Is it really so bad to be a bit flirty to get free drinks?

Question

When I'm out with friends at a bar, we definitely dress to look good. And, well, we sometimes come off a bit flirty, and guys buy us drinks. We don't refuse. I don't see anything wrong with it.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

If a man says "can I buy you a drink", if you know you would never sleep with him, you are obligated to refuse the drink (or the food, or whatever). If sleeping with him is at least a reasonable possibility, then you can accept the drink. The drink implies that you are at least entertaining the possibility of being with him, and he's naturally and rightfully going to have that expectation.

If you accept a second drink from him (or food, or whatever), then you are saying that your interest in him is not just theoretical, but is more real, and you are taking it more seriously.

A third drink/item and most any guy is now going to expect SOMETHING tangible from you, and this is the social contract that you are participating in. You cannot be upset if you do so and there are expectations that come with it.

NOTHING prevents you from turning down these offers, but if you ACCEPT the offers, you are taking on obligations, and the more you accept, the more obligation you have.

Men aren't out here buying drinks for you for no reason - they're buying drinks for you for ONE reason. That's the game you are playing, and if you choose to play, then you play by the rules, just like everyone else.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Yep its bad. Do you think the guys are buying you drinks to compliment you? Because they enjoyed the bit of flirting? Or because they took your flirting to be prompted by something other than getting free drinks out of them. It's really gross to be honest. This is why I have never in my life bought a girl a drink at the bar. I'm not a chump. None of these guys are buying you a drink thinking you don't give a fuck and are just looking for a free drink. But do you think they would buy you a drink if you weren't purposefully deceiving them into believing you were more interested in them than you are? Do you... honestly not see what's wrong with that? If you don't. I don't know what to say. You've got yourself some unique ideas about "what's right" when it comes to how you treat people. Most people would say that manipulating someone for financial gain is wrong. But not everyone I guess.

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

Of course, it's wrong. Why don't you buy drinks for yourself? That might make them feel used unless they are okay with buying you free drinks without expecting you to give something in return, if you know what I mean. Thing is when you're being flirty with guys just to get free stuff most guya starts believing that you're interested in them (which in most cases is hooking up with them), so don't do something that might put them in an awkward or risky situation because not every guy can handle rejection politely.

FifiJones · Accepted Answer

I don't know, it's a question. Some people count each calorie as part of 'shaging agreement', some expect a no strings attached (st least to start with) shag as customary, some are alright to just buy a drink and chat, some want to be friends.

Are you a virgin (baptised or untouched), or have you had mutual coitus with a male before?

Pinay_ako · Answer

🤣 that’s how people in sales sometimes get the deal or some people get free pass or drinks or food. Use your flirting skills to good use! But don’t lead them on to the point they’re thinking they will end in bed with you tonight

AviatorTom · Answer

Most guys will expect some kind of payback...

chicosuave · Answer

I never buy drinks to any strangers especially girls. The only time I buy drinks to girls is if they bought me drinks before or if I sleep with them already or if we are already dating. Usually when girls ask me to buy them drinks I tell them I'm no ATM machine but if they buy a drink first then I'll buy them drinks later. Usually they run away when I tell them that. Either it's a lost case for me cuz I know I won't anything in return. They don't owe me anything nor I owe them nothing either.

Miristheiss · Answer

It shows your character is a bit poor. If you actually do it to get people to buy you stuff. But, other than that is shows your personal character is questionable there isn't anything overtly horrible about it... UNLESS, you are in a committed relationship. If you are single that is one thing but if you are engaging in sexually charged talks with men and going out to bars and talking to men while you have a man you are committed to... then you'd be scum and he should dump you and I'd question how pathetic he is if he'd even stay with such a woman.

