Do you think Parents’ impact your life and and impact how you react and feel?

[Finchie40]

I know losing my Mom last year took a huge toll on me and even though i feel like I am ok and understand we will all eventually die , a huge part of me isn’t ok , I try to keep moving forward the best I can , but at times I lose control over myself and feel angry and sad and depressed and lonely , knowing I can never talk to my Mom like before. I tried through the years to be close to my Dad , but I realized he really doesn’t want much to do with me He says he loves me but he loves my other brother more I call my brother the Golden Child , cuz he gives my brother more time and attention to the point I feel like I don’t really have a Dad , I don’t hate my Dad but I just know he is a very selfish person when it comes to certain things and him and I don’t really see eye to eye on a lot of things , we can talk and have ok conversations but they don’t last very long , so I just accept it for what it is , I have butt heads with my father plenty of times , Through the years friends and exes have made comments about how selfish my father is and I tend to agree with them that he is a very selfish person that only really cares about himself but I am grateful of my father in ways by him supporting me and my brothers and giving us nice things , I know money doesn’t buy happiness but it’s the cards I was dealt with and just learned to accept. When I do talk to my Dad for the short period of time , I been starting to lose Control of myself when all my emotions his me at one time and I shit down and get angry and sad , sometimes I will drink alcohol to calm my nerves and that’s always a 50/50 chance on whether it helps me or not , I have tried seeking counseling to help myself get back on track but that doesn’t seem to be working as well, I constantly hear from others that parents play a huge impact on our lives What do you think?

[jennifer_bloom]

I recommend meditation because the goal is not to cancel your emotions, the goal is to uncover and release the pain so you can heal. This might also involve prayer or using some kind of coping tool such as a pet cat or dog, to help you handle the pain of acknowledging your buried hurts. I was raised by emotionally abusive parents and part of my healing process was releasing the buried trauma so I could let it go and recover. It was a gradual process but without the healing, I would not have been able to complete my university degree or work at any job all and I would have had zero friends too. Healing improves your quality of life and should be attempted even if it is hard. Don’t drink alcohol. It adds no value to your situation.

[chrissykerdock]

unfortunately parents impact your life... it's how you were raised they were your memories... they affected your mind i suppose... they could've praised you or they could've found your faults and mention them all the time... you need to calm down i could always tell you were a super hyper guy.

[Finchie40]

Yea my mind is on hyper overload to the point I don’t really know what direction to turn , I keep pushing myself to move forward but lately it hasn’t been easy to do , I been focusing on myself and focusing on work to keep myself
Occupied and try to act like everything is ok but eventually I explode and lose control over myself , I feel I want happiness but grasping happiness hasn’t been easy to come by lately

[chrissykerdock]

you really need to relax sweetheart... do you like to float in your pool? that's one way to relax... i guess easier said than done.

[Finchie40]

I do enjoy swimming in my pool , I been doing it a lot lately when I get home from work , when the weather is nice of course , thank you for the support 😋

[chrissykerdock]

your welcome finchie!

[exitseven]

My parents divorced when I was in high school. They never really had a loving relationship. I only saw them kiss once. Not really knowing what a loving relationship was like sort of made it hard for me to have my own relationships. I was sort of a loner and really did not get too involved with anyone. I just thought that was how it worked

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Anonymous]

In the past they did, not anymore.

My mom was a bit too controlling at some point. She wouldn’t let me go to school without wearing what she wanted me to wear.

She liked to dress me up in beautiful dresses and pretty skirts, she said she wanted me to look special everyday, I didn’t like it, I was an introvert and the way she dressed me everybody looked at me, boys threw their pencils under my desk to have a look at my legs.

I felt uncomfortable and I always argued about this with her, the result was I was going to school with the clothes I picked and she was angry at me and told me horrible things or I was wearing whatever she wanted and I was very uncomfortable whole day at school.

If I didn’t do as she told me, she liked to slap me, spit on me or call me a “slut”, I wasn’t a slut, I hadn’t even kissed a boy.

Then one day when I was 15, he slapped me again, I caught her hand and told her “Don’t you dare do that again, or I promise you’ll regret.”

She never did it anymore.

She grew out of her depression that made her act abusive and she turned into her better version.

[Finchie40]

I’m sorry to hear you went through that with your Mom , that had to be a messed up experience, and sadly most kids don’t really realize how much their parents impact them until later in life or when you meet other friend’s parents and you hear your friends’ saying my orents’s don’t do that. Most parent’s don’t realize how much they are impacting their children either , it’s something we aren’t really taught growing up , just like we aren’t really taught how to be in relationships etc.. As for me and my brother’s we were raised y an alcoholic abusive father , that drank everyday , we never knew if he was going to be nice or mean and abusive to us , we just took it as it was , Sadly my oldest brother got impacted and abused the most from my father compared to my other brother and I , I am the youngest so I didn’t experience has much as my other brother’s did cuz my father was starting to calm down off the drinking but he didn’t stop completely , I have a lot of resentment towards my father from the way he treated my Mom and my brother’s and I , And I blame my father for a lot of the damage he done to our family from his drinking , My oldest brother past away last year at the age of 50 and my mom passed away 3 months after him , My oldest brother was heavy into drugs but crazy to say he also a heart of gold , as for my Mom passing away , I feel her heart was shattered knowing she lost one of her son’s , So losing my mom and brother so close together impacted me big time , I honestly point fingers at my father for being a selfish piece of shit that choose booze over his family. Crazy to say but part of me wishes my father passed away first , I feel my Mom and brother would still be alive and feel I would of have my Mom a life better than what she had , My mom was controlled by my father to a point I feel she mainly enabled it for us kids , Now my father is living with my other brother and I tell my brother all the time to get my Dad out of his house ,

[Finchie40]

My brother feels he is entitled to take care of my Dad and I feel otherwise , Mainly because my middle brother was always the Golden child , for some reason my Dad accepted him over my other brother and I , Through the years I tried keeping the peace with my Dad but it’s hard for me to do , Cuz I have so much anger and resentment towards him , To the point me trying to be nice to him is not easy to do , I tried through the years to be grateful to my father cuz he did provide and support us and gave us nice things , but just goes to show Money doesn’t bring happiness

[kylee2437]

Absolutely. That’s why it’s so important for a parent to be the best parent they can be because they really do affect everything about us. Think about it, they are literally our voices for a good 5-17 years depending