Some say being a parent is a forever thing, what do you say? Would you kick your child out once they reach a certain age?
When you have a child you are a parent forever. You don't stop being a parent once your kid becomes an adult. I am not a parent and I most probably won't ever be, however I am pretty sure that is the way it is supposed to be.
If you bring a child onto this world or if you decide to adopt one you give an unspoken promise and that promise involves that you have the responsibility of being their parent for life and this is very important.
In my opinion people who are not able to do that, should not be parents.
Being a parent is a life-long commitment. I've witnessed my friend getting kicked out by her mother on her 18th birthday - at her party, at 12 am in front of everyone - because the mother wasn't legally required to care for her anymore (except with money), and the devastation and sadness that suddenly filled the room was horrific. I'd never do anything like that. Even now, with me close to 30, my mother is like "if something goes wrong, I'm not going anywhere, you can always come home". So no, just because of age I'd never do that to the child I will never have. If they would take everything for granted and act up, that'd be a different story, but I'd still offer some sort of support if they left my house.
You never stop being a parent. I just thought of that 90 y/o man who got a driving ticket bc he rushed his 70 y/o son to the hospital who was having a heart-attack or something.
There are pieces of trash in the world that would do this to their child. I would never even consider it. My boys know that they have a place to stay as long as I have a roof over my head. I do not charge them rent either.
Now, that is not to say I am going to let them do nothing. My oldest son was working part time, not trying to further himself. I made up a contract and made him sign it. It listed the things he had to do if he wanted to continue living under my roof. I knew he would be motivated by that. It turned out to be one of the best things I could have done. He straightened himself out, got a better job, and has been doing great since. He moved out on his about a year later.
Being a father isn't something I can do "up to age xxx". It's until I'm pronounced dead. If I've got the means or not I'll try to do the best for my son. I'd go hungry before I see him miss a meal.
Why wouldn't I? If you can imagine yourself kicking your child out then please, don't reproduce...
Opinion
41Opinion
no. that doesn't work anymore.
I think the job of a good parent is to make themself *obsolete*. In other words, to raise a child to know how to be an independent adult. That starts at birth and is a progressive work at each stage, based on the child's developmental abilities at any given stage of their growth. My family tends to live in multi-generational households and we like it that way. However, adults do not get a free ride. When you hit 18 you are either in school full time (and usually working part time, too), working full time, or seriously job hunting. You also contribute both financially to the household and do an equal amount of work around the home as any other adult family member. Adults in the family unit also have a say in how things function. Actually, children's and teen's thoughts/feelings are also at least taken into account in family decision making. Any adult family member who wants to live on their own is encouraged to do so and will always receive a level of support from their family, although not a lot financially in that case. The only time I know of that an adult family member was not allowed to stay living in the family home was when he was so contentious and verbally abusive that he was invited to find his own place. Even then, he still received the same level of support from the family as anyone else who chose to live on their own.
Depends on the following:
I lived at home for a few months about 10 years ago when I was saving money to buy my first home. I did things to help with my dad’s business in the meantime. It’s not like I was just being a directionless bum.
we have three houses and my parents would use to ask our relatives if they can stay in one of our house. my parents don't want it rented for sentimental reasons. my parents also work abroad and even as an adult they would worry if it's just me and my sister. it took a lot of convincing that it's ok if it's just me and my sister. so no i won't kick my children out. if there's something i would want them to learn i will just find another wsy
children knows what they are capable or not capable of. yoy see them as lazy but maybe they just have some issues. kicking them out jmo will not do any good and will lead them to do harmful stuff like doing drugs
@Xia1994 Becoming a parent, comes with the responsibility of doing your best to rear children that can stand on their own two feet, financially, socially, psychologically, and that starts the day you bring them home from the hospital. My parents would NEVER, and did NOT force me out when I was 18. How irresponsible would that be? Being 18 would only come with finishing High School, and how would that put that 'child' in a position of being able to support themselves?
My parents did their best to help me get through a small college, with a B. A degree, and some work experience that allowed me to compete for a job in the work place. I then moved out, and got my own place, and then moved to CA when I had work experience to survive and not be living on the street.
Being a parent is something for life. My parents could kick me out of the house if they wanted to, but they don't because they know I'm not able to take care of myself yet and still need to finish parenting me on things. But I do housework, do my own laundry, make my own lunch & snacks, wash my bedding, wash our bath towels, help with food prepping for dinner, and set the table. Sometimes I'll even put the food away after dinner when everyone is done, and it's cooled off. Just because I live at home doesn't mean I don't have any adult responsibilities to tend to. But back on topic, I think the parents who do just throw their adult children out there don't know what they're doing. And they can't be upset if their kids don't want to see them anymore or visit them. They made it obvious they don't want to be parents.
