Why is my guy friend constantly avoiding being alone with me?

[Anonymous]

Me and my friend had been friends for 10 years. Recently I have developed a crush on him and have told him how I felt. He didn't feel the same way, and so we grew apart for a few months. I have since then dated other people. It seems like we're fine, and I thought we were back to being the way we were before. But right now he still avoids being alone with me. Every time I ask him to hang out by ourselves, he always rejects me. I called him out on it, and he says everything is fine, yet he's still doing it. We're fine hanging out in a group and we talk regularly online and SMS. I just want things to be normal again, and he's making it really hard to do so. Help!

[JedHakuro]

It's one of those possible consequences of telling someone how you feel. They may either:

a) accept your feelings

b) reject your feelings

c) a mix between the two

You know by this experience that by confessing your feelings to him will change everything. Whether it would be going into a relationship or falling apart, you definitely did know that he was going to feel someway about you from that point on.

I really can't give you advice about him, you know him better than I do and possibly most people considering the time duration. The best remedy I could give you is 'time.'

Yes, time. You're going to have to rebuild that friendship all over again and it may be harder this time because of the awkwardness, but you're going to need to do so if you really want to keep him by your side.

And maybe he's just insecure being with you because of what happened, but he's a guy, it's kinda hard for us, guys, to view one of our closest female friends as being more than that girl you could put your head on when a relationship goes wrong or someone to ask about relationship advice from.

But I hope everything turns our right, but only time will tell.

[Asker]

Great answer! I think you're right. He's SLOWLY coming around these days. Guess I just have to be extra patient.

[Anonymous]

You just described my last year and a half, except that we've been friends for 4 years. =/ It's right on spot; told him how I felt, he didn't feel the same but tried to develop some feelings, we had a fight and he started ignoring me for about 2 months. I cried every day and then I asked him to be friends again and he was relieved. And now, after one year, we talk every single day almost all day, hang out and everything but he still doesn't want to be alone with me. Even if he agrees to come to my place, he still looks kind of uncomfortable with me. =/ I'm sorry, I really don't have the answer to your problem. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and that it's a common problem, unfortunately. Hope it works out for you. :)