Should I end the friendship with my friend who told me his father died but is kind of glad she’s dead not having to take care of her anymore?

[Anonymous]

So one of my best friend’s father passed away last week and he’s very devastated. He has been is caregiver for a few years since he got diagnosed with pancreatic stage 4 cancer and it became terminal. He was there for him every day of the week until his last breath. He texted us in the group home that his dad has pass and we we’re sending our condolences to him, his brother and family. Then what triggered me was that he private messaged me and said that he is kind of glad his father died. He also said he and his father is at peace and so is his family and being a caregiver is a shit load of work and dealing with his dads difficulties. I wouldn’t believe what he said. I told him I was shocked. He said that he’s my best friend and he’s more comfortable telling me than the others and plus he is comfortable being brutally honest and saying ugly things to me. He is being honest. I get we’re best friends but that was too brutal. I should probably end the friendship after I attend the memorial this weekend. Should I?

Updates

3 mo

Sorry I meant to say “he’s”

[Lliam]

The guy was right there for his father for years. He put his life on hold to care for him. That is love, respect, commitment and self sacrifice. He didn't shirk.

Can you imagine caring for someone for years, especially as they gradually deteriorate and then become helpless near the end? Clean their poop and pee, bathe them, feed them, comfort them, care for every one of their needs.

On top of that, the father was suffering tremendously at the end.

My family went through that with my mom when she was dying from cancer. My sister, who is a nurse, was the main caregiver. It was hard.

We cared for her at home because she didn't want to die in an institution. She wanted to be in her home surrounded by her family.

None of us wanted her to die but, in the end, it was a relief when she finally passed because she was no longer suffering.

And although we loved her deeply and were completely distraught when her illness became terminal and she finally died after a year of agony, it would be dishonest to say that it wasn't a relief to not have to care for her every need when she was bed ridden, suffering, half comatose and dying. In fact, going through that is awful, but you do it out of love. You would do anything for that loved one.

I find myself having trouble explaining it. I don't know if you can understand or imagine. I hope you never have to go through it.

I'm trying to say that I understand what your friend meant. He was hoping that you would understand.

[Asker]

I get what you’re saying but how can he said he’s glad his father died? That’s so horrible to say and I can’t believe him. I mean I understand he is glad he doesn’t have to go through it but come on. People just go back to their own lives and they don’t carw

[Anonymous]

You said "she" and "her" which suggests this was not a typo but a phony question that was sloppily edited.

[Asker]

I meant to say his and him. Don’t insult me. I just forgot.

[Asker]

This is not a roasting season. You suck

[RoseySarah]

Honestly bring a care giver is so much caring work some of him his is relaxed and happy. The other part is sad hurting.

Seeing your dad this in pain useless dying man takes a huge toll mentally and he is glad that it's over.

Is he sad yes very but some is relaxed

Grief also afcts poeple differently that moment he might not have been sad... As he was talking with you a friend

[Asker]

We’ll I understand that he’s relieved that his dad isn’t suffering anymore but he doesn’t have said he’s glad that he’s dead and it’s a relief he doesn’t have to do all that anymore and he’s sad at the same time. He only said that to me and not everyone else. He told me not to tell everyone else because they would not understand but he told me because he trusts me the most to be brutally blunt about his feelings and shocked that I lashed out but he rather be blunt than dishonest. He said his dads death is relief and he’s with Gods home now. He dad was only 59.

[RoseySarah]

Yeah he was way to brutally honest is he always like that?
I'd be tired of a friend who was so blunt

[Asker]

Most of the time but not like this

[RoseySarah]

If your not close you can just block him or slowly ghost him.

[Asker]

I’m very close friends. We’ve been friends since 3rd grade