What do you think of female egg freezing?

[marish01]

I'm 32, child free, husband free lol

I'd like to freeze my eggs and hire surrogate mothers.

I want to have at least 7 kids.

11 kids at most

Updates

3 mo

I want to have kids from my husband mostly through surrogacy.

[DJB72]

It's not the "guarantee" fertility clinics will try to tell you it is. At 32 most of the best ova have already been spent. Egg donors are required to be under 30 with at least one child in most places.

By all means freeze if you can but if you want 7 kids - even using surrogates - you'll be at least 40 when the last is born.

My wife and I had fertility issues and were 45 & 46 (I'm older) when our son was born using IVF. The problem is at 46 I was reasonably healthy. At 47 I got an injury that at 48 cost me my leg. It would have been difficult at any age. Now I'm almost 52 with a 5 year old son my health prevents me being able to play with the way I long to.

My advice - for what it's worth - is forget what you want from a husband and work on what you offer. Every lasting marriage I've ever known started that way - no exceptions. The right guy is likely closer than you realise. And so what if you "only" have 3 children? That's 2 more than I can have now. I wanted 5.

I wish you peace.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My mom had me at 21 and my brother at 24. My brother was much healthier of a child. I don’t think at 32, her chances of having healthy children is slim at all.

[DJB72]

Between 32 & 35 the odds of chromosomal issues like Down's Syndrome increase dramatically. From 0.01% to over 3% and it gets higher the older we get as humans.

Freezing eggs *can* be helpful, but it's far from a guarantee of having a child.

[marish01]

That's why I will plan 30 eggs. At least 7 of them will be viable

[DJB72]

We did that. Planned 30. Got 5. Eggs, not embryos. Your body will only release "ripe" eggs. Remember the hormones that ripen eggs in high levels can cause certain cancers so a reputable doctor will only give a certain amount.

I'm sorry if I sound negative. I'm not criticising you, just sharing my experience and the warnings we were given

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What warnings were you given? I am also curious, as I might do that, if I don’t meet anyone nice soon enough.

[DJB72]

The biggie is the possibility of chromosomal abnormalities - not only Down's - which can result in a range of development issues and some things like heart malformations that can drastically shorten expected life.

As you get older the hormonal injections to ripen the eggs are also associated with increased cancer rates, especially breast cancer.

Then there's the issue that frozen eggs are not frozen embryos and fertility is not guaranteed by freezing unfertilised ova. Of course, survival of a foetus isn't guaranteed after cryogenic freezing either, but it's a higher rate.

My son was IVF but two fertilised ovum were implanted. The second miscarried at 6 weeks and we had to wait another two weeks to see if he'd survived as he wasn't showing on the ultrasound. Most terrifying two weeks of my life. Thankfully there he was.

I'm not saying don't do it. Just be aware that even though it's helpful it's not a guaranteed success any more than sex five times a day for a month is without freezing eggs.

[loveslongnails]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but the success rate greatly depends on your age, and it's not cheap. I also know "why" you in particular want to do it, and we've had that discussion already.

A cursory look-up suggests a live birth rate of between 36%-39% if you're over 38, and right around 50% if you're under 38 years old. That rate goes up if you're in your late twenties or early thirties.

Who's going to raise and financially support your 7 to 11 kids?

[marish01]

Let's say I freeze my eggs at 35.
I don't think that's a bad age.
"I also know "why" you in particular want to do it, and we've had that discussion already"
I remember we talk about it but can't remember what reason I brought up for that plan of mine

[loveslongnails]

Really? Wow. You said you wanted a surrogate because you didn't want to ruin your appearance or go through all the pain and discomfort involved with pregnancy and birthing.

[marish01]

That is not what I'd say

[loveslongnails]

That IS what you said. Something like "why should I ruin my body" and so on. You sure did.

[marish01]

No way I would think that way.
My reason would be career and many kids.
I want to have many kids and have little time. So surrogacy is the great option for me.

[loveslongnails]

I'm not going to waste my time looking up what you said, but you CLEARLY made a point of not wanting to go through the physical pains or potential detriment to your girly figure from pregnancy. Yes, it was about vanity in part, and now it's about selective memory.

[marish01]

In my mind surrogacy has always been about saving time and having many kids.

[marish01]

I never said anytjing about pain either

[Kelly6]

@marish01 i would say go for it, but don’t wait longer to have kids.

By experience having kids even by surrogate will be hard because taking care of 7-11 kids is physically hard.

im pregnant with 4th baby, and will go for 2 more kids.

[marish01]

By natural impregnation?

[KrakenAttackin]

@Kelly6. "Go for it", way to create more fucked up kids.

[Anonymous]

you can still have kids at this age, no problem at all.

but it's the fact that you want THAT many kids. most people don't have that many kids. just seems like too much when you should have planned that before

[Miristheiss]

Idiotic.

If you want kids prioritize meeting a husband and live a life that will increase your odds of getting married. Don't sleep around and have your "hoe phase", don't put it off until you are 35 while you make work your priority.

