Do you really have to have kids to enjoy life?

[ChicanaChick]

A couple relatives keep calling them the joy of one's life, how I'm at the right age, that I'll be 25 next year, how I'll regret it if I continue delaying motherhood, the importance of finding a husband, etc. Meanwhile I'm yawning during that whole conversation and think of babies as ''the annoying brats disturbing my goals''.

One of my many goals is travelling to the Great pyramids of Giza and other places, enjoying life as a sole traveller.

Seriously do you really have to have kids to enjoy life? I have no desires for them at the moment. Zero. I think of them as annoying brats.

[RedStealthOperative]

Kids can be a joy, but you don't have to have them to enjoy life. I've heard many women say if they could do it over again, they'd just stay single, and work on themselves. Lol

Kids can be super stressful, and insomnia inducing. I grew up as the oldest sibling of 4 in my family, taking on much more responsibility than I should have been given. I basically raised my youngest sister, meanwhile another was autistic and couldn't speak, destroying a lot of things in the house and the other was an angry teenager that put my family through hell. I never got the sleep I needed growing up, and missed so many things a teenager normally experiences. I feel like I'd have to be nuts if I ever wanted kids in this stage of my life after going through all of that. I'm not sure that I ever want them at all.

Thing is, you never know what you're gonna get with kids, temperament wise, health, and life issues in general. Are you willing to take the risk of heartbreak, should anything terrible happen to your child? Are you willing to go through sleepless nights? Are you willing to go through hell from an angry teen? Are you willing to care for them for the rest of their life, should they be disabled or inherit some disease? These are all strong possibilities when having a kid.. . I mean anything, ANYTHING could happen!

Kids are a challenge, and I think if you have goals, you should work on those goals before having kids. Even if you never have kids, achieve those goals, and then meet someone who also doesn't want kids, you can still live a very happy and meaningful life.

Those relatives who keep calling them a joy in life won't always be there to help you through thick and thin with your kids. At the end of the day it's just you, and hopefully a partner that stays faithful to you. Consider the risks. Kids aren't a choice you should just jump into out of pressure from relatives or society. Especially as a mom, kids are a commitment for the rest of your life! Your old life will more or less be over as you know it, once you have them. Lol

[SteveSmith1985]

NO!!! You absolutely don't! This is very much a "different strokes for different folks" situation.


This is going to depend ENTIRELY on YOU and the kind of future you envision for yourself.

I have definitely known women who have always known they want to have kids. They've known it since they were little girls (in some cases). When they picture "a happy future", for them, kids are an indispensable part of their idea of "being happy." That's fine, but that's not for everybody.

If you want to see the Great pyramids and go on all sorts of solo travelling adventures, then that's simply YOUR idea of "being happy".

Don't worry about "missing out". If you were going to feel that way, you would feel that way already. Some women don't want kids, and that's cool. You go do all your travelling. That's what's going to make you happiest. Don't even worry about this. 🙂

[ChicanaChick]

Cool. I'm tired of my family pressuring me on kids and marriage. They think that just because I come from a large family and some members are traditional, I have to follow that route.
It's a good thing we now have a lot of options besides just finding a man and popping kids like crazy.

[SteveSmith1985]

Your family means well. They want you to be happy, and so are pressuring you to secure happiness (AS THEY UNDERSTAND IT). What they're not appreciating is that, perhaps, you don't share in the same idea of what "a happy life" looks like. I would hope that they'd back off once they realize they aren't helping. Maybe you should talk to them?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

No, in fact more studies show childfree or childless people are happier.

You should really only have kids if you really want them, can afford them, and are in a place where you KNOW you can and will prioritize the child over everything and everyone else.

Children aren't mandatory. They're absolutely optional.

The only people who try to push the "all people must have kids" line are breeders who are miserable and need to see others suffer their same misery in order to be happy.

I'm 31, voluntarily sterile, childfree since 7, and I don't think people who aren't SURE they want kids should have them.

You can't take back having a kid. Even if you put it up for adoption or lose it later on, your body is already fucked up, and you've already wrenched another living soul into this fucked up world.

It takes a very dedicated or very fucked up person to do either.

Kids are optional. If they weren't, virgin birth would be a WHOLE lot more prevalent.

[SaartjieJane]

Don’t have to have kids to enjoy life. Kids are bundles of joy though I will say. Personally I’d be devastated if I don’t ever have the chance to have kids

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s a personal choice.

my sister will not have kids and is happy about her decision, she’s enjoyed her life.

personally they greatly add to your life and give you an amazing lift at times.

[MattSmall]

Trust me, it sounds horrible until you have them... I've got twin girls and even though they're a lot of work and can screech like a couple of banshees, they're better than anything I've ever done.
I've been to over a dozen countries, hiked and swam and explored some of the most amazing and beautiful places, met some of the most interesting people, and I don't miss it for a moment. I've never experienced anything more permanent and fulfilling than being a father.

[exitseven]

No, I have a friend who decided not to have kids. He and his wife take frequent vacations and seem to not miss having kids.

[ChicanaChick]

Cool. Sounds like fun.

[exitseven]

kids are not for everyone. I am glad I had mine but they were a lot of work and they took a lot of sacrifice.

[DavidRaul]

No its not important. Some people just really want to have kids and others don't. It varies. You are just 24. You have a lot of time. So just focus on yourself and your solo trips. Its fine if you don't want to have kids

[one1wild00]

Yes, I've been wanting kids since before I got out of school and things are empty for me without them.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes I really want kids and to start a family. I see the value in it.

[FunkyMonkee]

No but it WOULD be nice to pass the family name onto someone and all of my stuff and knowledge.

[ChicanaChick]

I guess so. For now I don't want them. I've been told by many relatives that I'll likely change my mind when I'm older. Probably. For the meantime, I just want to dedicate on myself.

[FunkyMonkee]

Nothing wrong with that.

[Guy13]

Only to continue life… or have a fulfilled life.. but not to enjoy life…

[serious]

No that is not required at all

[JohnK123]

No but I would want kkds

[slatyb]

No, you don’t.

[skyeee_]

nooooooooooo

[Flower7]

No, not at all!

[ChicanaChick]

Cool. I have no interest in doing what my family wants; kids and marriage. My commitment for now is travelling and learning about different places.

[Danny_dan92]

Nope

[ChicanaChick]

Cool