How likely would you be to give out your contact info to a stranger that you find attractive?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

I remember a time this was the gold standard to gauge a woman’s interest level in you. You approach, talk and then ask for her number if the vibe was going well. If she gave some wishy washy excuse about not giving it out then she’s not interested (or is hiding the fact she’s got a boyfriend) and you respectfully bow out. Doesn’t mean a date was guaranteed to happen but it was a sign of real potential.

Now social media has screwed this all up. Guys might ask for her IG profile instead which is less threatening but it also is less direct. She can “screen” you better with IMs. Keep you as one of her orbiters. She will do this even though she might be self sabotaging herself.

Anyway I recently cut off a girl I met on a dating app after we communicated on Snapchat for 3 weeks (nothing dirty). She said she wanted to meet up but refused to give out her number (for “safety” concerns).

I was patient at first but after all that DMing for three weeks it was obvious she was content with virtual attention. Fuck virtual attention. I told her I wanted to communicate via her number and if she couldn’t do that then best of luck. I haven’t messaged her since.

[Part2603]

Uh, why didn't you just immediately accept the offer to meet up in person? Maybe I'm missing some context, but in a hypothetical where I'm texting a girlie, and I ask for her phone number, and she says no, but I still want to meet you in person, I'd just invite her to an in person date, and not worry about her phone number at all. I could just get her phone number at the end of the date.

Maybe you needed to hear her voice first, (especially after three weeks of texting), and I usually progress along that path, texting, then voice call, then coffee date, but I'd be totally okay with skipping steps. The only thing I won't do is have a fancy restaurant date with a girl right off the bat with a girl I barely know. But it's not like random girls are inviting me to dinner anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

@Part2603 she never gave me an offer to meet up in person. Said she wanted to “get to know me for a while” bs. We both know what that really means

[Part2603]

Sure. I was confused because you said in your comment "she wanted to meet up". I agree that there's a lot of girls out there that seem to enjoy wasting everybody's time, but I think with the right Alpha attitude, you can avoid some of that. By sending intriguing texts, and to a lesser extent quickly recognizing which girls are just hopelessly insecure and insincere.

[Opinion Owner]

@Part2603 funny you brought this up because I’m in this weird situation right now where I am talking to a local girl who straight up said she wanted friends with benefits she keeps changing her mind at the last second about meeting up.

What’s even more weird is I am doing a complete sexual celibacy kick right now to detox my brain. No porn, no IG, no random hook ups, no escorts, no masturbation. At midnight I will hit 12 days. It’s been very hard yet oddly really empowering. I feel much more confident around women when I do interact. Don’t care as much about what they think of me one way or another.

I told the local girl about this (left out the escort part... I want to give that up for good) and said I wanted to meet up platonically. yet she’s still hemming and hawing. Next time she texts me just to talk I’m going say “hey it was nice chatting but best of luck”. This “virtual relationship” bullshit is really pissing me off. And resentment is a major trigger for me doing that bs behavior I mentioned above. It’s a respect issue not a sex issue.

I haven’t even looked at a woman the wrong way in 12 days. Never gone this long unless I had a major distraction (getting ready for an athletic competition, traveling, etc).

[Part2603]

Abstaining from sexual stimulation is a double edged sword. Yes it can be good to sort of de simp yourself and build a confidence about yourself in terms of your hobbies and professional life, and maybe your friendships.. "I have a life, my life has purpose, I'm not desperate for pussy for validation." But it can also be a problem if you de sex yourself to the point where you're castrating yourself for no reason and disengaging from opportunities... Real women who may want some kind of connection to you.

Women are fickle and if you miss a window, you hardly ever get a second shot.

It's easy to get spiteful mecause it's just so much easier for them, but in other ways it's harder, because it's harder for them to find MEANINGFUL connection.

So yeah, I wouldn't be so bitter in your response. (Then again, it could be a good feint. Act as if you're walking away forever, and they might come running back to you.) But the way to do that I think is to suggest that you're going to fuck somebody else. You definitely want to put the air about you that you're fine with not having sex, because the next hot young thing is just around the corner anyway. You definitely don't want to suggest to her that you feel "entitled" to something from her, that you feel that she's not playing by some imaginary rule set that only guys believe it.

Engaging in sexual thoughts can be a necessary exercise, because it will remind you about the positive feelings you can develop for somebody. Girls, when they do start to become attracted to you, want you to make bold passionate moves on them, and watching a little porn to depedestalize them so you can make the right moves at the right time... that's probably the intelligent course of action.

I dunno, twelve days is a LONG time to go without texting a girl, dude.

Why don't you dm me? Let's analyze in detail.

[Opinion Owner]

@Part2603 i did look at some erotic sex art last evening because i couldn’t sleep. But i refrained from masturbation off. I got mixed feelings about it. But I am not going to count it as “breaking my fast” given I didn’t go all the way.

It’s been absolute hell trying to fall asleep recently without doing my traditional lullaby. I took a full melatonin last night and that didn’t do anything. Probably only slept 3-4 hours. .

I don’t know what to do with this other girl. I was angry that she didn’t give me a yes or no when I asked her if she would like to hit up a gym for a workout last evening (that she lives right next to). She acted excited about gong to but when I said “you want to meet up at 730pm?” she ducked the question.

