Should I just give up on women and love completely?

Question

I'm not gay at all, but I'm sick of tired of approaching women! Each time I do it is rejection after rejection, and I'm flat emotionally exhausted.

I approached a woman for the first time in 3 years yesterday, she reminded me why I gave up on women in the first place. Women always say no! It's like you all take pride in rejecting men who like you smh

I may sound bitter, I might sound like a whiner, and I might sound like a woman hater, but I don't care anymore! If no woman wants me then I don't give a s**t anymore. I'm very young (23) and I mean this when I say this. I will never approach a woman or ask her out again as long as I live on this planet.

If a woman is attracted to me, she can come to me and if it doesn't happen I am just meant to be alone. Should I just give up on women completely? I don't get anywhere with them, so why should communicate with them at all?

SteelyMcBeam · Accepted Answer

Umm, I never had a date until this year. I am 27 years old going on 28. I'm trying my best to experience some form of a relationship with a girl but it gets more and more difficult to do this as I age (because I have some very specific conditions and what not). I am pissed/depressed that I never had physical romance during my youth and wish I had a time machine so I can go back and do what I've only started doing, but the reality is that I have to make moves now or greatly increase my risk of being alone for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I can't approach women in real life anymore because most attractive women my age are not single and there really is no point in getting publicly humiliated via rejection. Furthermore, if I even do manage to get a 'yes' from a girl there's a good chance the relationship won't work out because she might not have enough things in common. I used to (and kind of still do) think that women consider/ed me a mildly attractive guy, but after learning a few things about what women find physically attractive in guys from doing research I realized I have a plain or even ugly body (slightly short and scrawny). In addition, for me to be my age and still be inexperienced makes my situation worse as this is considered a turn-off to a lot of women. So cold-approach *in the real world* is kind of pointless in my case.

Enter the advantages of online dating. Some of the nice things about online dating are: 1) all of the women state in their profile if they are single or just interested in friendship only, 2) there are no publicly humiliating rejections -only ignored messages, and 3) women write what their interests are in their profile and you can see if you have things in common from there. Online dating is actually a great idea if practiced correctly; it makes more sense than just cold approaching a random stranger and realizing she has nothing in common with you. It's also a better way to meet new people than having to travel miles and hope that someone takes interest in you (everyone has a natural fear of strangers so it's kind of foolish to try to ask women out who know nothing about you). With online dating you already know something about each other from profiles and answers to questions -you can just start chatting and see if you want to meet up.

I met my first real date via online dating. We dated for a month but then we kind of ended up friend-zoning each other (like we got to first base but then I guess we just couldn't advance because I have trouble finding her physically attractive and she isn't really that interested in me anymore I guess). It's a shame because if she was attractive she would be the perfect woman in terms of interests, intelligence, and just being able to chill out together...or so I thought. Anyway, things went sour-ish after I joined her and her friend for a trip to a park forest. Her friend really didn't like me or something and my date hasn't responded to my 3 messages since. It kind of sucks.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've always felt the same way. Every time I did approach or talk to a girl, they had no problem turning me down. For what? They turned me down for a date so we get the opportunity to see what kind of person they are. I was never even good for that. A girl never said yes to see what kind of person I am. If I ask a girl on a date I'm looked as some kind of creep; why because I want to meet somebody? Why does everybody else get to date and I'm being excluded from the norm? I decided I don't want to feel the same, so I did as you. I stopped turning my attention to women. Life is getting a little easier because I don't have to open up to anybody and get rejected as if I don't have any feelings!

PaleRose · Accepted Answer

Judging by the fact that you have pursued relationships with women, you must want one. But if you are doing it just because you think you have to, let me tell you that you don't. Be happy with who you are and what you want.

Assuming you do want one, there are women who will ask guys out, but you have a better chance of having a relationship if you seek one. You say you approached a woman for the first time in THREE years? So one rejection after you begin trying again discourages you? Yeah, I can see why you aren't having success.

It may be hard for you to hear, but it sounds like you're blaming other people for your own shortcomings. I bet you are approaching women in all the wrong ways, and so they reject you. There are a rare few women who will say yes and give a guy a chance, but even they won't say yes if you are being creepy, derogatory, disgusting, or desperate.

Please try to understand that women are just people, with their own lives to worry about. Are you asking out women who are already in relationships? Are you asking out women at bad places, where they are caught off-guard and/or too busy to say yes? Their frame of mind is critical to how successful you will be. You need to be able to sense if it's a good time.

It sounds to me like you are taking this rejection really hard. I think you should try again, with her or someone else. Unless the answer is a resounding NO, some women will play hard to get. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion, especially since I don't know the details, but you can try again if she didn't completely shut you down. Get to know the girl more and ask again, in a better way (perhaps something like "I have tickets, want to go with me?" etc.). You also could try meeting people and just having fun being single, and eventually something romantic will happen.

I used to be incel, too, until I met someone who was right for me, when I was 23 (and so was he). My boyfriend and I have now been together for 1.5 years. So don't give up hope. You may meet someone amazing.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

'Cause your approach is wrong. You're approaching women expecting to get a date. That's too fast and smells like desperation. Approach women as if you're just a laid-back cool guy trying to make a new friend with no expectations whatsoever. Then if the conversation starts to flow and she appears comfortable, tell her about this "cool event" and invite her friends.

"There's this concert this Wednesday night, I heard it's going to be f***ing awesome. You (referring to her and her friends) should check it out." If she seems interested, ask for her number so you can remind her of the event. Then you leave.

Yes, dating and relationships ain't easy, it's like another class. But if you want to get it right, you have to make the right kind of effort. If you don't want to make that effort and keep doin' what you do, then stop complaining on GAG 'cause no one can help you except yourself.

