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About a Boy: Phone Number, Dates and the Dreaded Maybe

To put myself into some context; I'm 100% for long lasting, loving and monogamous relationships. I don't practice that really cringeworthy word society calls "game" (so called players make me want to smash my head with a brick repeatedly). I want guys to understand how Mr. Right should behave and get rid of the traits which make him Mr. Off-centre. Unfortunately, guys have a habit of chasing girls who aren't interested and spend so long focussing on green lights they ignore the red ones thus remain unhappy when they should have left a long time ago and carried on the search for Miss. Right. This specific article is related to the early stages of a relationship and how to spot when a girl's interest isn't on fire.
You should see guys when they get a girls number or get a date with the potential girl of their dreams; they can't stop smiling or talking about it. A week, a date and a few texts later, the girl's lost interest. I mean, they gave you their number and went out on a date with you. How CAN'T they be attracted to you? What 95% of guys these days do is assume phone numbers and the first few dates are watertight proof of interest. As much as you want to disbelieve it, you're wrong.
Recently, I asked the lovely ladies of GaG to illustrate this via a series of questions regarding dating and phone numbers in hope it'll shed some light onto the vast majority of the male population. The research was conducted from 21 girls aged 20 and above. Any missing numbers chose not to answer that particular question. Let's have a look what they said.

"Have you ever dated a guy you weren't romantically interested because you had nothing else to do that particular day/night?" or "Have you dated somebody you weren't interested in?"
Honest prediction: majority to say yes.
Yes: 15
No: 6
"Have you ever given out your number to a guy who asked because you were too polite to say no?"
Honest prediction: vast majority to say yes.
Yes: 11
No: 8
"Would you ever say "maybe" to an invitation to a date with a guy you are definitely attracted to?"
Honest prediction: majority to say no.
Yes: 10
No: 6
Which was later rephrased to emphasise if the guy was Mr. Right i.e. somebody they were interested in dating, would they still say maybe? Those who responded said they'd accept the date or say yes instead of maybe.
"Give two examples of how you've rejected a guys invitation to date "nicely"
Honest prediction: anything other than an answer which incorporates the word "yes".
A few common answers:
"Can I get back to you on that?"
"I just got out of a relationship and I'm not ready"
"I'm at a place in my life where I just need to focus on myself"
"So what does this all mean, Irrelevance? Are you as pointless as your username suggests?" I hear. The point I'm trying to hammer home is that once you get her phone number or confirm the first date, don't get so cocky, hotshot. You've got a long way to go.

Answer to the first question in a nutshell: girls don't always date because they're interested so keep an eye out for red flags. If they say maybe, cancel the date later on in the week and ask her again another time; she gets two chances. Two maybes, it's time to leave. We're aiming for girls who are interested, not girls whose interest hangs in the balance or girls who aren't willing to be honest. If they're going to gamble then they're prepared to lose. It's that simple. Trust me, this simple observation saves you so much time and it stops you from chasing girls who don't like you.
Since the female "maybe" is covered here, I'll skip to the third question answers. Will a girl who's definitely interested to date say maybe? Well:
"If I was attracted to a guy I would say YES not MAYBE"
"No definitely not. If I was interested I would say yes with no hesitation"
"if a guy am attracted to asks me out...there'd be no hesitation"
I expected a lot more girls to say yes, to be honest. I've done a bit of data gathering in public, with friends etc. And this is the first time I've got a negative trend. Although, almost all (bar one or two as I recall) of the girls (who replied) would say "yes" when I made out that the guy in question was Mr. Right i.e. somebody they want to date. Short answer: if they want to date you, they'll say yes unless they're messing you around which is why you can NEVER EVER accept the maybe date. If you do, you will never know where you stand so don't fall for the trap. One exception to look out for is this:
"I said yes first then, giving him enough time to make other arrangements then called and said I'm soo sorry"
When they cancel the dates and don't offer to reschedule, it's time to bail. The last thing I'm going to say is that if you're going to this, you need willpower in order to stop contacting these girls. If you start crawling back to them, it's not going to help you at all and drive you further into a hole of low self esteem and confidence.
Thanks a lot for everybody who participated (except you, ArtistBboy. Get a job or something :P). I'm open to questions.

-I.
About a Boy: Phone Number, Dates and the Dreaded Maybe
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nashton
    The only problem with your research is that you only used 21 ladies

    if it was me I would have survey 50 at least.... less margin for error and will more persuasive for others

    but will take your advice into consideration

    i kinda of always done it except its with when I call

    call once leave a message call again no message , because if she want to talk or is in to me, she'll call me back( unless I know she some super shy girl)

    i have noticed that girls will alway say yes or maybe but never no haha
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • ConstantlyConfused
    Wow great article! Personally, I didn't know women do this.....but, I am not surprised.

    I say "yes" if I'm interested, and "no thanks", if I'm not. If I am uncertain, an invitation to a loud party can help you better judge if you both clash, or both romance!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

16
  • lavalamp87
    there was some interesting stuff here but, you're completely wrong about girls saying "yes" to mr right. You really are new to them aren't you? Girls are walking maybes, even when they really really really like a guy they usually will never just flat out say so, cause it kills all the fun and chase.
  • rtcj96
    Good article! It's true, most girls will give you their number because they don't want to be rude. It's so hard to say no, though, especially since it's very flattering when someone asks in the first place.
  • GIntrovert
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it all makes sense now!!!!! Now, I'm kinda p*ssed off at those girls for using me..
  • ArtistBboy
    Haha I love the part about me not helping ;) Thanks man.. I feel the love!

  • esahc88
    I think that the idea of a "perfect guy" is flawed, especially the term "Mr. Right".
  • OfAfricandescent
    Great article!
  • Matthew988
    Very good writing
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