Me and my partner are together for more than 5 years. He is soon 30 and wants kids. I’m 25, working full time and studying for masters degree and not in a place for kids.
I keep delaying it. At the beginning I said no because of university. Then I said that I need stability and our own place. Now I’m saying that we must get married first and I must finish my masters. in reality I don’t really care about marriage. I can always find a reason why NOT now.
My friends are getting pregnant, married and etc. And it makes me anxious. I don’t even know if it’s possible to me to have kids (big infertility issue in a family). I talked to my doctor and she pointed risk factors basically said that in order for me to have a kid - I must not wait till 30. But I’m not even sure I want them.
I believe it’s a dealbreaker for my boyfriend. And I’m scared that deep down I don’t want kids but I’m willing to have them some day to make him happy. And that is wrong. We had the talk and he knows everything. It even went that far that I said that it’s not fair for him and I will understand if he wants to leave. He stayed.
My clock is ticking.
ohh and to those that will say “don’t worry you can always adopt”. No, it’s pretty much impossible to adopt where I’m from.
