I had a one night stand about a month ago with a guy I had met that day. I know, huge mistake. We were drinking and he came over with my friends. I thought he pulled out, but thinking back I don’t know if he did in time every time. Either way, I just found out a week ago that I’m pregnant. I know it’s his as I haven’t had sex for about 8 months before and haven’t since. He lives in another state and left a week after that night, and we haven’t talked since.
I’m already a single parent to a kid whose father is not in the picture at all. I can’t risk it happening again, so this past week I’ve been debating whether to give the baby up for adoption or to send it to live with its dad. He lives across the country and comes here a few times a year. Abortion has crossed my mind but I don’t think I could live with the guilt.
The guy is the cousin of my friend’s friend that was over, so we got in touch with him and told him to tell his cousin. I just got off the phone with him and he took the news pretty well, as in wants to be involved. However he doesn’t want it to be adopted and said he would rather take it but doesn’t know how to make it work. I said men do this kind of thing to women all the time and they make it work, daycare, babysitters, etc.
I do not want this child. He said maybe one of us can move to the other and raise the baby together. I’m glad he’s being mature about it and wanting to step up, but I don’t want I uproot mine and my daughter’s life to move. I also don’t want to be with him. He can move here if he wants, but he will be the primary caretaker of this baby, and we will have minimal contact. I’m not opposed to seeing my kid, and I’m not saying my feelings won’t change over time to opening up to being more involved. He’s making me feel bad about giving up the baby and honestly if it’s going to be so hard to agree I’d rather find a more capable family to adopt it. Should I make him take it? Or try to work something else out?
I’m already a single parent to a kid whose father is not in the picture at all. I can’t risk it happening again, so this past week I’ve been debating whether to give the baby up for adoption or to send it to live with its dad. He lives across the country and comes here a few times a year. Abortion has crossed my mind but I don’t think I could live with the guilt.
The guy is the cousin of my friend’s friend that was over, so we got in touch with him and told him to tell his cousin. I just got off the phone with him and he took the news pretty well, as in wants to be involved. However he doesn’t want it to be adopted and said he would rather take it but doesn’t know how to make it work. I said men do this kind of thing to women all the time and they make it work, daycare, babysitters, etc.
I do not want this child. He said maybe one of us can move to the other and raise the baby together. I’m glad he’s being mature about it and wanting to step up, but I don’t want I uproot mine and my daughter’s life to move. I also don’t want to be with him. He can move here if he wants, but he will be the primary caretaker of this baby, and we will have minimal contact. I’m not opposed to seeing my kid, and I’m not saying my feelings won’t change over time to opening up to being more involved. He’s making me feel bad about giving up the baby and honestly if it’s going to be so hard to agree I’d rather find a more capable family to adopt it. Should I make him take it? Or try to work something else out?
Updates
4 mo
Not a lot of answers but I wanted to update anyway. He wasn’t surprised I ended up pregnant and kind of admitted to coming inside me, said it was an accident and he pulled out during? I’m pissed that he didn’t tell me that, but I kind of had a suspicion that’s what happened. Any chance of raising this baby together like he wants to is out the window. He doesn’t want it to be adopted so I told him he HAS to take it, since he caused it and didn’t give me a heads up. He kind of agreed and that’s it
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I'm glad you've decided to keep the baby alive. A third option to consider is surrendering the baby to a safe haven box after it's born. You can adopt the baby out without contact, questions or paperwork.
Alternatively I would continue discussing plans for the man adopting the child
She doesn't want the kid. I grew up in care for a bit and know loads of people who did. It is awful and there are too many kids there!
A better option would have been an abortion. Because now there is another unwanted child in the world.
@butterly248 seriously thats your argument? Dont fix a broken system just murder the unborn.
It's not as easy as that unfortunately and abortion isn't murder
@butterly248 abortion is murder
Human life = human rights
A human fetus can experience pain just as you and I. Plus she doesn't want an abortion, are you going to tell me she has no choice
I can't tell if she is 8 months pregnant or not. And I'm not forcing her to do anything
I feel so bad for this poor baby. He has two strikes against him already.
Abort
I think she is 8 months pregnant. Abortion will be dangerous unfortunately