I hung out with them at first is because they just happened to be in a friend group with some other friends - the other friends were okay, but this friend in particular is an extremely overweight bookworm, with the hygiene habits of a hobo, who has no ambitions or goals for their life - not even to lose the weight that's clearly preventing them from living a good life.
The other day I hung out with her, and it felt very depressing for me - The minute I showed up to the hangout I wanted to leave. Being a usually active person, my ideal hangout would be walking around a park or going to a skate park but because of my friend's weight, we couldn't do that so instead we stayed inside all day eating food and watching movies.
This isn't a bad thing, but my friend ate constantly during the whole ordeal and tried to pressure me to do the same - I basically became a couch potato/femcel for five hours and I hated every minute of it because it felt as if my life was worthless and meaningless.
I imagined myself slowly gaining 200 plus pounds and turning into my friend and it almost made me cry on the way home. I decided to hang out with them just because of the sheer loneliness I felt - but being in their presence made me feel even worse (like a loser) and I think I would actually be suicidal if my life devolved into her's.
I have real goals for my life that I want to pursue; being in a different "clique" with some new friends, getting a boyfriend, losing weight, getting active/social again, getting a good job, etc. - and I feel like my friend is just holding me back/ sabotaging me in my goals/ using my concern for her and her life as a way to guilt trip me into wasting time with her.
It's not only all these things above but the fact that she always seems to have a subtle put downs waiting for me about my goals or projects that I'm working on and why they will ultimately fail - she is so negative and toxic to be around and I'm just ready to leave for good this time.
