Why did they disappear and then reappear in my life, after long periods of time had passed of no contact?

[Anonymous]

There’s this woman I’ll call Tina and a man I’ll call Max. Max expressed an interest in me that he said he couldn’t act on, disappeared and then returned 3 years later, wanting to be Facebook friends. Tina expressed an interest in being casual friends/acquaintances and then disappeared and then sent me a Facebook friend request, 6 months later. Neither of them seems interested in catching up, but they both have Asperger’s Syndrome and both returned around the same time. They hardly say more than a few words to me at a time. Yet they returned. One, after my invitation to return if she desires my friendship. The other, after telling me he still loves me. I don’t get it. I’m happy they’re back and we’re getting along, it’s just not clear what they want.

Updates

+1 y

We all have Asperger’s syndrome and I don’t pick up on social cues.

[Oliverlogan263]

That is super weird about those two coming in and out of your life like that. People with Aspergers can be kinda inconsistent sometimes from what I've heard, but still it's odd behavior.

For the Tina girl, maybe she originally wanted to be friends but then got overwhelmed by social stuff and needed a break? Then after some time away she felt ready to try connecting again, even if just online for now. Could be she likes having you around but finds actually interacting tough.

As for Max saying he loves you but then disappeared, that dudes got issues. Sounds like he gets intense feelings but then runs away when it gets real. Coming back to "just be friends" on Facebook seems like he can't fully commit but still wants to keep an eye on you or something. Maybe he still has feelings but doesn't know how to handle them.

Either way I wouldn't read too much into it. Seems like they both struggle with relationships. Maybe keep them as acquaintances online if you want, but I wouldn't expect much real connection until they get their stuff figured out more. Might save yourself some stress that way. Just do your thing and if they start acting flaky again you know where you stand, ya know? Stay strong mama!

[Summeroflove]

People are weird. Some people I guess remember you or wonder what it could be like. The Asperger’s coukd be playing a major role a lot of them don’t display normal social behavior.


But it’s just best to reach out and ask them why they’re doing it. Because it’s hard to say.