Guys who won't make a move?

[Anonymous]

What is your opinion of guys who don't have the balls to make a move on girls?

Examples:

* He would love to date a girl in his class but he never dare to ask her out.

Or

* He see a really hot girl in the supermarket that he would love to meet but he don't dare to walk over to her and say hi.

Updates

+1 y

Like, is these guys not seen as "real men" for not having balls?

[Dylan1989]

I know this is gonna sound like I don't have the balls to approach a girl but there a quite a few reasons why I don't.

1. I have no problems just talking to a girl and then asking her for a number or a date. I have done it plenty times before. But when you get rejected by every girl you make a move on you question whether there is something wrong with you. And it really takes a big knock on your confidence.

2. I just don't want to bother the girl. Chances are, if I think this girl is attractive then I assume that she gets approached and asked out by many other guys also. I just don't wanna be the next loser who approaches her and fails. Plus, when I approach a girl randomly I feel as if I am bothering her and wasting her time because she is busy with whatever she is doing.

3. I don't know what to say to the girl. I can easily go up to a girl and be myself and easily strike up a conversation about anything. But chances are she will not be interested. Why? Because she has to FEEL the attraction. It doesn't matter if you're handsome or whatever, media and players and PUAs have taught us that you need say certain things in a certain way and do certain things and make the girl laugh and stuff like that. So basically, that means I should not be myself which I find hard to do. I mean I can make girls laugh but when I'm approaching a girl for the first time I need to make sure I make a good first impression which can make some guys feel uneasy and pressurized. If I could attract a girl with a pleasant and intelligent conversation whilst being myself then I probably would not hav gotten rejected as many times as I have been. I've been complimented on my looks before but none of those girls ever felt attraction for me.

[iambellosani]

unfortunately all what these girls have shared is true to a great extent. Also unfortunately, I happen to be part of those guys but my reasons are quite different from what has been expressed although I cannot deny that there was a time that it was the case.

When a guy sees a girl that he would really like to know, they sometimes want to observe first and there! they see a crack and back out. this is always the case if they have no intention of just a casual relationship, a swing or a flick, they want a serious relationship

Unfortunately, guys are programmed to pay more attention to the downs of a situation. e.g. guys are really sensitive about a girl being better than them, like in the town I live in, most of the girls' come from wealthy backgrounds and the guys get really intimidated about all the sleekness around some girls which "hot" as used to qualify some girls shows a lot of my example.

i decided not to make a move on many girls on the grounds that although, they know that I am much more brilliant than them but they are trying really hard to show me otherwise.

[dryad]

It tends to be that guys who are afraid to talk to girls in public are sexually inexperienced. Though that's not always the case -- they're shy in public but not the bedroom. I've known such guys, who can be really good lovers once the doors close and no one can see them but I. They know what to do then and there, but when first meeting a girl it's unknown territory. For some guys, approaching girls is the hardest thing in the world.

You should practice before a mirror and rehearse some lines, practice with your buddies. That's what my brothers would do, even practice with me. We all had a lot of fun with that.

[Prof_Don]

"It tends to be that guys who are afraid to talk to girls in public are sexually inexperienced."

I have to agree w. this one. I will definitely say...once I was no longer a virgin, my confidence did significantly raise.

[Dylan1989]

That's true. But there are also guys who are sexually experienced who are still afraid to talk to girls in public. Probably because their past girlfriends were people who they met through soical networking or other friends and stuff. It's more comfortable when you meet someone that way.

[FunsizeSensation]

If a guy doesn't have the confidence to even come speak to me, I would literally eat him alive in terms of dating. I'm pretty confident so I need a guy who can stand up to me when I'm wrong, defend me when other guys/girls are being out of line, but most of all can show to me that he cares. I mean if he can't ask me on one date how on earth is he going to confess any feelings he might have for me further down the line.

People should go after what they want and not let fear of rejection stop them, I've been rejected and hurt before but I know you don't get anything by wishing and hoping.

[arsenal25]

I don't think they don't have balls, it's not easy to approach someone. But I think these guy miss an good opportunity to meet a girl and date girls they like. It's their loss basically. If I am making eye contacts, and smile I am basically hoping you come and talk to me. I lack "balls" by coming up to you lol so make it happen please. lol see wish I had the balls as a girl come up to a guy I like in class, supermarket or wherever and ask him out, I guess it is my loss as well. So it's more like the person who is not making moves is missing out on meeting ppl.

[Dylan1989]

good answer. someone understands. but some girls don't even try to make eye contact or smile which makes it even harder. at least if there was eye contact or a smile it would be easier on us. and even eye contact can be mistaken for ''just looking to see who's around''.

