2 months ago, I've reported my father for yanking my 5 year-old son's hair very hard and yelling at him as ''discipline'', making him cry and shake in fear. He was lucky my husband was working at that moment. He was just as furious as me. We never hit our son ever. The use of corporal punishment is banned in our house. As a result, my so called ''father'' and I mutually disowned each other. He did it first and I returned the favor. Then just 2 weeks ago, my younger sister disowned him too and is on my side.
Our mother has been desperately trying to get us back. He told her the only condition is for me to drop the charges and apologize on my knees or I'll continue being dead to him. My sister has to apologize too but she refuses. NEVER. He used to spanked as us with a belt or paddle; many times for something so stupid such as struggling with a math homework or some BS. I call that abuse.
I honestly feel like cutting contact with my mother too. First for not defending us against our father, standing by and doing nothing when we needed her. If a parent does nothing, I believe they're just as guilty too. Secondly, for pressuring my sister and I to make peace with that so called sperm donor. Lastly, for continuing to be with that abuser.
Honestly, why do abusive, toxic people think they deserve apologies?
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NO , they certainly don't , and the only way you stop this toxic stance is by sticking to your guns , this is how we stop this utter bs ! You are doing the correct thing , Sorry you father is an absolute IDIOT , your mother is a part of that ( probably out of sheer fear ) , people like your father need to be stopped , and I congratulate both you and your sister.
Indeed. I stick to my guns. If that pathetic sperm donor ever wants reconciliation then he would have to recognize he's an abuser, accept he deserves those charges, get himself into anger management, apologize to my sister and me and make permanent changes. He would obviously have to do that on his own account without anyone insisting and it would have to be sincere. Until then, he's at nonexistent level to us. But nope, it's all about himself only.
My mother could've reported him any time. She had supportive family and friends. There was no excuse. If my husband were abusing our son, I would protect my child at all cost. Over my dead body would I let anyone abuse my son. That's how a protective parent should be.
Well said , cannot add to that.