How do you become closer friends with somebody who isn't talkative?

[trina_x]

i want to be her friend so badddd

but she's just so antisocial i have no clue what ever to say to her!

its so difficult what do i dooooooooooooooooo

[Datboi65]

I'm that person. I'm a man of few words in real life (depending on my mood) and I can tell you that usually it has nothing to do with being antisocial, at least for me.

The reason why I'm this way is because I like to preserve my energy. I like my space, and I rather think about more important topics. Parties and outside activities ALL the time take away from my energy, so I very rarely engage in them. However, I'm a very confident speaker if I chose to, and I'm really good at introducing myself and carrying a conversation with new people.

Your friend on the other hand may or may not have social anxiety. If she has social anxiety, don't be pushy about it. Do something nice, like give her a sandwich and use that as a conversation starter for example. Also, don't ask questions that give yes/no answers like "did you do your homework?" Or "did you like the sandwich?" But rather an open-ended question like "how was the homework?" Or "what do you think about the sandwich?". If they can answer in more detail, you can always progress into other topics with the natural flow of the conversation. A sequence can go like this:

Meatball sandwich => Spaghetti and meatballs => Italy => Traveling => Other fun activities... I think you kinda get the point.

Once you break the ice, that's it. However, you need to be patient and not force the interaction.

To sum up:

1) Observe her behavior

2) Do something nice

3) Be patient

4) Break the ice with open-ended questions

Best of luck 👍🏾

[Guy13]

Do things together. Play chess, checkers, scrabble, puzzle and chat while doing it etc...

[trina_x]

yeah
uh
can't do that without speaking to her
its coming on a bit strong if i say wanna meet up and play chees randomly

[Guy13]

Yes you can... how old are you.

[Guy13]

Oh, I see. You will figure it out.

[trina_x]

why does my age matter there

[Ladybugharp]

Is she antisocial because she's toxic and manipulative or more likely because she's shy and/or introverted?

If she’s shy or introverted by nature, she may take a little more time to open up and build trust with people. How long have you been friends?

Asking open-ended questions with follow-up questions, mirroring her body language and her conversational pace, is something to help her feel comfortable. In addition, a genuine listening interest is great ammunition to continue a convo and learn about her interests and quirks.

Just don't forget a friendship is a two-way street, so if you start to feel like you're putting in ALL the effort, that she is avoiding you, often cancels plans and shows zero interest in you - sorry, but you'll probably need to reconsider your friendship.

[BlueScorpio]

I've got people like that at work, some of them are just very closed off or a closed book. I tend to be friendly but just let them be after a while if they come across to difficult to chisel through. You're not gonna be able to pry everyone open, if you can make connection that great but don't try to force it. I've always gone by vibes, I know who's easy to approach and who isn't

[dustybiker]

Pay attention to the details. When they mention they like something. Or you notice they get the same snacks, drinks, etc. regularly.

Bringing them something small like a drink or snack specific to their liking, as an act of kindness, opens doors.

[Anonymous]

That's not what antisocial means.

Antisocial means you go against social norms.

For example you breaks laws, underage drinking, stealing, can't adhere to authority, can't control emotions, having psychosis or psychopathy disorder.

[Opinion Owner]

If she's not open to talking to you maybe she doesn't want to be your friend or maybe she doesn't know what to say to you?

[whereismyjohnny]

Be friendly and ask open-ended questions. Try to find out her interests and if you have something in common.

[trina_x]

ik she likes hurdling but besides that i have no clue
what exactly do you mean by open ended questions

[whereismyjohnny]

Well, that's good for a start. You can ask her something about it. Like how she got into it and if she has a favourite athlete for example. Then you can proceed to ask her if she likes some other sports or something else besides hurdling/sports. Once you hit it off and get to know each other a bit, it will be easier to talk.

By open-ended questions, I meant to ask her questions that require longer and proper answers instead of just ''yes'' or ''no''. Draw her out.

Just be patient and friendly. Good luck!

[AmeerX]

Stop being nosey. Just let her be. You are young so just understand you can't make friends. They come your way with time. Be nice to her though and if she wants to be your friend she will start to get closer with you.

[_Troian_]

By not chasing them, thats the golden rule of everything especially with finding a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend etc. if you chase someone, they gonna get away from you so just stay back a little let them come to you aswell.

[WeirdoFriendly]

Find out what she likes. Or ask if she'd like to listen to some music you think she'll like. Shouldn't be too hard to get to know her without getting to know her

[HighValue]

Participate in hobbies together that you both enjoy.

[ThatCanucker]

Well if she actually is anti-social... that kind of means she doesn't like socializing.

[PinkRose24]

That's not what that means

[curiousjohnnstamoez]

Just hang out, find out what they like to do that doesn't involve talking. Some people find affection more physical then verbal too.

[stargazeraug1989]

Why do you want to be her friend so bad?

[DiegoO]

Friendship is a slow ripening fruit.