I want to give dating one more try, but I've been unable to do that as I've been unable to drive, but I'm going to be able to this week, finally. Online dating has never even landed me a single date, only 15 stand ups and tons of frustration and lowered self esteem. How do I pick girls up at the club? Note: I'm not 21, so I can't buy them drinks and stuff, I'm average looking normally, but well above average on a good day, I'm funny, but I can't re-engage people when they aren't interested in the conversation.
I quote mr Ed Sheeran and say that the club isn't the best place to find love.. in case you want something more than a one night hook up. Go to a bar instead, take a friend with and find two girls to talk to. It's easier when you're a little group
The club is way too loud and people generally just come to dance with their friends, not to find dates
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+1 y
Someone doesn't read details, I can't enter a bar because I'm not 21, and I have no real life friends to go anywhere with.
@anononon123 it's more of a mutual desire for them to do what a man and a women are supposed to do and that's form a relationship, the only reason a guy and girl would be friends is if she doesn't like him that way.
Ok, and you think a girl wants to start a relationship just like that? Not talk and get to know each other a little and then pursue dating if both parties are interested
But if you aren't social enough to make some friends, talking to a girl might not work out so well... Even if she dates you, she will think it's weird that you don't have friends
You dont pick up girl from clubs, unless they wanted you too. A club is a dark place people who go there usually enjoy music and get drunk i dont think it is easy to get girl when the crowd is overwhelming
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There's few alternatives to it, and other guys make it look really easy.
Saying it only happens if they want it too goes for anywhere though. Clubs are far more likely to have girls open to it than other places. So *girls* go to get drunk and dance, but *guys* go because girls go and that’s it. It’s not like there’s much of a choice.
15 stand ups with online dating? As an online dating coach that is hard to digest. You would think after 5 stand ups you would recognize a pattern or something you are doing wrong.
At your age you should be killing it on Tinder or Bumble. Period. Clubs should be the last option available. Just my opinion.
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+1 y
I've tried changing up my bio, updating photos, removing my hunting photo (I get so much hate mail for it), and the only likes I get are from spam bots, escorts, or girls who don't want to talk.
If you want to send me screen shots of your profiles I will take a look and see if I can help. Up to you. My email address is datedoctor513@hotmail. com... otherwise good luck. You are still young so going to a club can't hurt. A good mix of going out and using apps are best anyway.
Clubs are a joke. Stay away from them. Your question shows you are either ignoring the current situation, or unaware. The risks of false allegations and other crap are out there. Be smart. Go do something social that does not involve loud clubs where alcohol, drugs and fights brew.
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There's no drugs there, and there's no other option. It's the only place you can talk to anyone here without them getting so defensive and pushing you away.
First you need to figure out the reason you're struggling at the moment. It is slightly easier to meet girls face to face if you have the confidence to do so, when meeting girls face to face they tend to be less flaky than they are online, but if you can't get a date online you're probably gonna struggle there too. Something you're doing is wrong if every single girl you talk to is flaking on you.
It's usually fixable so you shouldn't give up, however it will probably take more than just a post here to fix it having looked at your replies to others here. I know this because I had to do the same.
First things first, what do you look like? Have you done everything you can to look attractive? As in hitting the gym and building an athletic/muscular physique, dressing well, getting a decent haircut? This is one of the simplest things you can do to help yourself here.
Next, I'm guessing from what you've said to others about having few friends, not being able to make new friends etc. that you're lacking social skills and confidence. That says to me that this is also something you need to work on, your conversation skills, flirting, reading social situations etc. I'd suggest learning "game" from guys like Steve Jabba, Richard La Ruina, Adam Lyons, RSD. Those guys all have their own websites and tons of videos on youtube.
The reason I say it will probably take more than one post to fix this is because the above takes a lot of time. You learn those things through experience gradually, it can't be learned overnight. It also takes time for you to fully understand those things. You just have to listen to/read their stuff and then go talk to people, learn through trial and error.
You should watch these videos when/if you have the time:
This might not work for all guys but I was the most fun of all fun, the boldest of the boldest, the most social of the social, and I wore a pink shirt. Check out my pink shirt:
if you want to be the coolest guy sitting in the corner with arms crossed, my advice will not work. My advice is opposite -- you high-five the staff, get to know everybody, everyone around you when you dance, you goof around with DJ until he lets you fool around on DJ equipment, then you will score girls and it will be easy.
But you have to be #1 at something. In my case, I was #1 idiot, and proud of it. I even got some very good-looking guys coming up to me asking how I did it and I recommended to them to become more of an idiot. They were too smart, too reserved, in my opinion.
It is not like every girl likes these things. But you become #1 at something, anything. If you become funnest of the fun, then girls who like fun will love you -- you cut through the crowd like samurai sword. Everyone else is boring, and you are fun, and the ones who like fun will love you.
But with a pink shirt you have to do some masculine things, obviously. I arm wrestled with bouncer and security. I beat one who was a professional kickboxer, and that immediately got some girls' attention while I patted him on the back and he vouched for me. More often I lost arm wrestling huge guys at the club, but I patted them on the back and fist-pumped and they still vouched for me for losing in a humble way. You win the crowd, you win girls. It is easy if you can stop chasing after girls and chase after the crowd.
