Why won't my guy friend make a move?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend told me recently that he cares about me. He is always complimenting me and telling me I look beautiful and amazing. But he never initiates hang outs or has asked me out officially on a one on one date. Why won't he make a move? Can a guy really care about a girl and be attracted to her, but still not want to date her?

[Jtmatt]

You know...he did make the first move. he told you that he cares about you and compliments you. That is what I call a first move. He is waiting for you to make a move. He will NOT make another move until YOU ask him out. If not, then you both will just be friends.

Why should he first approach you, talk about how special you are, than he has to ask you out too? A relationship takes 2 people, not one person doing all the work. If you were really interested you would have asked to hangout with him already. I can guarantee you that he feels that you do not care enough to want to date him. That is why he is not asking you out. You have to be assertive and create the relationship.

So stop procrastinating and ask him out!

[Asker]

I'm usually the one initiating hang-outs and usually we meet up with other people. We have never done a one on one "date'. I've been trying to flirt more and more because I used to treat him like a brother but now I've begun to care for him. He is close friends with my brother but I don't think that would hold him back. I still think he may think of me as sister..even though he says I'm attractive and that he cares about me which is why he isn't interested in dating

[jacki2424]

Yup.

We won't do it because 1. we care about the girl so much and we're afraid to screw up our friendship by dating since we don't think we'd be a good bf.

2. If she's with someone we won't make a move, she's off limits.

3. If she's the complete opposite of our morals, religious/spiritual beliefs, and political beliefs.

4. If she expects all the guy to do all the work in dating, we won't pursue because then she's kind of a snob/selfish. (so if she hasn't asked for any sort of datelike event, texted, then she needs to step up to the plate and initiate dating on her part.)

[bwachauer]

He's used to being a friend and is afraid he will lose that if a relationship doesn't work out.

A lot of risk involved in starting a dating relationship; you'll have higher expectations for him, for one thing, right? And all his friends will have to adjust to the change successfully for it to work, too. Just because he might get laid is no reason to risk a comfortable situation!

[Asker]

I'm usually the one asking him to hang out. Most of the time he will say yes, sometimes no. A few times a girl would ask him for drinks and he would invited me along. But the hang outs have never had an exclusive, romantic undertone. I try to flirt more these days because I used to treat him and see him like a brother, but now I care. I still think he thinks of me as a sister (because he is close to my brother).

[stubbsy]

This guy is obviously still scared of being rejected, it sounds like your going to wear the trousers in this relationship and ask him,x