How do I politely tell my dad to stop sending so many messages?

[sheikalana]

We live in different countries. I left home when I was 25 that means seven years ago. We never had a great relationship and I never been daddy's little girl. My father sends a bunch of unnecessary text messages almost everyday and I simply do not have time to answer or pay attention to it because most stuff he sends is either ridiculous or misinformation. I have a job and travel for work. Often times when I don't answer he sends even more messages to see if I answer. Sometimes when I check my phone I have 6/10/24 unread messages from him.

This has happened before and I told him I don't sit in the house all day waiting for his messages and if a message doesn't require a reply I simply don't answer because it's useless.

It got to the point where I wish I could just block him but I think that's very mean. One day I'm going to get married and have kids and does he really expect me to have time for my phone and his pathetic messages?

[BarryLiverstone]

Instead of telling him to stop sending, instead let him know your schedule. For example if he knows generally when you are sleeping or working then he can start to pattern his communication to when you have free time. That way if he still sends during those busy hours you can set up an auto response like : “sorry but I’m currently working, this message has been automatically deleted”

[sheikalana]

Dude he doesn't need to know my schedule. I'm 32 years old! Plus even when I used to tell him where I was that did not prevent me to send me text messages. I would open my phone and have a bunch of messages.

[BarryLiverstone]

Not your whole schedule, just generally blocked out times like a shared work calendar. For example I wouldn’t text my parents between 8 pm to 8 am as I know they are sleeping or whatever.

[EaterPeter]

Reply to fewer messages. Do not check that frequently. Try telling him calmly politely. Dad these are so many messages. I care and worry about you hence I check all the messages just to learn they are not as important as I thought. Yes they feel important to me bcoz they are coming from you. Very many time I feel disappointed after seeing message that doesn't mean you are not a good dad. First approach is much better. Do you use what's app?

[EaterPeter]

There is no easy way out. First approach is better. If you use whatsapp start with blocking his messages for an hour. Or put your phone on do not disturb or driving or airplane mode. Try using all legit excuses.

[EaterPeter]

And do not repeat yourself angrily. When your dad argues tell him dad I was busy. Once you have legit excuse it will be lot easy to defend yourself which doesn't mean you should defend yourself all day long.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[Anonymous]

That's so sweet. He loves you and doesn't want you to forget about home.

[sheikalana]

I can't see it as sweet. It's annoying to me.

[Opinion Owner]

I get it but still he loves you alott and doesn't want to lose you..