Can Too Smooth Be A Problem Too?

[anon1903]

ok it sounds both conceited and funny but my friend remarked that my subtle flirting skills are so good that my girl crush can't make sense out of it.

tbh, even my bi polyamorous boyfriend had trouble digesting the fact or the possibility that I might be flirting with him.

so be honest. when it comes to indirect flirting, am I really too good? Or am I over thinking?

Yep

Nope

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Updates

+1 y

She told me it's straight but because she's sharper than me, she already knew about it and was gonna ask about it herself. Not much awkward.

[GoldenAxer]

For me, yeah. If it's too smooth I feel like the girl is an actress that stepped out of a movie and accidentally stayed in character. I'm drawn to what I perceive (possibly flawed) as genuineness. Anyone who is too smooth to me doesn't come across as genuine. I like a tiny bit of goofiness and laughter mixed in there to kind of remind us that what we're saying is not rehearsed.

[anon1903]

Right

[OlderAndWiser]

Either you are too good or those around you are too slow on the uptake.

[anon1903]

Thanks either way

[Gwenhwyfar]

You might be too indirect. Try unbuttoning the top button on your top so she can get a better look at your cleavage.

[AmandaYVR]

If you're flirting and people don't know it, then it's not effective flirting. It's too subtle.

[anon1903]

I guess

[eminde]

Smooth moves work once in a while and boy do they WORK!
But if it’s an involuntary habit
People get annoyed or jump to baseless conclusions
I’ve observed it with many people around me
So it’s always better to dial it down a notch just to give that person a chance to be smooth themselves

[Syrian_survivor]

If a girl doesn't state she's polyamorous and her flirting is so good with me and with many others, I wouldn't even try to know if she's being serious or not because I don't like girls who flirt around with everyone.

However if she did state she was polyamorous then I guess I'd be flattered and would take her flirting seriously to some extent, though I wouldn't let it evolve to something more than that as polyamory isn't really my thing.

[anon1903]

Noted.

[Adam1978]

You can't be to good on a bad tactics. Indirect flirting doesn't work any most people. If you want to be successful you should be clear as a day what you want. Otherwise all your efforts will be pointless and you are just wasting time.

[anon1903]

Did you not get it? I'm bisexual polyamorous. My crush's sexuality is not disclosed to me. Homosexuality is real mind numbing taboo here.

[Adam1978]

That means you have even lower chances to get anywhere trying methods like this. Because you are trying to put the work in the hands of the other person. Something you personally don't dare doing. And you expect result from it without even knowing their sexuality. Never expect people to do things your unable to do. Assume they are even less inclined to do them.

[anon1903]

All right.

[AngelMegumin]

I mean, being smooth is a good thing, just don't forget to be the top sometimes.

[Birdlegs]

Yes I used to do a lot of indirect flirting but if nobody realizes you’re flirting then it’s useless so now I’m direct and completely straight forward with it

[Jake99999]

You are overthinking and letting one person's comment get into your head. Just stop worrying about it and be yourself.

[anon1903]

Easier said than done

[Jake99999]

Oh its very easy. Why do you give one person's remark so much power over you? So what are you going to do, completely change your personality because of it? Maybe the other person is just brain dead in understanding what flirting is. Be your own person, stop thinking about it, and live your life. Or, you can choose to obsess about it and drive yourself crazy. The choice is 100% yours. You decide how to interpret what happens around you and how to interpret what people say to you. You are in control of your feelings - not someone else.

[anon1903]

She just said I could either be more assertive or forget about my feelings. Neither is possible.

[anon1903]

I'm not exactly playing a mind game or "playing hard to get" but the said person, the crush, is friendly and popular and really serious kind of person, so she's just not getting it. Plus in india, people automatically assume you're straight.

[Jake99999]

All I can say, is be true to yourself. You be you. Do it your way. Believe in yourself. Have inner confidence. Not just for this particular question, but for everything. Be YOUR authentic self, not what someone else wants you to be. I know its not easy but its the right way. You need to make yourself strong inside and accept who you are. You can take in and consider what others say, but don't let others define you. This will serve you well in all kinds of situations in life. Good luck

[JennBITx]

Most of the time I do not even realize I am doing it myself in conversation

[Tstrbrainer]

I don't know, you never really flirted with me

[anon1903]

And why do you think is that

[Tstrbrainer]

Only those you flirted with can answer this.

And if you have flirted with me and I haven't noticed it, you are smooth