My parents are charging me rent. Is this fair?

[lily42091]

Ever since I turned 18 my parents have been taking 150$ from me a month. I’m now 22. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but I’m only making around 400$ a month from my job. That’s almost 1/3 of all my wages. They’re well off and do not even need the money. I asked them if they’re saving it for me for the future and they laughed in my face and said I sounded entitled and that I should “contribute” to the house. I understand that that is fair, but I could contribute in other ways, especially since I only make 400$ a month, and all of that money goes to my car gas and car insurance. I don’t have any money to save because it all goes to them and my car. What do you think I should do and what should I ask them? Thanks for any help.

Updates

+1 y

Btw-
I understand this is fair and it’s their rules because they own the house, I was just trying to get everyone’s opinions to see if this is unusual or not

Updates

+1 y

I appreciate everyone’s input 😇

[lightbulb27]

Job of parent is to get their kids positioned well for life.

Getting them through school, with place to live, a job... financial and emotional stability so they can build their family.

It is hard to tell if what they are doing is structured to discipline you or punishment. Personally, I think it is too much rent for your income... but what would you do with the $ if you had extra?

My parents took good care of all their kids through college, helped me live very low cost so I could save money, helped buy a house. I got good education and job and all this put me on solid financial footing. That's how it should be done.

Get a plan and fix your life, that's all the choice you control.

[MCheetah]

It is unfair if you are trying to move out and get a place on your own and they are not helping you to do that (as was the case with my abusive mother). They may be trying to "teach you responsibility" and make sure you can survive on your own, but considering how little you make, I don't think this is the case.

It's a little unfair, but as your parents, they do have the right to charge you rent, as unfair as that may be. I'd only excuse it if you were lazy and didn't have a job or wasn't in school. Try to ask friends if you can move in together, as this is easier for girls. Your parents might just be mean.

[RedBullRacingLemia]

Is it unfair that her parents are charging her $150 a month or she just wining that her parents ask for rent.

[MCheetah]

@RedBullRacingLemia
If her parents are wealthy, and she is broke and they're preventing her from being able to save up and move out on her own, that yes, that isn't right. If she is just lazy however, then what they're doing makes sense. It doesn't sound like she is lazy though, as $400 a month is nothing (I used to make that much or less, 11-12 years ago). I don't give a damn who disagrees with me on that, but having come from a similar situation where your mother is just a piece of sh*t and you can't even move out on your own because of her, then I can sympathize with OP.

[lily42091]

I appreciate your response. Sorry to hear about your mom. I know the feeling.
It does suck that I can’t save up for my future. And it sucks even more that they don’t even need the money. I don't know why they even make me pay rent

[MCheetah]

@lily42091
You can try explaining to them that you want to move out in six months, but that you can't because they are taking all your money for rent, and see how that goes. Maybe they'll give you six months to move out and stop paying rent. Or maybe, they just won't care anyway.

[lily42091]

I’m sure they wouldn’t care. Plus I don’t have the means right now to move out. I’m not complaining tho- it’s much cheaper then anywhere else

[Anonymous]

I think it's fair. I know it seems very frustrating right now but this is something I wish my parents did to prepare me. When I moved out on my own it was a giant slap in the face. The cost for rent, my car, car insurance, utilities, groceries, etc unfortunately add up and I wasn't ready.

It may not seem like this right now but your parents do this out of love. It's tough growing up and moving out on your own and I can see that your parents just want you to be ready for all 'adulting craziness.'

You're young and i definitely suggest finding your passion in what you love for a job. Definitely look around for a better paying job. I'm not sure what you're interested in doing but I have seen remote jobs that pay $14 for 40 hours a week too if that's something of interest to you.

I also can't say much about your relationship with your parents but I remember when my parents would be too hard on me. It's very difficult to see in the moment but when I look back now, I know they do it out of love. Our parents just have weird ways of showing it sometimes. So also don't forget that.

[lily42091]

Thanks for your response ☺️

[Anonymous]

After 18, your parents have no obligation to pay your way. It's nice when some parents continue to do so, but others want you to start really learning about the real world that you live in, and you'll often find that it's not fair. What is however fair is them only charging $150/month. There is no apartment anywhere outside of a mud hut with no power and electricity that you can pay that little. The reality of the real world is you wouldn't even be able to afford rent right now elsewhere, let alone, health insurance, food, utilities, savings, etc so please please please be grateful for what you have because there are others who are on the streets and have nothing.

Instead of focusing on what you are being charged, focus on how you can help yourself. If you want to move out, you'll need more money. To get that you need additional income---are there any other side jobs you can do, another job you can find, somethings you can sell online? Look at the cost of apartments in your area and start working on a plan for how you can obtain the money you need to live the life you want. If you have no desire to do any of that, then don't complain because you really really don't want to see what it's like out there with your budget. You'll find out just how harsh the world can be and how.

