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2 mo
If you were dating someone who had a kid, at what stage would you refer to that kid as your kid/“my kid”? (Page 2)
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That sounds like a lot of drama. This guy must be really hot for you to want to be with him after all he put you through and will put you through again. He's ready for a child? It sounds like he needs some growing up himself.
But I will answer your question. It would be a combination of how serious the relationship is going and up to the child/children how comfortable they are with me and how they view me. I would want to see them initiate those feelings.
I dont want to be back with him
I would never refer to a child who is not my biological or adopted child as "my kid." That is a really good way to get stuck with child support for a child that is not yours.
I know that sounds odd, but the law here in California where I live is that if you hold yourself out to be the child's father then when it comes to child support to be paid, you are very likely to be deemed the father for financial purposes.
Oh wooow
To me, and I married a girl with two kids, they are a package deal so when we become exclusive then we have that talk with the kids about be not being their father but being their dad…. The kids have to be okay with it too since it is definitely about them…
Thats sweet
It would depend on the kid's age. If (s) he is 10+, or has a living father who has shared custody, it's a lot less likely I'd see them as my kid. Younger, and my wife has primary custody, it's more likely that I would see them as my kid since I had more of a hand in raising them.
Makes sense
this may make me sound weird but before i would refer to any kid as my kid.
i would need to make sure the kid would consider me as their dad first & refer to me as dad.
maybe its because i lost my dad 8 years ago. i think having a kid call me by first name would just be a killer.
No that's a a good opinion
@DizzyDesii thank you
No, I've dated women who have kids from other guys, I have my own kids. There's a sharp distinction between the two. If it's my kids, then they're my kids. If they're her kids, they'll never be my kids.
I see
With respects to all involved; this a mopey situation and a very draining matter. Id not get envolved with a guy that isn’t in check with what he wants for himself. It’s never a woman’s problem to be dragged around by a guy that always needs out of a relationship because he wants to be in a new one.
Nope!
maybe only, if I had actually raised that young child as my own... which would mean I would stay with them for years and years to come... as an actual family... maybe
He hs been raising the kid for about 3-4 years. He feels like he does more than the kids dad who basically lives next door
well, in a way... that's what a true father does, being there, raising them right and loving them with true care
But he doesn't even to be with the mom. He says he stayed for the kid because she can't afford to support her child rn. So i feel if he did leave her, he's gonna still consider him “my kid”
well parents do that... they care for the children, because children need care
just like many divorced couples that are no longer together but both will do great, for their children
he's not his dad though
sometimes... children do grow in your heart
rather than from the biological seeds and egg... you know? lol...
I would have never dated anyone with a kid.
I was going to have MY OWN kids with my own woman, not inherit some other man's kids with some woman whose already gotten pregnant with someone else.
F that.
Never while dating…. After marriage it would be up to the mom. For me to marry her that’s me saying I’m ready to take on the responsibility as a husband and a father to that child.
Why are you still paying attention to anything your ex says or does? Is he the last single man on your planet?
he's not single and neither am i. he's just trying to get back together
this made me squirm way too much lmfao im gettin the feeling there's other stories you got like this of him
Like what? Thats basically it
i meant like stories of him being weird when you dated
He was good until the last few months. He was prob the best boyfriend i ever had until he thought i was pregnant
Sounds like a prince among men...
You dodged the bullet once. Maybe consider relocating as a way of driving the message home? 🤦
I def want to move
If I didn't father the kid, it's never going to be my kid. It's really messed up to take some man's kid from them.
Yeah
I wouldn't I don't date people with kids. But for the sake of the question probably marriage because at that point I would be taking responsibility for the kid (s) in question.
Never. And not because I don't care for the kid or anything like that. It's because unless there is a damn good reason to, I refuse to replace that childs father.
Thats a good reason. Much respect
Thank you!
I wouldn't get with a woman that has a kid. She was with someone else and let them knock her up get with them.
Engagement probably would be the start of it, but really not fully until marriage.
Sounds good
I've never been in that situation, but I would not call then my kid unless I adopted them.
Yea like adopt or marry the parent
@DizzyDesii Only adopt. Marrying the parent doesn't entitle me to call them "my kid".
Never, I'd leave them when I found out they had a kid
Lol okay