Do you think it's appropriate to bring a baby/toddler to a funeral?

Question

One of my grandmother's died when I was two, so I don't have any memories of her or her passing. Apparently, I didn't go to her funeral because my dad didn't want me to go. I understand his reasons for not wanting me there because I was a hyper, rambunctious child and it probably would've been even more of a headache for my mom if I had been there. But I also understand that my mom wanted me there because it was her mom and I was one of her only grandchildren.

What do you think? Do you care if small children attend a funeral or not?

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

I don't think young children should go to funerals. But I don't think they should be banned either.

Someone that age wouldn't know what was going on anyway. They would catch the solemn mood, but they would not really understand the funeral.

Unless parents really can't find anyone to watch the children, I don't think they should bring them. I think this is for the children as much or more than because they might cause a disturbance. I just don't see anything positive for the child by going to a funeral.

The main reasons adults go to funerals are to show respect for the deceased, and to show support and comfort for the family of the deceased. For example the last funeral I went to is someone I had known him and his entire family my entire life. It was out of respect for them that I went. It was out of respect for the guy who died, that he did not die alone and unforgotten.

When you have questions about this type of thing, you can call a funeral home and ask. That's what they are there for, so never hesitate to call them. You could also ask clergy and get just as good of an answer since they deal with it all the time.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

A baby might cry but there are other things of more importance. I rather like the symbolism of the new generation being part of the farewell of the oldest generation

If the baby becomes upset just put some distance in..

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

Depends on how disruptive they can be. Some kids just can't be still, or quiet during solemn occasions. And unfortunately, those who have never had kids don't seem to know that not every child is going to be totally still during a service. But I'm talking young kids who wouldn't even remember the service. Those should be held elsewhere until after the service is older. However, if they can understand what it is all about then they can most likely also behave, so there is no reason for them to miss out on saying goodbye. And just like in a church service, if they are being disruptive, they should be taken out by their parent so as not to disturb those who are paying their last respects. NOW! - if it were a celebration of life with music, singing, and all that, like in some black funerals, let them add to the celebration with laughing, singing, OR CRYING. 👍🏼🥰

dustybiker2 · Accepted Answer

Funeral homes often have side rooms for children. They are filled with distractions. I think it depends on the family, and the child.

if it's a baby who is teething or suffering from colic and the parents know will child be a distraction.. I think that is inappropriate. Find a fitting sitter or put your child first.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

it depends on the specific situation. I wouldn't take a small child if it's a huge event with a lot of people, unknown smells, and noises... kids are sensitive and feel insecure in new situations and show it with cries...

if it's a small family event, I don't think it would be any problem

Friendlybro79 · Answer

It depends on what the family of the deceased wants. If they don't want kids or don't mind kids coming it's up to them. Nothing is more distracting in a wake someone giving a speech or a priest trying to talk and a baby is non stop crying or kids that can't behave.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I think it is outright wrong to take a toddler to a funeral. I mean I do understand why people may want them there, but it isn't a joyous occasion where you can have them running around laughing and joking, when there are mourners grieving.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

As long as they are crying a lot, it seems an appropriate place. Just none of those fun-loving toddlers with no sense of gravitas.

dolemite58 · Answer

I think it depends on how a kid behaves, if u were particularly rowdy I can understand why your dad wouldn’t want you there being loud at the ceremony. My grandma passed away when I was 7 and I remember going to the cemetery and luncheon after but my mom didn’t let the youngest siblings go to the open casket cuz she didn’t think little kids should have to see that. I saw my grandma in the hospital a few weeks before she passed though so that was my last memory of her.

Apple1996 · Answer

It's fine as long as the kid behaves well in public. My two year old is calm af so he would just sit there quietly. I get not all kids are like that tho

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Well I mean, sometimes funerals are short notice... what are you going to do with the baby. I think it's perfectly acceptable but if the baby makes a lot of noise just step out the way parents do at a lot of places

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Personally I wouldn't take them, but I get the point of view.  For me, seeing everyone iupset would be upsetting for young kids who didn't understand fully what was happening

DizzyDesii · Answer

They bring em on planes, to weddings, etc. Its not surprising. The baby will be crying along with the rest

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Some parents simply cannot avoid taking their child or children, especially if they can't get a baby-sitter.

Staximus · Answer

A funeral is serious business. You can't have little kids crying and running around when people are speaking and stuff. This is a good time for a babysitter. If a babysitter is not an option, I guess the babies have to be there.

AaronKrieger · Answer

That actually is a good question, which I do not have an answer for 😂

DJB72 · Answer

I don't mind. Kids need to know death is part of Life. Saying goodbye is important.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I don't mind babies/toddlers being at funerals.

TallAnon · Answer

If you can't find a sitter, you'll likely still want to attend, so it should be ok. Not ideal, but understandable.

Wiredone · Answer

Sometimes you don't have a choice but to bring them.

OtterMan68 · Answer

if you don't provide child care, expect kids

midnightmoon05 · Answer

In our tradition. No.  until about 3-4 years old. Same with hospitals

msc545 · Answer

No. Potentially very psychologically harmful.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, they should be allowed to go to the funeral of a loved one, even if they are too young to remember. it is life (and death).

Do you think it's appropriate to bring a baby/toddler to a funeral?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I don't mind babies/toddlers being at funerals.

Do you think it's appropriate to bring a baby/toddler to a funeral?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I don't mind babies/toddlers being at funerals.

We're glad to see you liked this post.