[lily42091]

Thanks for your input!!!

[Effably]

Ultimately you're an adult and if you want to live there they can demand whatever they want, within legal limits.

Is 400$ a normal salary where you live? Given age and experience. Are you working less than full time? Can you step that up? So on.

If paying rent on your own apartment would be more affordable, get one! Moving from home to live on your own is perhaps the Best single feeling I have ever had as an adult. And I have like... pet a duck, jumped from planes, I even totally held the hand of someone I like a few times. Own place still wins.

I would start planning and working towards your exit strategy. Whatever it may be. Even just having a timeframe might make life easier on you.

You could absolutely sit down with them though. Walk over your income, expenditure and your desire to save money for X or Y. Compare it to theirs in a rational and polite way. That is your segway to then propose that you can assume some added responsibility. After all if they lose one hour of income for three hours of chores, well, most well-off households would be very interested.

[meetkitty123]

ARE you Serious! Young lady are you aware of the average price of rent now a days? Its over $1200 and thats not including utilities (electric water, heat, and cooling), cable, wifi, phone or cell phone! Where Im from the rent is $1500 for A 600sq foot STUDIO Meaning a sperate bath but the kitchen living room and your bedroom is all in one open room. And there is nothing else included in the rent. Parking is a separate fee. Oh and let me add many landlords demand you buy rental insurance and put it in their lease contract... which is a separate cost. And while i am on the topic of leases some places charge just to apply for a lease so they can run a credit check.
GIRL YOU NEED A WAKE UP CALL! And thats exactly what your parents are trying to do. You say your 22? Well I was living on my own since I was 18 and it wasn't any fairy tale! After many difficulties and struggles (homelessness too) Lots of hard work. I now own my house (fully paid for). You either need to finish school and or get yourself a better paying job. Heck Just to make ends meet for my family I took a second job part time as a cashier. If you find a job that pays. 10-13 dollars an hour at a part time rate (between 16 to 24 hours a week) you could be making at the least $688 to the most $1,341.6 a month. Good luck hun. I truly wish you the best!

[libsaretards]

The IDEAL budget for ALL housing expenses (rent and utilities) is 1/3 of your income, but the reality is, for most people, housing can be about HALF your check. As for housing, car and insurance taking everything you have and leaving you NOTHING, that is reality as well until you find a way to get a high-paying job and HOPE the education/training to get there does not cause you to go into debt that cancels out the higher wages. That is NOT even counting groceries, which MANY people forgo to pay the other bills. Many people have to face this at 18. You are 22 and blessed.

You have it way better than most and honestly do sound entitled. Once you pay off your car, you can then put that towards savings/investments. You have food (pretty sure parents are not letting you starve). You have to suck it up, be patient and then reap the rewards for your patience. Patience, discipline and hard work are how you move up. Whining about what you are lacking will lead your mind to negative thoughts, which is wasted energy to combat on top of your situation. Looking at your blessings and being thankful leads to positive thoughts, which can boost your morale and give you energy to do what must be done.

[Massageman]

Let's do the math.
Based on only a four-week/20 work-day month, you are making $20 per day. You need to get a real job.

Now, let's look at percentages. Many financial experts say that your housing should not exceed 30-35% of your income. Actually, even your math is rusty since that would be 3/8 or 37.5% of your income. Even if your folks were to knock that down to equal 33%, that is still $132 a month for your housing. And remember, that includes mortgage, homeowner's insurance, property maintenance, property taxes, utilities, etc. You need to be grateful for what you have.

Let's look at common sense. If you KNOW that you will have a maximum of $268/ month disposable income (assuming you pay no income taxes whatsoever), you are being irresponsible for buying a car which will cost you the car payment, insurance payment (higher because you are only 22) and the increasing cost of gas. You need to get some common sense.

I don't think it's fair either. You are getting far too good of a deal.

[zyxacb]

The answer my dad (who was making over $100,000 per year gave: my house, you have a range of choices in life, if you feel more suited to some other arrangement, go there.

When I worked retail, people would come in & complain about what the company should or shouldn't do based on their needs, wants, and desires, my response:

"They are a business & not required to do anything not mandated by law, or deceptive - if you do not want to shop here, you're not required to."

Your parents are trying to make sure you don't become "that person" who walks into others' places, focused on your needs, wants, and desires, because you're the center of the universe & have the right to walk into their universe & dictate rules to them.

