Should I tell my mom I heard her talking about me behind my back?

[Pink2000]

My weight is something I’ve struggled with all my life. I’ve been underweight, over weight, obese, normal. I’ve starved myself, tried different diets, worked out everyday… With that being said, the reason I e always struggled with my weight was because my mom really damaged me growing up and it was very hurtful. She would call me names and say stuff about how I look which she still does today but not as much. Today I went out to her car to give her back her debit card that she left in my room and I could hear her talking on the phone to my great grandmother and I heard my great grandma mother say “I wouldn’t dare tell her that, she’s getting so big” It actually hurt my feelings. Usually I’d brush it off but I think I’ve just been so sensitive since my dad passed. I don't know if I should bring it up to my mom or not.

[MementoMori777]

are you sure she was trying to be insulting when she said that? i know its not a good thing to hear but its not like she was being insulting, she couldve said you were growing like a melon or some stupid shit like that, people also made comments on me when i was gaining weight but i didn't take it offensive, i just know i gotta watch myself, its possible you might be gaining a bit of weight and that happens, dont take it as a insult, but if you want to confront her about it then do you, but she didn't say it to your face which can also mean that she isn't trying to offend you but she's noticed you gain weight and told your grandmother which you overheard on, i guess it all depends on the tone and how she said it.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think if this happened to me, I would keep a distance from her and if you live in a separate house than you are doing good, if not then do your best to move out. This is sad to think a parent would do this to their child this is so hurtful, and I wish you the best my friend to take matters and be emotional stronger and stay away from her.

[Pink2000]

Thankyou

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Pink2000 You're Welcome

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Whatthefluff]

That’s awful, sorry you overheard that. As you’ve said yourself, your mom is a source of mental and emotional damage to you since childhood. It seems she is really insensitive and numb to your emotions and mental well-being. You can bring it up if you want, but just know that you are okay the way you are. I am sorry that she made you feel bad about yourself. A mother should be a paradigm of unconditional love and support, and she does not provide that for you. Do you live with her?

[Anonymous]

Firstly, I am so sorry. Secondly, I’d try to find some safe people to confide in. Thirdly, I wouldn’t confront her. It would be a waste of your time. My own mother can be toxic sometimes. When you confront a person like that, all they’ll do is gaslight you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Her delivery may have been painful to hear (unexpectedly), but if you're ACTUALLY obese then she has legitimate reason to be concerned. Coming from someone who was before. Feelings don't trump medical fact.

[Pink2000]

I’m not obese. That’s the thing. I was actually at a place where I felt happy. I’m overweight for my height sure

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well how you feel isn't medically relevant. I felt great when I had a 40 BMI. I was happy, sure, doesn't change how that overtaxed my joints and heart.

So you're not obese, that's great, but you say you're overweight. When you mom said you were getting bigger... WERE you getting bigger?

[Pink2000]

No. That’s why I’m upset.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well that's crappy. Was it a less flattering outfit? I mean you can weigh the same or less but LOOK bigger in one outfit, maybe if your mom doesn't' see you much that's what happened?

If not, I'd tell her, "actually I'm down in weight from last month/year/whatever, thanks for your support"

[jeffend888]

Let me give it to you straight.

Your parents (just in this case, mom) have been talking about you behind your back for years.

Everyone has been talking about you behind your back for years. It's just a matter of what is being said.

[DizzyDesii]

My family would say rude stuff like this directly to eachother’s face. It sucks but these days people just dont care. So sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire

[fonduegirl]

That was very bit_chy of her. She belongs to Twitter.

[SnowedIn]

Only if you think it'll do any good.

[EaterPeter]

Nope.

[eagle1951]

sure tell her