If you wait until 35 and then start looking for a husband and kids you have drastically increased your odds you'll be childless.

Freezing your eggs is fool's gold. Lots of women end up having this fail because lots of the embryos don't survive and of the few that are left many often fail or have issues.

If women expect to wait and wait and wait... thinking biology will cooperate with them and they can have a healthy, successful pregnancy at age 40-45 many will end up heartbroken.

If you follow the feminist utopia and free sex, career is the end all be all in life and you can get pregnant just as easily at 40 as you can 22 then reap the rewards of following that family hating propaganda.

[marish01]

I'm a virgin. So sleeping around is a big no for me

[KrakenAttackin]

@Miristheiss. Yes. These delusional women all trying work-arounds for a basic human family. This feminist disease makes me want to puke.

[CozyCoffin]

A typical surrogacy for one surrogate can have costs that range from $100,000 to upwards of $200,000. The actual cost of your journey will depend on your personal circumstances, whether or not you choose to work with a surrogacy agency, and whether or not you need to create embryos.

Are you that rich to make seven or more kids that way or do you think it's going to be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows ala OCTOMOM?

Is there any reason you can't go the traditional route?

I'd advise doing that.

[SixFootSexy]

Here's your future if you think freezing your eggs is the answer, even as a virgin:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/_WeRQBNCwvw

Also, the eggs don't always work after being thawed.

Imperfect women in an imperfect world, waiting for the perfect man.

[marish01]

That's why doctors recomment 30-40 eggs

[Berethor]

I believe that egg freezing and hiring surrogate mothers is a desperate move, but I can see why you getting desperate at your age, also child free is not having kids by choice, not liking them, being single does not mean not having kids by choice.

[strateguy632]

very risky, at birth they might claim "my baby" and keep, not give despite your ova, and despite payment. also risk if pay, in a place where not permitted to pay.

in theory if a person hired 7 surrogates they could have 7 in 40 weeks. ess than a year all 7. but that is much to take care of, at same time, like seven infants age 5 month old same time. so need to hire some nannies to help.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It makes a lot of sense to me today along with IVF for people who can afford it since women usually have so much cut out if they're pursuing higher education and careers. The one thing I'd caution though is that the success rates aren't the highest to my understanding and the costs are quite large.

[Redstang88]

Thoughts? If you’re too old to have kids on your own, you probably shouldn’t raise them after somebody else does the hard part. Especially not 7 of them. That would likely put you into your 60s before the last are adults

Also curious how you plan to afford 7+ surrogates and raising that army afterwards?

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Depends on circumstances, if you are doing it because your standards are too high and the man you want doesn't want you - and it becomes a last ditch effort to have a kid when you're old and grey; I would look down on your choice seeing it as a selfish act.

[AmeerX]

Marry me Marish 😊?

You don't have to go and do something like that if we are married in holy matrimony.

And for God's sake please stop people like you are the reason for lack of marriages and more of these stupid surrogacy stories and depression that comes with it.

[AmeerX]

No need for surrogacy when you are still young.

[AviatorTom]

You can do what you want. But since you asked for my opinion... I prefer everything natural. Some of the things that modern medicine has done are questionable... it would be interesting to see what people 200 years think of that.

[Apple1996]

Go for it if you have the money to do so. Egg freezing and surrogates can be expensive

[ChicoFromThe305]

I mean... its definitely an option right, as a man that doesn't lose his ability to reproduce, I'm no one to judge on such options, hope it works out.

[sheikalana]

Just a disclaimer that freezing your eggs doesn’t guarantee that they’ll still be good the time you decide to use them.

[marish01]

How so?

[sheikalana]

You can do some research about it on YT or google. I’m no expert but I know a case where a couple froze their eggs and years later the eggs were no longer viable. Think about it before you do it as it’s a great expense to freeze your eggs.

[OlderAndWiser]

Every child deserves to have a mother AND a father. If you love your unborn children, wait until you are married.

[slatyb]

Seven children? It's rather expensive to support seven children.

[slatyb]

Also hiring a surrogate mother is quite expensive.

[marish01]

I know. I have made read lots of articles.
Egg freezing, surrogacy raising many kids all cost too much money.

[NamerOfStars]

So you want to have kids when you're older and have less energy to keep up with them? That doesn't make much sense.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like a good idea to freeze your eggs, but I think you're going to find 7 an unrealistically high number.

[Awantika03]

You are 32 and 11 kids

If we count one year for one kid you will turn 43 and even not possible to get pregnant🤰 after birt every year, so it hard😂

[marish01]

That's why I consider several surrogate mothers lol

[FreyaRed]

With 32 it's time when you want kids.

[marish01]

I've always wanted kids

[FreyaRed]

Then get some. Just open the window and whistle on first guy you see and shout 'hey you, I wanna a child and you won't paid child support', I suppose you want find not just one guy waiting on your doorstep but there will wait more.

[HighValue]

They usually do it when it is already too late. The eggs should be frozen in their mid 20s.

[HighValue]

I am curious why you haven't focused on getting a good partner earlier in life when you were younger?