Would you ever criticize a friend even if it means it will jeopardize the friendship?

Question

your friend complains constantly to you about his financial problems. but you secretly know that he is a huge over spender which is why he has no savings and is always upset about having not enough money. he spends 4000 on rent per month, goes grocery shopping 7 days a week, wasted 20k sending his wife to a school which she ended up quitting after a month.

If you tell him that he is an over spender, he will get angry with you for making him feel bad about himself and he hold a grudge against you

Or... just listen to him vent but offer him no criticism or advice so that you can preserve the friendship

slatyb · Answer

There's no point in telling someone something they already know. But you don't have to listen to his constant whining. You could just tell him "You know the source of your problem but you don't change and keep whining about it. Either change your habits or stop whining to me."

This reminds me of a scene in "Clerks" where one guy is constantly complaining that he isn't doing anything with his life. The other finally says (more or less) "Either do something or stop complaining. I'm a slacker and but I'm happy being a slacker."

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

If you care about the friend, it is more important to criticize them so they can actually correct the thing that will destroy them rather than not saying anything and allowing them to destroy themselves while you are still "friends".

It is definitely not easy and they might think you're an enemy, but if they do think you're an enemy and ignore your words, they will destroy themselves and prove you right and, if they are rational, they will have no choice but to remember that you actually told them what they needed to hear.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My credit card limit is high enough to buy a mini van and make a down payment on a trailer. I could borrow tens of thousands if I needed to, but I have never borrowed money from my credit card before because I believe it is bad for your reputation. My credit limit is higher than my friend who makes 300,000 a year because I always pay my bills on time.

RachyRach · Answer

If you can't be honest with your friend who you want to help without ghme getting offended, maybe they're not meant to be your friend

MrChinaski · Answer

Yes. If what you say genuinely comes from a place of love and support, for their sake not yours, then say it. Friendships are meant to be more than chewing gum.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

There is a - relatively low - limit of displayed stupidity, that I can tolerate.

NathanDavis · Answer

done it many times... but the friendship wasn't really at risk they did it sometimes, as well

exitseven · Answer

My best friend sometimes would not treat girls very good. He would get mad if I called him out on it.

Anonymous · Answer

If he didn’t put it in the form of a question, I will keep it to myself. If he asks, I will give the harsh truth.

Anonymous · Answer

Just listen to him vent. Only offer advice if you think he’s really likely to listen to it. Also, if he can afford to spend 20k on his spouse’s schooling, he’s not that bad off.

Staximus · Answer

Tell him to stop complaining because he’s the one who keeps doing stupid shit and not learning from his mistakes

jahaims · Answer

If giving constructive criticism to a friend jeopardizes the friendship you were never friends

martins45 · Answer

If they're constantly complaining about a problem they created themselves, someone has to be honest with them.

rgb008 · Answer

Yeah I enjoy doing that

Would you ever criticize a friend even if it means it will jeopardize the friendship?

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you cut off a friend without warning if they are negative and complain about everything?

Would you ever criticize a friend even if it means it will jeopardize the friendship?

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you cut off a friend without warning if they are negative and complain about everything?

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