fast.

Talk with her, as well. As it stands, she knows that you guys are all his friends, which means you'll probably back him if sh*t hits the fan. Let her know that you guys don't condone this and you're willing to support her over him in this one. She needs to realize that, if the two of them split, she won't be left out in the cold, all alone. Forget all that "bro's before ho's" crap. A real Brother wouldn't be treating his girl like this in the first place.

You need to send him a message, in no uncertain terms; "if you make her cry, I'll make you cry."

[Asker]

This was the answer I needed. She actually doesn't have a lot of her own friends here because he had her move back here with him. You just made sense of why she hasn't left him yet. I'm sure there's more to it then just being afraid she'll lose us all in the process but you've got me thinking more clearly about it now anyway. Thanks, I'll take your advice.

[JohnnyBlaze]

Just wanted to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I had to give you this advice, and I'm sorry about the position you're going to be put in. I'll tell you right now, it won't be easy. He's gonna try to blame everything on you; everything from her to the war to dinosaurs dying off. You're not the bad guy, and don't let him convince you otherwise. Just keep remembering her and that you're doing something good for someone. Stay strong, okay? She's going to need you.

I wish you the best of luck.

[DonMichelle]

JonnyBlaze... if I ever become attracted to men will you marry me?!?!?!

[JohnnyBlaze]

If I ever decide to swing that way, Friday night's all yours. Until then, we'll just put back a few beers.

[DonMichelle]

As his friend you NEED to tell him he's being a *****, if you're are his mate, you can see his behavior is unacceptable... put him on the straight path, talk to him, that's what mates are for! He's more likely to listen to a friend than someone else.

As a human... look what's happening to this poor girl!?!?! ''because its not my relationship so really its non of my business'' INCORRECT! When a person is mistreated without reason it's everybody's bussiness... and it's in the name of 'fun'... FUN... she's crying and it's fun? What kind of lad is he? He needs a slap and to grow up!

Do you ever console the girl, ask her if she's ok?

You need to say something for her sake more than anything, he needs lessons in life

[queenofpeen]

If I was in your situation, I'd definitely say something and wouldn't shut up until he listened. If he makes up an excuse claiming it's not a problem, I'd mention her crying. I wouldn't back down, even if it pisses him off.

Maybe you should talk to her about it before you talk to him, so you can get a better idea of what the situation is and how she feels about it. If she's willing to talk about it.

Sure, it might be none of your business, but she's probably in a lot of emotional pain, and interfering is the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I think you should confront him about it, because he has a serious problem. Or, that might be a bad idea. He might get angry or take it out on her. Maybe the best thing to do is to leave it alone, because in my opinion, she is the dumb one in this situation. If a guy is treating her that way, she should have enough sense and self respect to leave him.

[queenofpeen]

Oh, good point about him possibly taking it out on her later...

[Opinion Owner]

This is a really tricky situation.

[Armada]

Tell him to quit his sh*t. If he doesn't listen, take the necessary measures to make sure such behavior ceases.

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

Beat your friends ass...