[Cyhhgg]

I'm satisfied with this answer because at least you're admitting that you're a coward, too. :)

[alysaa16]

its a turn off because I like guys that aren't afraid to do crazy stuff (since I'm crazy) if you do that ull never get anywhere trust me I am one of those people but sometimes you just get the guts to do it and then you can't back down and you feel great because you did something scary dusnt matter if they say no it was fun bsides like risks are always worth it and for the second xample id do that I'm not afraid with strangers like remember your prob never going to seem them again so if you make a fool of yourself watevr if theyr single you think 1) wow this guy is confident ...i LIKE him or 2) he's a pedo I'm walkin away but dusnt matter ull never see them again if theyr married or something again awkward but ull never see them again

[answerthisplz]

yeah it pissess me off when guys like or have feelings for a girl and they don't make a move it makes me think that they don't have balls to make a move it pisses me off . I had a bunch of my friends who are girls come to me privately because I'm the person who everyone goes to for advice and they ask if there's anything wroong with them becausehey don't have aguy or she's confused or what not. if we give you signs take them and give us signs back but not mixed messages stop being so confusng and just make a move clearly and ask them out. seriously half of the girls at school and everywhere else in the world would have boyfriends if guys would have the balls the express thier feelings and aska girl out

[971789]

It annoys me because these girls you want to ask out might actually like you back but because you're so shy to begin with they might not even know for sure whether or not you feel the same way. You don't even have to start out with asking for a date but just ask them to hang out and eventually after hanging out for a bit you can clarify what it is you're looking for

[Megan1407]

I get so damn annoyed! Especially when I know they like me and I like them. I, sometimes, take the first step but then they embarrass me by telling me they don't like me, then go around telling all their mates what happened, making a complete fool out of me! I just wish guys had the balls to ask me out and not let the fear of rejection stop them!

[IAmAnon123]

"I, sometimes, take the first step but then they embarrass me by telling me they don't like me, then go around telling all their mates what happened, making a complete fool out of me!"

Followed by:

"I just wish guys had the balls to ask me out and not let the fear of rejection stop them!"

You're aware that happens to us too, right?

[Cyhhgg]

@IAmAnon123 Of course she's not aware of this. Didn't you know that women and men are the same in all regards (something women try to prove, tirelessly) except for when it comes to putting your ego at risk. That's where the divide is. Men have to risk that, while women can go home with a barely bruised sense of self that they'll only ever know when their man leaves them. But, the inital approach? Nope. Men have to fight for love. Women only need to wait for it.

[frustratedchump06]

I'm not afraid to make a move or ask a girl out, I just hate being rejected that's why, I've been rejected constantly too many times already, it's a pride issue, not a lack of balls or masculinity issue, and why is it the masculine, manly thing to do to take initiative? take charge? who said so anyway? did God say so? does it say in the Bible that the guy has to initiate?

[Cormycakez]

Its annoying, my friend in high school and I both had feelings for one another (we never admitted it), and I just went off to college and found a boyfriend, I know its driving him crazy. If he had only done something during senior year... but he didn't, and now he's going to Hawaii... Don't let life be filled with regret.

[toulouse]

So long as he does freak out if I approach him, idc how shy he is. I like it when guys are not all over you- being all full of themselves. by freak out I do not just mean at the time. but having a problem with how he feels even if I am being straight up. sometimes people do not make a move not because they are shy as much as they are generally un comfortable with their feelings, in which case you should get comfortable before you bother anyone.

[Anonymous]

it reallyyyy annoys me because half the time girls think they get a good vibe from a guy and then we expect to be asked out and it never happens..

n often enough it comes back later from one of their friends that the guy did in fact like you but just didn't do anything about it, gr!

n yeah I know I knowwww, girls can ask guys out too.. but it is lovely when a guy makes the first move =)

[Laurie182]

I know how you feel cause I wish I could tell a guy I like him but I'm too shy. I would love it if a guy came over to me, just like you would if a girl did. I think its anoyen when you both like each other but no one makes a move.

[diosadelanoche]

This guy irritates me. Not because I have some old-school belief that men should always make the moves. But because I don't have the "balls" to make the moves, so when I meet this guy, nothing happens.

[hokeypokeypanda]

haha sounds like my problem too :)

[scfranci]

sometimes it''s annoying because I would like for a guy to make the first move, but I have no problem making the first move if I like the guy. but sometimes I feel like saying just step up and do it. lol.

[DirtyDlish]

well that's hard to say. I'm outgoing as hell. But I don't talk to girls that look to good. Only cause I like down to earth more grounded chicks. And we like to be picked up too. Maybe we don't really care about a hot chick.lol I dont.

[-StillWater-]

No...they're fine. But I don't have the patience for them in that respect. They always end up being my very good friends. -that never seem to like my boyfriend..

[learningthegame16]

Honestly, I wouldn't think they didn't have balls. I would think that they're not interested in me and hey, if some random guy I see in public doesn't smile or anything at me, why would I think different?

[dalila]

I think, gee if only he had the balls...or gee be a man, do something, and if I see That he is interested and just too shy I do something like talking to him, but I will wait for him do ask my number or ask me out...

[littlemisspetite]

yeah it gets kind of annoying. But the ones I really hate that do that are the ones that know they're good looking and are confident and make all the girls come to them! This is a huge turn off!

[valleykitten]

Normally if you flirty smile at a girl especially in random places she will, or at least I would go up to the guy and start a random convo, and maybe even end up getting a # out of it.

[megs00]

You never know unless you try. And if you get shot down by one girl, there are plenty more that might be interested.

[Anonymous]

girls love confident men who know what they want and go for it

ive had guys come up to me and just start talkng about anything and once I got to know them a little I started liking them

dont lose your chance of meeting a potential great girl

[Anonymous]

that he's going to be single for a really long long time