Everything you do is your choice. If you have no other perceived better options, and this is your best scenario, you'll need to suck it up, deal with it, and learn to not be entitled & demand accommodation/control over others' resources you didn't earn & have no right to control.

[zyxacb]

Lol @lily42091 person disagreeing with: "I, a legal adult, should be able to set the rules on someone else's property & live there on my terms, because I'm not aware of any better situation where I can go."

[zyxacb]

by the way working minimum wage I pay my parents $600/mo rent & have have $46,000 toward a down-payment on a house once the market cools, while paying my own phone, paid off a car, insurance & anything else I buy (clothes, computer, etc.)... if you're irresponsible & entitled that's, as my friend says, a "you" problem.

[Frenchteacher]

It seems I may be in the minority here but I think rent is theft. It's a bit different when it's your parents, who may be under financial strain. But as you said, they're well off.
As for what you can do, unfortunately you don't have too many options right now. You could simply not pay and force them to literally kick you out. But that might get ugly depending on what they're willing to do. You could try moving out with another family member or good friend who might be willing to put you up for free or less money, in exchange for some services around the house or something. You could try reasoning with them too. You could explain that the help you get now will only benefit you in the long run, and set you up to be even more successful later on. Right now if 33% of your earnings are taken and you are unable to save, you have no chance of making any big purchases later on or putting a down payment on your own place or starting your own business. This is the time in your life when you need support and help, if you're ever going to 'make it'.
Good luck!

[MrsMcHenry]

My father tried to charge me over $1,000 a month & I told him I would pay him $800 a month. WAY too much for what I make. I have a son & am a single mother on top of that. I make decent money , but like you only bring home an average of $400 a week. But between 2 credit cards , my car note , car insurance , gas , my son & his after school care , my phone bill ,& other things , PLUS I provide my own food , laundry needs ,& everything else for my son & I ,& take care of my cat ,& my deceased mother's dog ,(which is ultimately his responsibility) it got too much.

So I agree , it's not helping you save up & learn responsibility if you are unable to actually do just that.
Try talking to them & see if you can explain to them that you can't save up and move out if you keep paying them so much a month. Maybe comprise & tell them you'll pay for groceries or the trash bill. Or half the electric bill. Or pay them $100 a month , so you can save for your own place.
I'm 30 years old , with a 6 year old ,& a full time job as an assistant manager ,& still can't afford to move out. Times are tough & they aren't getting any easier.

[andreasderjuengere]

May I assume that your people are consumerist Americans?
From what you describe, I'd rather live in a tent and by myself.
However, I don't know 'your' FULL story.

Presently, my stepdaughter and her boyfriend stay in my house.
My house has fixed expenses - no matter if they are there, or not. That's what I arranged... for myself.
They do contribute a little in power bill expenses - but I (we) never asked for that. It's appreciated, though.
If ''family life'' becomes a financial transaction, then we are better off without a ''family''.

I don't say that your folks are ''unfair'' - perhaps, they (and you) are just victims of your culture (or: what your ''culture'' has become)

[lily42091]

They are actually British.
I do feel like I’m no longer a family member. Feels like I can’t stay with them because they love me instead it’s like they just want my $.

[LovingLoverReturned]

No but i guess it's tough love trying trying make you independent.

Everyone is different so their should be no one size fits all and children shouldn't be forced to grow up fast when it wasn't their choice to be born.
But.. you will know they still love you if you absolutely can not pay the rent for some valid reason and they don't leave you to the streets. Lol. Otherwise, Goodluck, try your best and look at it as tough love.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Trying to*

[LovingLoverReturned]

There*

[LovingLoverReturned]

For any person lacking sense... When you are 18 you are still somebody's CHILD.

[lily42091]

Thankyou. I appreciate your response

[ShadezMcgee]

Charging you only $150? Shit, I would have taken that over what my parents charged me until I moved out. I got charged $500 a month.

They are probably factoring in food and utilities to your rent. If it is that big a problem, you really only have two options. Pick up another job to increase your wages to save and move out or find a new main job where you make more than you do now.

Honestly speaking, if you are spending over 2/3 of your income on expenses you are living above your means.

What do you do for a job? What's stopping you from getting a better paying one or a second one to give you breathing room outside of rent, gas and insurance for your car?

[Losalt]

Charging you rent *is* fair.
They're no longer responsible for you.
However you could ask them if you can agree on a different sum.
Alternatively see if you can find a different insurance company for your car that's cheaper.
Either way, you *need* to save.
You should also consider looking for another job, because that's not much money that's you're earning, and there's likely high demand for labour right now, meaning that if you look for a job you can probably find one with a better income.
And already being in a job is likely to make it easier to find a new one.
So don't resign from your current one till you've been hired in the new one.