She’s being wishy washy because she’s really not interested in meeting up but refrains from giving me a hard no because she doesn’t want the virtual attention to go away. She wants to me to keep engaging with her because to her a text message showing a guy is interested is good enough.

I guess i shouldn’t expect any better from a 22 year old. But i swear you can’t take a woman’s word for anything. She flat out told me two weeks ago she really wanted a friends with benefits. And most of the time she texts me first. And she usually leaving the last message when I don’t feel like texting anymore.

[Part2603]

You're focused on the negatives of your interaction... Of course when you lay out all the misses in your diatribe, it's gonna sound like you're a beta simp from a stranger's perspective. But there must have been something there for you to gave gotten as far as you did. (She confiding in you that she wants a friends with benefits. She giving your her phone number.) I dunno.

But uh, I wanted to move this convo to dm's. But I guess you don't want to de anonymize yourself?

[Opinion Owner]

@Part2603 if we ever interact on a subject like this again I’ll DM you. i am open to a different perspective even if it’s not what I want to hear.

I’ve calmed down a bit about this girl. You got to realize I’m challenging myself through a detox/mental challenge right now. And I’m doing it when I got no major distractions (travel, athletic competition training, etc). Doing it during a normal grind in life.

It’s difficult as hell but it’s worth it Next time she texts me I am just going to be calmly honest about where I stand. Her choice to walk away or put skin in the game. I’ll break my sobriety for her IF it’s her idea. But anyway.

[RingOfFire]

I have no trouble giving it to women although I would probably ask her for hers is rather than give her mine.

If I was a woman I would never give it to a man who was a stranger because that's too dangerous... Especially if it was unsolicited!

[silvermoon84]

I wouldn’t. I have also gone to my car at night and found notes on the windshield saying “hey, my name’s (insert guy’s name here). Here’s my number. Call me!”

I don’t want strangers have my contact info and I don’t want phone numbers on my car windshield saying “call me” either. Too many risks involved

[TommyMountainFigure]

I cannot imagine how frightened you must have been by that! That is some over the top stalking right there!

[silvermoon84]

@TommyMountainFigure yeah it was really creepy.

[ShellyB]

Stranger danger! I would need to know him a little or have mutual friends or something or I would worry too much he might be a murderer or rapist or something, not that I would think that I would just worry about the possibility. JMO!

[Avicenna]

Probably would if we had a good convo and she seemed interesting for some reason other than her looks.

[Princesspd]

I once traveled for work and gave my contact to a guy I met in my hotel bar. We ended up having sex all week while I stayed there.

[CrabCakes11]

There’s no such thing as sexually attractive stranger to me. I have to know someone to want to have sex with them

[TommyMountainFigure]

Zero chance. Besides, I doubt my wife would be all that enamoured with the idea!

[sheikalana]

Not likely at this point in my life as I'm married. If I was single I would still be a bit skeptical but probably share my contact.

[DishLady]

I don’t typically give my number out to Foka I don’t know.

[DishLady]

Talk to this gal: Is it too forward to give men I like my phone number? ↗

[menina]

I wouldn't do that. It's dangerous and I'm 100% sure that he wouldn't be interested in me.

[BCRanger10]

I tried it once many years ago. Didn't work.

[RebelinSteel]

Very rarely unless had met them a few times, odd exception but on the whole nope.

[RetroReviews]

If I like them enough I would give them my number

[Confusedinca2021]

Without hesitation. I have met men driving in my car, at the grocery store, at a retail store and at the gas station. I actually prefer it instead of a bar or online. I think you see that for who they truly are.

[LiZiqiLiZiqi]

It is good for me to know more people, so I am happy to share

[strangerguy888]

Can you share with me

[LiZiqiLiZiqi]

@strangerguy888 How can I share it with you?

[strangerguy888]

Type your WhatsApp number here

[strangerguy888]

I also like to know more people

[LiZiqiLiZiqi]

@strangerguy888 You can send your number. I will add you. Thanks

[strangerguy888]

Send me private message please

[kellytheman]

Yeah if I like her I give her my phone but I usually aske her but I have had woman ask for my phone number before.

[Starrrboy]

I mean, It's alright.. it's not that bad when you're a man lol.

[Pohjolan]

More unlikely unless there is some excuse for it like inviting them to a Whatsapp group.

[elaphe]

I left my number for a waitress once on my check. She never called!

[Anonymous]

What do you think everybody else did in the world before online dating?

[Pinkandgirly]

My mothernandbI wouldngo clubbing and we hit on some hot guys.

[Flatmanlewis]

When I was single, absolutely I would do this.

[ProbablyClueless]

Not at all...

[Alex-Snow]

A guy is more likely to do it than a girl

[Caroline91]

He’s a stranger!

[pass_the_celery98]

Who cares?

[Caroline91]

@pass_the_celery98 I care about just some random guy having my contact info. I have had too many things happen to be willing to chance it.

[pass_the_celery98]

I’ve seen enough movies where if the female feels creeped out she’ll kick him in the balls or pepper spray him.

[Caroline91]

@pass_the_celery98 it’s not that easy to do in real life.

[pass_the_celery98]

You know how many guys I remember getting punched in the balls in the guys change room back in high school lol

[strateguy632]

no..

[Booklover_90]

Not likely at all.