Okay here it goes
We (me, wife and some friends) went to a nude camping camp ground one summer.
There was this one guy wearing a skirt and I said to him with my wife right next to me. "Man you sure got a nice skirt there" That's all I said.
And this guy started following me around for the next two days. He even got between my wife and me while we were sitting at the bar.
I told this guy over and over again that I'm married and I have no interest in men.
Well he would not take no for an answer. He continued to stark me all though out the camp ground.
One time we has a group were playing an X rated game with other people that we meet there. This guy walks up and grabs my dick.
My wife caught him and before a can punch him. My wife was already on top of him beating his ass.
For a short farm girl, she fights like a man 10 times her size. She was so pissed that she (what we call Hulk Up) looked like she grown to the size of 10 men and just whip the tar out him.
That was the first time I seen my wife fight and learned not to piss her off. I realized she could possibly kick my ass in a fair fight
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Oh man, I have a pretty good one😝
So I was working as a bouncer at a bar, and I was standing to side of a room monitoring the dance floor, right next to a door that opened to an outdoor deck area. I’m just minding my own business when I see these two girls walking towards me/the door, and one of them is looking me dead in the eyes, like seductively. I’m still in the phase of bewilderment, like “wait…do I know her? She’s looking at ME, right?”, you know, it’s a dimly lit bar and all.
So at this moment she gets to where I am. She doesn’t say a word to me, she turns around to face her back to me, she very suddenly drops down into a squat, then slowly and deliberately stands back up, ass-first, dragging her butt up the front of my legs and crotchal region, lmfao. She turns back around and gives me the eyes and a smile, then walks out the door, saying nothing. I’m just like “ok…. that did NOT just fucking happen.”😂😂😂
Long story short, I let her take me home at the end of the night. I’m just easy, I guess🤦♂️😅😝
I do have a funny story lol this happened about a decade ago I think I was a senior in high school. I used to work at a grocery store as a cashier this guy he was a junior at that time for some weird reason he was always assigned to bag the groceries at my register lol. Well he took my sweet tea I bought and I packed it inside of one of the customers grocery bags. He kept on laugh until later I was like where's my tea. He brust out laughing and tells me , Now you are not going to get away from my invite you will accept my invite to Starbucks. I told him well you do owe me a tea. Later he laughs and confesses that he had it all plan out. I was just confused at that time. In my mind I was like okay why not just ask straight up lol He didn't had to give that customer a free tea. Mind you I never even get to open my tea. Lol
He was a friend. He asked me to give him my roomie's number.
Of course i said no
He said why you jealous i think she looks better than you?
I was like nope don't really care.
He was like well i do. She looks a lot better than you.
I said ok and turned to leave.
He stopped said okay i was tryin to make you jealous i really want your number
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After my divorce, I was on an adult dating site. I got a message from a woman on the site with a picture attached. In the picture, she was nude, except there was a rubber duckie covering her pussy, and her message said "Like my quack?"
About two years after I got married and I was living in a different town I used to get gas at a local gas station. I had a company credit card so I always went to this place. There was a blonde girl that worked there and she was pretty. I used to flirt with her a little. I think she went to one of the local colleges because she used to be doing homework sometimes. She got one of my credit card slips and found out where I worked and she called the office and asked for me. When I answered the phone she asked me if i was the guy that had the blue Jeep. I told her that it was really a Scout but that was me. Then she invited me to a party she was having with her roommates. I told her that I was married.
We had just had our second child. (Yes, for the record, my wife did all the work.) We were at a park by the ocean where we lived in northern California. I was holding the baby while our older one ran around and played. My wife was sitting, still recovering, nearby. A girl came up and asked if she could hold the baby. I made eye contact with my wife and gave her the sign we have that says "I love you." She snickered. The girl then proceeds to ask me if I was single and needed someone to help with the kids.
Not all that odd but when I transferred to another college when I was 20, I lived in a dorm for the first time. I had incoming freshman young ladies hitting on me and I didn't recognize it. There was one who I met in the dining hall and she asked if my roommate was busy that evening. I said he had a computer lab until 9PM. She said that she'd be over at 7. She showed up with bedroom eyes but I was too inexperienced to notice the signs. I think we ended up playing some card game. It wasn't until later that I realized that she had other things in mind! LOL!
And a similar thing happened to me with another gal but with her it was even more obvious. I pretended to not take the hint and didn't pursue what she had in mind. I wasn't comfortable with it for a few reasons. LOL...
So my wife was a associate at a veterinary office, and did multiple different jobs outside of her actual title. So when we first got our own place and first got a cat, she wasted no time regaling me with all sorts of stories and care/feeding tips and tricks and suggestions picked up over the course of several years working at a vet office. so she sent me out to a pet supply store to pick up some stuff for the cat, and I was talking to the cashier about the things I was buying that were a little above the average level of knowledge for pet owners, and she put her name and number in a smiley face on the receipt but folded it so that I didn’t see it until after I got out to the car. I am guessing not many men are as well informed about caring for cats like that. If it weren’t for my wife, I wouldn’t have known any of those things, but I can see how being one of the few men who has a common interest (though anything more than surface info is still beyond me) would be attractive.
I had just broken up and my female long-term friend resurfaced then. She called me, wanted to talk, hang out, hear my side of the story." Don't get strange ideas" she said "I just want to hang out and talk".
Then she invited me at her place to spend the evening "Don't get strange ideas, we just eat pizza and watch a movie".
Then she wanted to me go to bed with her "Don't get strange ideas, I just don't want to make you sleep on the couch".
I didn't get any strange idea, she was the one who did everything up to the point we got married.
- m
a guy dressed up as a (scarily convincing) homeless guy and had a "Will Work for Date" sign outside of my rehearsal one day
another guy FedEx'd me a peanut butter sandwich (with Fluffernutter!) when i said i didn't have time to have lunch with him
One time a lady said I looked like her dead husband when he was my age and then asked if it would be inappropriate to see whether we had similar junk. To which I said yes ma'am because you're a client, ask again and I'll have them switch you to a girl caretaker you old fuck. To which she laughed and didn't ask again.
I had a gay guy cat call me. Not kidding.
Of course I let him know I will not be objectified like that just like a good feminist.
Kidding, I just kept walking, but all kidding aside I was flattered and I think he has good taste in men but I don’t swing that way.A woman told me she didn't find me attractive when she first met me. And I thought "so this is how you flatter people"? So after she finished coming on to me I kind of enjoyed telling her "well I didn't use to find you attractive either, and I still don't".
I think I shared that story of being on a longboard in neon green pants. I was loudly proposed to in front of both our SO’s. I’ve had a few like that.
I had someone leave a note on my truck. I was in the grocery store and she said she saw me in the grocery store and thought I was cute and left me her first name and number.
while interning in the courts i was randomly asked by an attractive female "should i reveal more cleavage to beat my DUI case". i went to lunch scratching my head asking myself "was I seriously just asked that" 🤔
She grabbed my crotch and one swept under my feet with a broom and I had to jump
No one ever hit on me since kindergarten lol
This guys hit me with a fake baseball bat. Like a blow up one. It was hilarious!
Crotch hook
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