First time meeting a girl - alone or out with friends?

[missymarkath]

When you ( a guy ) first start talking to a girl ..and you have been communicating via text on a daily basis... do you feel better meeting her in person alone or would you invite her out to meet up with you when you are with a group of your friends?

If meeting her in a group setting is it because of the fact you are nervous and/or shy? How do guys feel about first dates/first time meeting a girl?

[cheeky_starfish]

I personally would never meet a girl for the first time with my friends or another group of people, as you may not necessarily get on with them too well in person as opposed to chatting over text or the internet. I could imagine it would feel rather awkward and tense if you are not getting on with your 'date' very well while hanging out with your friends. I would rather meet up at a public place where the two of us could chat and get to know one another in a more personal and private setting, although not completely alone.

I would also feel that meeting and talking to the girl for the very first time in person while my mates were there watching and listening would kinda feel like I was being observed and scrutinised... I'd rather not have that kind of distraction.

I guess the ideal for me would be to meet up at a bar or go somewhere for the day together, something of a mutual interest, to get to know one another more privately without the distraction of others... I hope that all makes sense! lol

[hotchickwanted]

Mostly alone. I like to try to read her body language to see if she is comfortable with me. If I see that she has her eyes in mine for long periods of time and her body language is open to me, I know that she is wanting to get to know me and is comfortable with me. It's hard to do that when in a group!

Well the first dates are always the easiest for me, mostly because we can talk about our families, college experiences, favorite places to eat, go, hobbies, and won't run out of things to talk about. And she and I won't feel awkward about kissing after the first date night out, which I never do.

On the 2nd to 3rd dates is when it gets tricky. It is the time when I start to figure out if she is going to be comfortable with moving past the getting to know each other stage, to let's get to start opening up to each other stage, where we talk about what we want in a relationship, and if we like each other enough to start a relationship...I totally let the girls go first lol!

[hotchickwanted]

Oh, and the first time meeting a girl, b4 I ask her out is so nerve wrecking, but so exciting! I want to sell myself the best way that I can, by being myself, to leave a good first impression. I also don't try to seem like that is the reason I have approached her. I will start to test her by asking if she would like to hang out sometime...*if she says no to this, I know damn well she's going to say no to will you go out with me, or would you like to go out sometime.* So this is how I feel!

[missymarkath]

but if you were to 'ask her out' and it happens to be to hang out with you and your friends is that because you are nervous/shy about being alone? I think both parties are nervous on a first date/first meeting.

[hotchickwanted]

Do you mean out for a date with my friends or to hang out.with my friends?...define *ask her out*. - if for to hang out it would be because I would feel nervous about asking her to be alone with me, either because the ice wasn't broken enough or if she didn't look like she was going to give me a yea through her body language, but showed small signs of interest...if you have a similar situation happening let me know and I can help :).

[JohnWhilkins]

Groups are always best. I'm sorry it's sort of not covering the exact question you wanted answered but it'll be close to.

It's sort of hard to talk yourself up and make yourself look better. The best way in my opinion to learn within the first moments what a person is really like is to learn from how they are when they're with their friends.

That would just be it. We could talk in a group, you get to know me through me AND my friends. Some hour later we could pull away and talk more privately.

/Max

[missymarkath]

Thank you for your answer! I'm not sure if I worded MY question right..but you seemed to have answered it pretty well.

The basic question is if you ask a girl out...but you ask her 'out' where your friends are going to be vs. asking her out where just the two of you would be alone ...is it because of nerves and the shyness factor?

I personally feel all first dates are awkward no matter what.

hopefully that makes a little more sense?

[hotchickwanted]

*answering a different way*

Assuming that I really like a girl and don't want to get a no, I would probably ask if she would like to hang out with me and my friends.

If upon first approach with a girl I fancy, if I feel like she is going to turn me down, or if I'm not sure how things are going, I might pull out the friends card. That would be because I would not want her to feel uncomfortable as we are getting to know each other. So in a way I am both shy and nervous that I don't want to get turned down, until she saw who I really am when around my peps I hang around almost every day.

But I just don't think that is smart bc, I would rather know, than not know initially if I am someone she is fancying. I would hate to get turned down in front of my friends. And that is why I ask the girl if she would like to hang out with me sometime.

Maybe I'm not understanding the situation or question good enough...please clarify if I'm way off? Thanks

[missymarkath]

i somewhat reworded it above...

i feel like I would want to do one on one so you get to know THAT person you are dating..

i also understand the group thing. might make the initial awkwardness a little easier if friends are there... but aren't you kind of putting that girl on the spot when she's the odd man out?

[hotchickwanted]

Your rite, she probably will feel like the Whoa-Man out lol! 5 stars on tha question btw.

[HandsomeRaj]

I didn't ask my friends when I befriended her did I? ;) in which case why would I want my friends to be around when I meet her the 1st time? - If someone does that he sure isn't confident of himself and relies on others' opinion in his personal life when it comes to incorporating anyone else there (a bad sign)

A girl / woman taking someone along when meeting someone she hasn't met the 1st time is well taken and matter of fact - recommended, since there are other risks involved.

[josesmaf]

I usually meet her alone. I'm confident that we can connect if we've been talking already. I've had girls who want me to meet up with her and her friends. I'm okay with that if she's uncomfortable, but I usually look for times after she's comfortable to get to know each other one on one.

[MikeGaultier]

Alone. I love my friends to death, but they can be complete butts when it comes to this kind of stuff. If for whatever reason I know I wouldn't want a second date (which has never happened), I'll make sure my buddies are there.

[foxsquirrel]

Definitely alone. Friends can go to hell and mind their own business.

[moviedude714]

definitely alone when other people are around it makes it more awkward

[AlwaysBelieving]

Alone. I'd want to focus on her.