Why am I always treated like this at family gatherings?

[Anonymous]

every time that my mom hosts a dinner for holidays with my family, i’m treated like i basically don’t even exist. my mother basically just glorifies my older brother & sister and then completely ignores my existence. every time i open my mouth and even try to say something im constantly talked over or ignored, my mother literally looks at me like im a disappointment every time i even try to say anything. before everyone comes over my mom says to me “don’t say anything that will embarrass me.” like what? i’ve never said anything to embarrass her.

my boyfriend notices that im treated this way too. i’m treated so much differently than everyone else and i don’t even know why. i don’t know what i did to be so hated.

[Mr_twoface]

Sometimes one’s actions doesn’t go inline with the elders especially your parents. If your mum recalls her own youth time and see how you are today, she may feel your immature and hence picks on you. If your elder siblings are more mature or expresses positively towards her and helpful towards the extended family, it may seem your immature and need to grow up. It’s not easy to see the bigger picture nor understand why you are being “targeted”. Maybe she is not found about how you hang with your boyfriend around all adults or how you behave in front of them. For you it may be normal but not for everyone.

Only way out of it, is to communicate with her. Once everyone has gone, go to her room and ask her to have one to one, and ask her and share how you feel. Do not argue, try to imply your right or hear your side of the story, just listen to it all… take it onboard and leave. Reflect upon it and once you wake up the next day, then decide how you would want to address it. Can you work on some of the things? Is she right? If she’s wrong, how can you politely address it to her? …

[TommyMountainFigure]

Didn't you ask this the other day? If so, I said take your boyfriend to the gathering, that way when you're ignored you can spend the evening talking to him!

[Daniela1982]

So, don't go is my opinion. You don't need that. If they ask why tell them the truth and don't sugarcoat it. They need to hear it. It might just change their behavior. But I wouldn't hold your breath.

[MsBubba]

I rather be treated like I don’t exist than keep asking me when I am going to get married.

[slatyb]

You're the scapegoat. Perhaps you have been more successful that the others and your family residents you for it. Consider getting counseling to talk through this.