Do you have a friend that is constantly letting you know how much better their life is than yours?

[sage2021]

I have had this friend, Judy, since we were 12 years old and in junior high school. After high school we have always stayed in touch. She called me her sidekick not that long ago.
She married a guy who comes from money. She knows I don't have all the things she has, and I never will.
Now I am beginning the think she has just kept me around so she would have someone to brag to about her life. She would always send me pictures of her vacations, brag about the cruise's they are going on, etc.
The short of it, we would text the past 6 years and she came here to visit me two times. She lives in another state.
I never used to tell her about my problems as to not stress her out. One day I really needed her to be my friend and three days went by and no return text. So I texted her and asked if she was dissing me? She wrote back and said she didn't have time for my bullshit. WOW!! My problem was bullshit to her, but me encouraging her through two breast cancer's and being a supportive friend when she needed one was ok.
So, after 50+ years we are no longer friends. I never texted her back when she called a hard time I was going through as bullshit. She sent me a card in the mail saying even though we are no longer friends, she will always pray for me. That sounds like she's whipped out her guilt insurance on me.
Just wanted to know if this or something similar to this has happened to you before?
Have you ever had a friend that just used you to brag to?

[Lliam]

That's messed up, Sage. How hurtful.
It's weird how people change. I have to say that almost every close friend and I eventually grew more distant over time. People change and drift apart.

[sage2021]

@Lliam thank you for your opinion and your comforting words. Yes, it is messed up. When I look back, she's always been that way to me. I guess I just thought we were always best friends. She sent me cards that said "I love "up until she until she turned on me.
Glad it's over and though.
Thanks for listening 😔

[Lliam]

It's one thing to drift apart, but its weird to turn on someone without a reason.

Thanks for the MHO, my friend.

[Andres77]

nope. when that starts i realize that they are not friends. they are parasitic and use me to feel better about themselves.

[sage2021]

@Andres77 You are absolutely right. Now I know that it's exactly what she was doing to me for so many years!
So, I take it you know about this type of person. It's kind of strange that she has all of the material things and security, yet I know I am a better person than she is, because I have never treated a friend that way.
Thanks for your reply.
Sage 🌹

[Andres77]

👍😊👍

[Bethany22]

My mother's around your age and has the same experiences. She has so many of these situations happen to her that I start to wonder what her part in the situation is. She always gets defensive when I try to suggest things she could improve on, whereas when she tells me stuff I need to improve on in my friendships, I'm not allowed to defend my case. It's like she prefers to view me as a careless friend towards my friends, just so that she has someone to take her hurt feelings out on about her own friends.

[sage2021]

@Bethany22 I was always a very good friend to her and she knows that. She probably got tired of being mean.
I haven't quite been healthy since before the COVID. But that second shot changed my health for the worse. I never went on to her about how sick I was, because she said she was keeping stress out of her life. So, I always kept things on the light side. She always complained to me about how sick she was. Yet, she somehow found the strength to make it to their family reunion at the beach. (a 14 hour drive, one way). She also let me know it was $3,000 to stay at for one week (she included pics of it of course). And more pics of her granddaughter playing on the beach. She knew I always wanted a granddaughter, but it just wasn't it in the cards. She said and did all this at the time I was going through a rough spot. She didn't care about my problem I was going through, she just made sure I knew about what a great time she was having.
So, after she didn't respond to my next for three days and I texted her again - that's when she said she didn't have time for my bullshit. I was totally shocked she said that to me and I never communicated with her again. I still think about her because I've been close friends since we were 12 - so I was used to always having her on my mind. I just have to find a way to stop thinking about her. I have so many childhood memories of us. We grew up in San Francisco right near the beach and made endless memories together. I just can't forget about the memories we made before she married Mark and his money. It's funny. She was so poor when she was growing up. Her family was the only white family in a black neighborhood. She was humble back then.
Oh well.. thanks for listening.
Sage 🌹

[Sixgunsound]

@Bethany22, this is sometimes referred to as crisis reenactment, what you were describing with your mother. If you get a chance to go through your psychology textbooks, they can help you way better than I can.

[Bethany22]

Yes, when you've been friends for so long then that's probably very frustrating

[Bethany22]

@Sixgunsound Wow, that sounds really interesting! I'll have to do more research on that. Thanks for sharing :D

[OlderAndWiser]

I have never gone 50 years with someone who acts like that. If I saw that behavior on two or three occasions, I would be making an exit from that friendship.

[Sixgunsound]

Oh yeah definitely sounds like she was taking advantage of your Goodwill.

[Sixgunsound]

My brother frequently finds ways to sneak in demonstrations of how much better his life, his family, his wealth, his position, and the speed at which he got them all is better than mine

[exitseven]

This never happened to me but I get why you are pissed. You deserve better.

[FunkyMonkee]

No. At the moment, I don't really have ANY friends.

[Guy13]

No as that’s not a friend

[aaron210419]

She is not your friend

[In_Trance]

no i don't