I’m going through bad depression and talked to my mom and she turned herself into the victim and asked me what hasn’t she done for me already?

[Anonymous]

Basically invalidates my feelings when I’m going through something horrible and she called me emotionally abusive.
I asked her if I make her feel so bad why does she want me in her life?

[DreamCrescent]

I'm sorry you're going through this, love. I know it is hard to believe from where you are right now, but it gets better

Your mom is having a typical reaction of low emotional intelligence. People without emotional intelligence can relate only with their own feelings and cannot empathize when someone else is going through it. she's not trying to hurt you, but she isn't the presence you need at this phase in your life.

when you're better, you'll find your relationship with your mom is just fine for who she is.

For now, find a friend, colleague, neighbor, stranger.. talk to someone even if you're not making sense. Let it out

you can talk to me. I've been where you are

[Asker]

I really don’t know how to move forward is the thing. I am in a bad financial rut and she’s helped me for a while while I started my business. And I just don’t feel like there’s any other route. I brought this up to some of my partnered friends and they told me to get a boyfriend 😒 so basically no one in my life is really sympathetic.

[DreamCrescent]

well you can't just "get a boyfriend" can you? they're not something you pick up at the grocery store... with time, you'll connect with someone. you partnered friends, just wow

All I can say is step back from the bigger picture. it is overwhelming you and fueling your depression. Take it one day at a time. Focus on the doable things, one by one, tackle those. get organized and will yourself to be strong

it's not easy... but it'll be worth it

[Asker]

I can’t pay my rent next week and I’m behind on a payment to a vendor who helped me get a client.

[Asker]

And I’m just tired of how everyone is. I am just not really excited about anything.

[Cutegirl06]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this! My mom listens to me. I don't understand how you are being emotionally abusive to her through?

[Asker]

I don’t know I just told her I’m not sure how to move forward in my life and I’m stuck and she was like “well what are you going to do?” And I couldn’t give her a definitive answer. Anyway she made herself out to be the victim and then hung up and told me I’m abusive and she started to cry.
I’m genuinely suffering. I can’t ge through to her

[Cutegirl06]

I'm sorry 😞 Is there anyone else you can talk with about what you're going through?

[Asker]

Yeah I have people who care about me. I just have isolated myself so much the past few months for my business. I’m an entrepreneur.

[Cutegirl06]

You should talk to the people that do care about you.

[Asker]

I don’t think any of them would really want to listen.

[Asker]

I feel so selfish for asking for help.

[Cutegirl06]

I know what you mean by feeling selfish about asking for help. I was like that just 2 or 3 years ago I felt like nobody really cared about what I went through and I also blamed myself for it. I thought my mom and dad wouldn't want to listen to me too, but when I finally talked with them they were so glad I told them about what was going on. Try reaching out to them. If they care about you they'll listen.

[Asker]

My mom yelled at me and shifted herself as the victim. And hung up on me. My stepdad also didn’t answer my text and never has when I need help.

[Cutegirl06]

What about friends?

[Asker]

They’re going to think I’m negative. Or I’m worried they’ll ask if I have someone here with me sort of thing.

[bededazzle]

maybe your mom is going to something too. it sounds like a bad mix. is it possible to get a little space?

[slatyb]

Sorry, you'll have to find support from someone else.

[Anonymous]

That's really bad. Speak to a therapist

[ColHathi]

That sucks :(