I'd you're able to get someone, ideally some kind of boss in your current job to vouch for you and your character that'll probably also help.

[Poppykate]

😂 . Sorry, but you do sound entitled. I started working part time at 14. About 90% of my money was going to my parents. My parents believed I should be contributing to the household.

But you are an adult. $200 a month is a bargain for rent! No matter where you live!
You are living a very shelter life. You couldn’t rent anywhere for that price… and pay for food, electricity, phone, food, clothing, Netflix subscription, etc. You need to go back to your parents and Thank them! And if your mum is still doing your laundry 🧺 and cleaning the house etc, you need to give her a bouquet of flowers, and great big warm hug and a big thank you. She deserves it!

[midnightmoon05]

Based on what you said about your parents, they sound like they have their head on their shoulders..…and that I would think you would be looking for a more higher paying job, moved out… then happily take your parents out to dinner from time to time to show them what amazing parent they did to raise you.
be glad you have a home and your parents not kicking you out.
I started my career at 22 and purchased my whole family new set of furnitures…
all my parents kids are very successful because they raised us well.
be grateful and think what you can do for your parents

[Seinna]

Yes, if you're not in full time education and have a job then you should contribute. You are an adult after all. It's a bit harsh to take it from you when you just turn 18 because what does that even mean? 18 doesn't mean adulthood in my opinion. But I think the problem is that at 22 you only earn $400 per month... maybe they're trying to motivate you to find something better? I feel anything would be better than that. Unless you are in full time education and working at the same time then yeah they're pricks. But if you don't have anything else holding you back from getting a better job then you should. Because what if you didn't have parents and family home to rely on? Could you rent a place for $150 in your area? If not then you know you're doing something wrong as far as your career goes.

[crossdressingrihno]

That doesn't sound like a lot of money to be making honestly

If you're going to college then yeah your parents are a little bit in the wrong and maybe they should take 50 bucks off that since you do need money for yourself

However if you're not currently going to college or something like that then you should be earning more money which means you either haven't been looking for a better job or you're just not putting in time for your job and either way how can your parents be blamed for that

[honeynut-scenarios]

I’m sure it’s to prepare you for the future, but if you’re not able to save then I don’t see the point. I’d hope they’d help you in some way when it’s time for you to move out. I get not everyone is as fortunate to come from a wealthy home, but you are and it’s okay to be upset by this. Your phone bill, food on the table, clothes, occasional presents etc should still been seen as a privilege, but you seem humble enough to know that.

[lily42091]

Hey thanks for replying. I wouldn’t say they’re wealthy they’re just middle class. I’ve been paying for my clothes since I was about 10 years old I pay for my own phone bill and everything else.

[honeynut-scenarios]

Then wtf. Sorry to have assumed. I’ve been sheltered, and spoiled my whole life. A pay for a lot on my own now, but my parents always help when they’re able. I’m sad for you that you’re aren’t receiving that support and are working way harder than you need to just to live. I don’t know your parents background or why they feel the need to make you pay for everything on your own. A lot of people will argue “because you’re over 18” they don’t have to, but fuck that. If your parents have the means to help out and aren’t, you deserve clarity as to why. And maybe you’d be happier entirely on your own if you’re able to get a raise and move elsewhere.

[lily42091]

Yes girl!
I completely agree. I’m almost too embarrassed to ask why, I don’t want to seem entitled. They definitely have the means to buy me stuff, but my entire life they have been pretty selfish. They’re very selfish whenever it came to spending on me, even themselves they will always buy discounted stuff even tho again they don’t need too. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t want to help me out or occasionally buy me nice things. I just recently bought my own car ( I’m 22) because they refused to buy me one. It’s sucks seeing everyone else get stuff provided for them and not me.
You’re lucky! Xo

[itsalyssaagain]

I think it’s fair. Do all parents do it? No. But it’s fair.


I’m 24 and I still live with my parents. I’ve helped them with bills since I was 18. Nobody ever asked me for help but when I had the extra money I did because it’s not moral of me to watch my older parents slave away to pay the bills and I keep the money to myself.


I wish I had even more money to pay for everything for them. They deserve it. I’m an adult and without them wouldn’t be where I am today. They paid for me all these years and gave me the best life they possibly could.

[Anonymous]

They're trying to prepare you for what it'll be like on your own (and you are an adult now). This will be true for the rest of your life now (a mortgage for adults or even rent will take up that much of your pay, even when you get a better job). Life sucks! lol Now they shouldn't have laughed at you about saving money, that is good, but I believe their intentions are good here, even though it sucks for you. They're just trying to prepare you for what life will be like and make you responsible, as it will come sooner or later regardless.