Playing 'Hard to Get' Fails

ldchamp
Playing 'Hard to Get' Fails

Recently I've become more acutely aware of a game we teenagers and young adults tend to play that we call "hard to get." To me it's always seemed dumb, but something clicked with me the other day when I watched a good friend of mine lose the girl he had totally flipped for because he played hard to get and she moved on. Thing is that both of them really liked each other but playing games cost them. That's why I want to outline the biggest cons to playing hard to get and why, frankly, I think it's an immature way to get into a relationship and sets us up for failure.

Con #1: It sends the wrong message

This ought to be common sense to every single one of us. Why, ever in your right mind, would you act like you don't like the person that you are attracted to. It is just plain crazy. Whether you like it or not, anytime we play hard to get, we are setting ourselves up for that other person to move on.

Con #2: It can hurt feelings

Playing hard to get with the incessant 'hot then cold' type of attention just leaves the other person feeling confused and conflicted about their feelings. I can speak from experience to this, as can many others. It's just not fair to you or the other person involved. If you are interested in that person, be upfront, don't intentionally send the them to voicemail, delay responses to text messages, or cancel plans out of the blue in an effort to make them want you more.

Con #3: By definition, we are deceiving the other person

Deception is perhaps the primary reason relationships fail: someone refuses to be upfront and honest with the other person. Playing hard to get is, by definition deceiving the other person. After all, we are interested in them, and want to talk to them or spend time with them, but we act like we aren't just to try to get them to like us more? When I sat down and logically thought about this for a second I realized how dumb I have acted in the past.

I agree with those who say that you always want what you can't have. But for me, I've never become more attracted to a girl because she intentionally played hard to get with me. I'm ashamed to say I've played that game in the past, but I've come to realize that the adult way to handle relationships is to be honest about your feelings and go for it.

This isn't to say I'm condemning those who do like playing hard to get, or think that it works. I'm just saying that I've decided to stop doing it, and I hope you carefully consider my thoughts!

Thanks!

Playing 'Hard to Get' Fails
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