Change goal from getting a girl to owning the place, to being the king, the most well-liked person in the entire club. Then a girl will come easy if that's what you want.
This is very simple to do. It takes a little practice to get your body language, and tone of voice right. Once you get that down you can start a decent conversation with lots of girls. You won't get every single one, and you will get shot down at least once. Once your body language and tone give off the right vibe that says I'm not a weakling, and I'm not creepy; you can start a conversation with nearly any girl, any where.
Girls in clubs aren't interested in conversation tho... Especially at your age, Jesus Christ! Clubs are pure unadulterated reptilian brain dynamics. Look good, smell good, and be confident. Hell at your age they're still giggling teenagers more afraid (and self conscious) of you than you are of them. Unfortunately you have nothing to offer at your age so they're often checking out guys much older than you. Hence that stupid study that says men are having less sex... yea they neglected to mention girls are all fucking the same 30-40 something aged men, thats why.
Are ya in shape? Do you drive a NOT pos car? Are you going somewhere in life? Can you handle 3 giggling 1/2 drunk idiots yelling "OH MA GOD I LYKE YOUR SHIRT, WOOOOO!" at you?
SMOKE PIT! the club itself is hard because you can't talk properly with the ladies to flirt, but in the smoke pit all the ladies are down for convo while they smoke, I have more luck in the smoke pit then anywhere else and I don't even smoke except at clubs for this reason! Another way would be to get good at dancing and go to a country club, all the ladies get smitten over a man who can two step properly
dont be that creep in clubs who goes around finding pretty girls and starts grinding on them. its super weird seeing guys do that and unless the girls so drunk she doesn't know whats going on, she won't like it. itll be too loud to talk or hear one another, your best bet is learning to dance and having girls come to you. dont be the obnoxious hip thruster or do the lasso shit on girls, its super cringey. learn the stock dances, get some coordination, have fun.
A waste of time , and also , they are typically a sausage fest , with 10 + males per female , you will have a huge amount of competition , and on top of that , only a handful of the women there will be receptive , most are on " girls nights out " mode only.
Dude, in order to be successful in chic pickup u need something more than desperate desire and the magic wang. U can youtube hundreds of pickup lessons. But the most wisest say "Don't waste your time running for the skirts. Take care of urself".
They won't be able to hear you, so looks are super important. Dress like a typical guy and just be patient. Dont leave the club early, keep shooting your shot, until 4am. Also go with a group of friends, preferably bring some female friends with you
Well thats wayy more important than picking up some random girl. You should try and join a club or church near you and network with people Then you will meet tons of people and tons of girls.
Clubs will just make depressed af, if you strike out and its 4am and you are alone in an uber going home. I have been there man, dont do it, its not for everyone.
Fuck pizza delivery is rough. I used to deliver during the night shift. Try and work in the pizzeria, making pizzas or working the register if you can. You are isolated man, thats a recipe for disaster.
Its not easy making friends nowadays. Do you have any old high school friends you can get in touch with? Sometimes you can rebuild those old bridges and that could take you places.
oof! yeah moving far away isn't so glamorous man. I just suffered the last 5 years because I did the same thing (I am still relatively close, I am 200miles away) I would highly suggest you join a church, or volunteer somewhere.
At the worst the volunteer work helps pad your resume and keeps you busy during your free time. I highly recommend it if you can spare the time. Hang in there man and good luck
Women are just as insecure as guys if Not More... plenty of them are nervous of these Types of Situations too so just approach them, talk to them and get to know them.. they don’t bite. Most of Em anyway
There are a lot of guys in the club and it’s very difficult to try to seduce a girl in that type of setting with loud music and so many people.
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There aren't many alternatives, at concerts, the sound is even worse and I have a low voice, there's no way I can talk over the music there. When I went once, it was quiet enough at first that we could talk, but once the peak times started, it was too loud.
If you can character, can dance and know an joke or two, you'll be alright.
We think too much and feel too little. Dont worry so much and enjoy yourself, if one girl doesn't want to dance, another one will. Men or women their all like minded people seeking fun.
You need two things. Firstly you need to be there. Secondly you need to get lucky. Try to make eye contact. If they return it you can give them the old chat and flirt.
Act confident. Walk as if you own the place, calmly, but surely. Before doing anything, tell yourself: "I am an attractive guy. Whatever happens, I will still love and respect myself"
Girls at clubs 99% of the time only go for the hottest guy which means you'll have to compete with super attractive ruthless men.
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+1 y
They can't compete with me from a personality standpoint, and it's harder for the girls to ignore me if I'm actually there as opposed to sending them a message. I'm competing with ridiculously handsome guys online, too, and I've seen the results, I have a much better chance approaching in person.
Look I'm gonna be blunt. Club women want the badboy in body and personality. If you are a legit good guy with a funny personality I suggest joining healthy group activities with many people. From there you can make friends and build connects that will allow you to meet healthy minded women.
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