DevikaButts95 · Answer

Well you are exploiting a dude unfairly, and he's going to think you might be interested in him. The former is a little bad (but I wouldn't care personally) and the latter means you might have to deal with him.
If you feel guilty about it then ya know, you already got your question answered.

blissinanarchy1 · Answer

Understand that actions come with consequences. Obviously you aren’t OBLIGED to come home with them, consent matters, but you’re really lining yourself up for the left hook, bc if you accept a man’s drink but refuse to fuck him, he might get pissed and react.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's only wrong if you're mooching drinks and aren't planning on entertaining the attention.

Obviously buying you a drink doesn't entitle anyone to your body, but you shouldn't be falsely holding yourself out there like the men have a chance when they actually don't.

Kaneki05 · Answer

If someone's dumb enough to pay for someone's drinks when they don't know what they will receive in return, then that's no the one accepting them buying it been bad.
One time could be a mistake but the rest is a dumb person without capability to learn.

John_Doesnt · Answer

There's nothing wrong with being a prostitute who can't pay for her own things, just don't complain when you get paid %20 less than men do. Chef and James Taylor sing a song about how every woman is basically a prostitute.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course you don't see anything wrong with it. You're the one who benefits from it. But women like you are the reason I don't buy drinks. Its supposed to signal a man's interest in you, and you accepting it is supposed to signal interest in him, but the majority of women will use this tradition (or social standard or whatever you want to call it) just to scam for free drinks.

LuukeStarkilller91 · Answer

I think that is basically false advertising.
It is like saying "Yes, I will glad help you get formula for you baby" as a way to manipulate your way into a woman's pants.
Just be honest with what you want, and maybe someone will be alright with it?

purplepoppy · Answer

As long as you remember the golden rule.  1 to 2 drinks= a hug  3-4 drinks = a blow job  5 or more =sex

ShellyB · Answer

Personally I think it is OK, you did not say "buy me a drink and I will date you" or anything, they are interpreting things and they interpreted wrong. I mean unless you did say something like that lol.

lightbulb27 · Answer

If you are leading them on, then it's lying. If you are honest that you have a boyfriend and they still buy, then it's perfectly fine.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

If they are stupid enough to fall for it, then I guess its okay. Not like you're twisting their arm. But you can't exactly get angry if someone calls you and/or your friends out on it.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Nothing is free. They expect something in return. Nobody is running a charity here. But you are lucky to get what you say are free drinks. 🧃😅👍 Enjoy them!!

TheorionMage · Answer

What you describe is 'Quid Pro Quo'... "This for That" their 'fronting' YOUR drinks is in return for being seen in YOUR companionship for a finite time.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

If It’s Free It’s For Me as some people say & I love flirty girls who try to flirt for free drinks & from time to time I turn the tables on them & say the first round is on you.

RangerBlue22 · Answer

These are one of these questions where I wish the dislike option existed given some of the stupid responses I’ve read so far. Why oh why GAG did you get rid of the dislike option?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and no. I mean if your doing it with the intention of getting free drinks I would say it is. If your just dort of having a good time with friends and guys do that anyway then no. But it's also dependent on how people class flirting. Some people think someone is flirting yet they may just be very friendly so it's a weird one I think.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

It's like stealing candy from a kid... He doesn't understand that he didn't have a chance before and he still don't after buying a drink.  But guys need to learn somehow.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Dick move, honestly. But to be fair it is just as much the guy's fault for buying you the drinks an entertaining the idea.

Luopio27 · Answer

It's not exactly free. The guys hope to get with you on a date. Money is not the way to get closer. And taking advantage of guys willing to loose, is not right either.  I would advice not to do that.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I don't even flirt with anyone and dudes buy me drinks. Straight dudes like me probably shouldn't go to gay bars with his wife anymore. 😂

Truthatanycost · Answer

The simps that pay for the drinks are foolish... the ones who exploit them are lowering themselves to the same level.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nothing wrong with that. It is even better when you do nothing and the free drinks just arrive anyway.