Cottoncandydreams · Accepted Answer

" I am very young" EXACTLY. Why give up when you have enough years to continue pursuing women. Stop feeling sad and keep trying. You need to go through a bunch of no's before you get a yes. Rejection hurts yes I know but too bad it's her loss on to the next one.

atlantis2019 · Answer

I know how you feel. I am older and divorced. i waited awhile until I resolved my issues with my divorce. I have been divorced for over three years. i decided to see what was out there. Keep in mind I am looking in the 30 to 50 range. I want picky. I just wanted a woman to talk too and see where things lead. When I see a woman I liked I would show interest in her accomplishments, say hello, try to find common ground to build on. Mostly what I found was scam artist, women who wanted phone cards without meeting them for a date, or they were picky. Most women were not courteous. They acted as if it was beneath them to talk to you unless they were interested. No thank yous for showing interest, no hellos, no thank you for interest but I want to look elsewhere comments. I get better responses from women working in retail than I do when I ask a woman for a date. I thing women feel in they are in the drivers seat when it comes to relationships. They work now and provide their own living. The days of needing a man are in the past. I am like a lot of guys. I want a relationship with a woman but I am not going to put up with being treated anyway to get one. I deserve better than that. The single life is a lot more enjoyable than participating in the games some women like to use your heart for. If I find a woman ok. If I don't thats ok too. I don't need a woman bad enough to invite a selfish female jerk into my life. LOL

OfAfricandescent · Answer

Bornnardmt, my suggestion to would be to focus on things that you like, hobbies, studying, exercise, etc. Try new things ,experience the world, gain confidence in yourself. When you feel comfortable try talking to a woman, just remember that there are other women out there. So if nothing happens with one you can always just fall back on the other things you have going for you in life and try again another time. It's not easy, but I believe this will help you in the long run and make you more attractive when someone does say 'yes' to you.

As for the women offering advice, I believe they have the best intentions, but at the end of the day they can't say they know what you are going through. I believe that you can do your own thing, get what you want, and become a better person in a way that works for you.

kangaru · Answer

Please don't give up. I wish I have the courage like yours to be able to approach someone you like, I missed out on a lot of opportunities. I wish I would have done something and regretted why I didn't do it,why I allowed my shyness to block my happiness...even if the answer is a no I could move on instead of guessing. recently I made alittle improvement by smiling at an attractive guy when our eyes locked, but he didn't make any approach I guess he rejected me somehow. I told myself fine at least I made an improvement by smiling since he isn't keen I shall move on.

like one of the ladies here said, you might have overlooked on someone shy or unoticible, you could have approached the wrong person.i believe things happen for a reason, please don't give up. continue fighting!

Anonymous · Answer

Don't give up! This may sound dumb but I've gotten a girl and my current Girlfriend because of my "not sexually interested approach." I basically refrained from making obvious moves and straight up flirting- which made it seem like they wanted to defeat the challenge of getting me interested. Sounds stupid but you may want to give it a shot.

I say go approach another woman and be friendly in a non-flirty way (don't focus so much on dating) and take it from there! My current Girlfriend told me that she thought it was strange that I wasn't all over her in the beginning and wanted to get me to chase her..weird but it worked out!

JustinX9 · Answer

I always secretly love girls before, honestly I don't know how to make girls attracted to me, but I'm tired trying and I really don't care if no girl likes me even if it makes me single forever. I decide to gave up on girls. FYI all the girls I like have boy friends or like someone else... If my destiny is to be single forever then so be it... I'm tired being hater, resentful, bitter towards women and I dont care about them as if they don't exist. I still appreciate woman's beauty but to fall in love, absolutely NO

Captaincrunch2215 · Answer

It’s ok to be a good guy with a good heart, but at the same time you need to draw boundaries and demand basic respect. If you put every woman on a pedestal then you lose the ability to connect with her because you view her as above you. Treat everyone with the same kindness and respect until they return it and earn the special treatment. Stop focusing on saying the right thing and passing all her “tests”. Instead focus on actually learning about who she is and wether or not y’all have similar values. Dating is hard because everyone is different and expect different things. Finding someone that fits those values is tough but worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you should give up. Just because most people want to date and have relationships, that doesn't mean that you have to. Do what makes you happiest or the least unhappy.

Anonymous · Answer

No, don't give up your asking the wrong girls out, have you ever thought about the girl that you didn't pay attetion because she was shy or she was Just unoticible , Your Just asking the wrong person.

Mike131481 · Answer

I have to say from the bottom of my heart I know what you mean. It's the most frustrating painful shit ever i have so many days where I feel like I'd rather just be asexual because fuck it honestly over the years it's caused me so much more pain than happiness (anything to do with girls i mean) however i feel like there's no choice but to keep trying because otherwise it's a self-fulfilling prophecy

Anonymous · Answer

first you say "i'm sick and tired of approaching women!" but THEN you say "I approached a woman for the first time in 3 years yesterday, " and you're only 23, that's not exactly putting yourself out there dude

Anonymous · Answer

Don't give up on women. It must be that you're just not lucky in meeting up women who are interested in you.

chrisbigman · Answer

Only you can make that decision/call. Go through all the pros and cons about dating and see where you stand at the end of it. This is really your decision and your decision alone.

Anonymous · Answer

Or maybe you're doing it wrong.

VDavis20 · Answer

You shouldn't give up on women or love

Anonymous · Answer

pisses me off that us guys are expected to do the approaching

Timmy1211 · Answer

You're not done, you are looking for attention! Get some confidence and be a man.

up_64 · Answer

I might aswell

Should I just give up on women and love completely?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should I just give up on women and love completely?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.