Is getting pregnant by a loser (NOT ME) one the worst nightmares for any parents?

[CelineBV]

Someone in my friend's family got pregnant at the age of 19. The girl's parents and other relatives hate that guy. Though by now, they're all being hypocrites with that guy, only geting alone for both the girl and the baby's sake.

So basically:

He's a loser they hate and has even openly been rude to her family

She was going to start college... her parents wanted her to study something

He already has two older sons: a 15 and an 17 year-old. He was 18 when he fathered his oldest son.

He has asked her for money a couple times before

She got pregnant so young without commitment (they're just living together)

[Avicenna]

Yeah, parents obviously don't want that to happen to their daughters. This guy isn't a good candidate for a stable relationship and probably isn't much of a provider. The parents will be providing lots of childcare and probably financial assistance as well.

[CelineBV]

It's sad seeing so many girls falling for the same thing: a smooth talker promising everything, making her live with him and provide cooking services and even get pregnant... all that without commitment. While she's just his girlfriend, he can break up any time and she's another of the many single mothers.

[Avicenna]

Marrying this one wouldn’t bring any advantages, though, and might actually be worse. The real problem is that as a single mom, her chances of attracting a decent guy are very low, especially when this loser doesn’t or can’t pay child support. Hopefully her family will help her out enough.

[CelineBV]

Exactly. She chose a losing position, something that won't benefit her at all. From a biological view, the only way a woman wins is if she finds a good provider that commits. If he would've been a business man for instance, good provider and proposed instead of living together, her situation would've been good... she would've won right there but she chose wrong.

[CelineBV]

so much girls don't think... wow
Yeah she ruined her chances of finding a decent man in the future... if her relationship doesn't last.

[Avicenna]

It won't last. She didn't need to be with a high earner, either, just a guy who makes decent money and can manage his money well.

[Vesuvius87]

This is exactly why I'm glad to have once told my ex boyfriend this (literally my words):

''If you ever get me pregnant, I'm going to abort the baby. I'm getting rid of it. I don't want babies.''

I was 19 years old when I said that. Even though he ended being a narcissist and one of the worst man I've ever met, he never forgot those words. He admitted years later that I scared him when I said that. Good. I saved myself from a real nightmare. Maybe deep in my subconscious (our gut instinct many of us ignored), I didn't like him as a future father nor provider. The thought of getting pregnant by him disgusted him at the time.

[Vesuvius87]

**The thought of getting pregnant by him disgusted ME at the time.

[Jamie05rhs]

Um, then why were you fucking him? 🤷

[Vesuvius87]

@Jamie05rhs
Well I was 19 at the time and wasn't really thinking about kids and marriage. Plus I saw that he didn't even feel ready nor mature either but kept him as a boyfriend... because I thought that was love... I really thought part of me still love him. I just thought that it would be a long-term relationship that would eventually flourish as we get older. I broke up when I was 24 and went dateless for year (out of choice).

At some point I realized the years were slipping by and it wasn't until after my 28th b-day that I wanted kids. He kept insisting for another chance so ok, I gave him that 2nd chance and got back with him when I was 29. This time I really wanted marriage and kids and made it clear to him, about how I've changed my mind and he lied about wanting the same thing. It was all a game. He hated me and actually was after my money. Yes, I wasted additional pointless time on that.

[Vesuvius87]

He was a narcissist and sociopath the whole entire time. It was all a game the whole time. So therefore my then 19 year-old self actually said the right thing when refusing to get pregnant by him.
Enery, money and time got wasted but my only relief is I didn't have kids with him.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Vesuvius87 Ah, okay. Thanks for explaining. And I'm sorry you went through that.

[Vesuvius87]

@Jamie05rhs
It's ok. I'm now in my 2nd relationship (8 months into it by now) with someone better. It's been nothing but happiness and no drama.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Vesuvius87 Wonderful! I'm very happy to hear that. 😊

[LazerBean]

Well yeah, that is a huge negative effect on both the mother and child, and for probably 10 minutes of pleasure. It's a slap in the face because not only is your grandchild going to face a problems from having a shitty dad and potentially growing into a shitty adult as a result of his influence, but it also says "your daughter is an idiot".

[CelineBV]

Either those losers are getting smart these days or the girls are getting more stupid. I still can't understand how a girl would even move in with someone that's much older and still not a suitable provider, agree to play house and even get pregnant without real commitment.
All that ''but I love him, the moon and the stars'' isn't logical. What about the expenses for the baby, is he going to stay with you and get married eventually? Nope, she'll likely be another single mother.

[Guy13]

That qualifies as a Nightmare for all especially when she realizes there is no child support to be had... she is doing it on her own !!

[CelineBV]

yeah she's screwed. He can break up any time, bailed out and she's left as another single mother. By then her dating pool of other suitable (quality) men will reduced so much. Very few men would want to be a provider to kids not his.

[Guy13]

Yep, some people have to learn the hard way... and lonely life way... Very sad... you're a nice person even to care. :-)

[Apple1996]

Not really. He could turn his life around and also be a amazing dad. I'd never doubt someone cuz that's exactly what my parents did to my baby daddy and he ended up turning into a good dad and marrying me.

[Jamie05rhs]

Awwww ❤️. That's so sweet. I'm so happy for you guys!

[GlassTop]

He has kids that are age 15 and 17? And she’s barely trying to start college? Sounds to me the girl is an idiot. Not him. He just got some young pussy.

[CelineBV]

wow she's very stupid. She ain't getting commitment nor a quality man. By the time she figures that out, she would have already reduced her dating pool of decent guys. No quality man is going to be happy about provider for someone else's child, someone's else's mess.

[GlassTop]

Unless she is beautiful with a nice body. Some guys love milfs.

[DaveJord]

So I would say getting a loser pregnant is a nightmare... it was for me and it went on for 22 years before I could cut the cord.

[DaveJord]

Oh yeah and she really fucked up the kids as well... which why I stayed so long to try to protect them and I failed.

[Jamie05rhs]

Pretty much! But an even bigger nightmare for the girl!

[CelineBV]

It's shocking how pleasure makes those girls not think with their brains. Yes, he promises you the moon and the stars, yes he loves you, yes it must have been fun all that pleasure but what thing of real value has he given you? NOTHING

[Jamie05rhs]

@CelineBV IKR?

[KrakenAttackin]

Evidence you failed as a parent.

[EaterPeter]

Hell yeah