Keishio · Answer

I mean morally it's probably not the best but when I used to live in Sweden I'd lay on a thick as fuck Irish accent every Saint Patrick's day and pretty much drink for free too. I'm not even Irish

Levin · Answer

Do what you want, man. But I wouldn't whore myself for a £5 drink, personally.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Simps are stupid for buying you drinks. Men should only buy drinks for women they are already sleeping with.

Rangers · Answer

That's rather machiavellian of you, which is despicable. But if you so desire to live that way, don't complain when you're held into the eternal flames forever, cause nobody will be listening then

sheena30 · Answer

though not at a legal age to drink, I have been I a bar and a guy has got me a drink without asking if he could, so another question should I refuse it

Anonymous · Answer

No, not at all. I never bring money to a bar, because I let the simps buy all my drinks.  If I get horny and want to get fucked, I leave with the bad boy who never spent a dime.

serious · Answer

Whatever the motive maybe it is never so good to flirt.

ManOnFire · Answer

But I thought you were a lesbian. Why would you want to flirt with guys to get free stuff?

DamianTheSmikkelbeer · Answer

The fact that you question it yourself says more then the question itself does.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nope. Some sucker who is stupid enough to part with his money so easily needs to learn a life lesson by having his wallet emptied only to watch her leave with someone else.

slatyb · Answer

It's ok. You aren't promising anything but a bit of conversation.

gorydetails · Answer

Fine, but don't ever tell anyone you're a strong-independent woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Is it really wrong for a guy to say he loves a girl just so he can have sex wth her? Guys that do that don't see anything wrong with it.

stratford · Answer

I would see straight through you and be immediately turned off. I've never bought a random girl a drink - it's not classy.

msc545 · Answer

This is a reason why many men dislike women - buy your own fucking drinks.

Chthou95 · Answer

If you're a man buying random women drinks at a bar, you're a fucking idiot. The woman just got a free beer just so you can try and get laid. Losers

Date_a_Snob · Answer

i flirted my way to free drinks at the bar, coffee at Starbucks and out of a traffic ticket

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s socially accepted to use a guy to get free drinks. It’s only an issue when the people getting the free drinks then turn around and complain about how men are useless and they’re all about using women for their own selfish needs.

kellytheman · Answer

Yeah it's not that bad but if you do it all the time and string the guy all night long thinking you like him that might be kinda bad.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I would look into the deeper question of why you drink in the first place. (Not being snarky. Truly saying this out of love. 💜 )

Anonymous · Answer

Guys flirt to get sex. They use their brains to use other people’s body. So don’t feel bad for getting a drink or Teo, at least you’re respecting your body, unlike the guys who are doing it to disrespect women.
Keep doing your thang!

ColHathi · Answer

If you're deceiving people, I think that's bad.

KatherineJ · Answer

So you lead guys on for free drinks. I think you already know the answer to “is it bad”.

Anonymous · Answer

No it’s fine I’m sure guys enjoy the flirting so that’s why they buy the drinks

Summeroflove · Answer

Whatever floats your boat 🚤

Juxtapose · Answer

Manipulating people for your financial gain is bad.

Guardian45 · Answer

LOL! I'm sure the guys don't mind as long as you're not leading them on

Greenbins · Answer

Yes that is soooo wrong. It's false advertising.. you should be ashamed of yourselves for using people like that

digitalguy01 · Answer

Nothing bad, if you are fine and not regretting later.

CubaPirate · Answer

Nope not one bit. Especially fun if the guys don't know your sexuality

Anonymous · Answer

Not if you don't mind living with the fact that you are a whore.

Jennz6 · Answer

I get free drinks 🍺 and I don’t flirt

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Nah a bit of harmless flirting is fun

Reddy4it · Answer

Make it work for you…

Is it really so bad to be a bit flirty to get free drinks?

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Flirting for free drinks?

Is it really so bad to be a bit flirty to get free drinks?

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Flirting for free drinks?

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