Fuckin hell, so like you all would be ok with a 40 year old freeloading off his 60 year old mother? My uncle was like that, until he became an addict and grandma had no choice but to tell him he couldn't come back after he went to jail. Now he lives in the street homeless, and will probably die there, but ultimately it's his choice. I can understand a parent helping out a child who's gone through a divorce or something traumatic in life, or a child living with their parents longer if they are studying for a profession, say a doctor for example, where they have to study many years, or even a parent and child living together after the child is far into adulthood if both are working and supporting the household. But expecting a parent to support a child for life? That's fucked up. I guess you could even call it parent abuse.
I am not going to kick them out.
I am going to raise them the way that they feel ready and willing to try an independent adult life by themselves and always know that they can rely on me, in case they need me.
I’ll always be there for them.
But I want them to learn the independence early on. So while I’d not kick them out, I’d encourage their independence early on.
No. Parenting never stops. I would allow them to live rent free until they are financially able to move out. While encouraging them to reach that goal in life. All I would ask is for them to help with house work. As they would have to in a place of their own/rental with flatmates.
Parenting doesn't stop at 18. Treating your kids like they're a burden is fucked up.
Yes I would if they were just sitting around and doing nothing , Not working , Not helping around the house etc. I would kick em out and tell them to find someone else to support you , because legally you aren’t my problem anymore only if they were a complete piece of shit bum
It is way too difficult to make it financially at 18 now, compared to say, 30 years ago. I think it is way too unrealistic to assume that someone can support themselves at 18 and to leave home. One case that I know of is an 18 year old being "kicked out", then his best friend's parents took him in. He applied to get into the military but it took a couple of months before he could leave. He was lucky to have been taken in.
No.
It is better to make them uncomfortable at home to the point where they want to leave to have freedom.
They all know coming back is an option, but growing up my mom treated me like I had become a tenant after 18 and I am grateful she did because it compelled me to want to leave and I in turn grew up. Had I stayed home I wouldn't have.
No, but I would expect them to work if they're not studying and contribute to the bills if they're working. I'd never kick them out, unless the situation at home was toxic for some reason... but even then, I'd help them as much as possible. I wouldn't leave my child in need, same with other members of my closest family.
I won't have to.
They will be preparing for self reliance from the day they reach school age and be biting at the bit to realize their independence and full potential by age of majority.
My sister was. My mother had laid out a rule based on past actions and she went away with a boy (my mother disliked) for four days just after turning 18. No warning. No call. Then she walked back in as if nothing had happened. She found my mother had packed her room. And was told to get out.
I now think it hurt my mother so badly she packed even if she had been hurt and wasn't coming home. But to leave like that was ultimate disrespect so she was out regardless.
Never, ever, ever. I haven’t the inclination to have any though, or engage in the process of causing pregnancy, eww. Anyhoo, although my mom was plenty willing to give me my “freedom”, she wouldn’t want to lose me, and I wouldn’t want to be away from her either. There’s a family history of psychiatric problems that make it difficult to impossible to live on our own. I would blow a gasket having to live on my own; incidentally one can’t possibly be prepared for everything. I was going to leave home at 21 because I had just gotten my disability and I was desperate to get away from the alcoholic who despised my very existence, but even then the thought of leaving even at that time was sheer hell. My grandmama was living with us at the time and she didn’t want me to leave either. I hadn’t told them my plans but someone I knew rang us and blew my cover. It didn’t take much for me to back out after that. Besides, the alcoholic was too sick to bother me much and died four months later.
No, I would never kick them out. When they were in college we were fortunately to live close tomany good schools. Instead of spending money on crappy dorm rooms and lousy cafeteria food I built a 4th bedroom and another bathroom onto my house so they each had their own room and their own bathroom. After they graduated they had one year to live rent free then I wanted them to pay towards household expenses. I think I wanted a hundred bucks a week. That was when they moved out.
We didn't have to kick anyone out. Our daughters both became self-sufficient and moved when it was right for them. One is an engineer, homemaker, homeschooler and author of a homeschooling book. The other is a Graphic Artist and mom, soon to start homeschooling as well. They both knew when the time was right.
kick out? no... but I would teach them about how important it is to be independent and live their own lives... It's the best motivation... to wait for something
Not really. Even if theyre jobless, I'd only kick them out if they're gonna bring more burden to the house hold. Like bringing "friends" over, having a partner that's staying, having kids of their own, doing drugs or any illegal activities. Of course they have to be at least useful with the households.
