It Takes 2 Months for A Girl To Fall In Love

[Apope16]

That's right. Based solely upon my experience, it takes ON AVERAGE, to months for a girl to fall in love with you so long as you have been having consistent sex. (8 Weeks)

What if she is a girl that is just a fuck buddy and way out of my league? 2 Months.

What if she said she never wants a relationship? 2 Months.

What if she said she doesn't like me romantically? 2 Months.

Obviously there are important factors here for every man to consider.

First, do not be a needy obsessive idiot. Don't not act desperate and blow up her phone. Just be real cool and chill.

Second, never EVER EVER bring up being in a relationship with her. Only focus on having fun with her. Leave the drama at the door. The relationship thing must be her idea.

Third, the 2 month average only works if you have been consistently having sex. If you are simply dating a girl for 2 months without sex happening on a weekly basis...then you are more likely to get friendzoned than her fall in love with you. Let me explain why below.

The Role of Oxytocin

When a woman has sex and especially if she has an orgasm with a guy...she releases a chemical in the brain called oxytocin. It is considered the "love hormone" or the "love potion". Essentially, it is a chemical the creates pair bonding with another person.

When women have sex, they release more oxytocin than men do in the early stages of the relationship. That is why after 2 months of sex with a guy the pair bonding is complete.

They start to act strange by cuddling with you more, being perky, trying to hold your hand, getting jealous, wanting to know where you are, blowing up your phone, getting clingy, and wanting to be with you to do more relationship dating type of stuff.

What is happening is you have been having sex long enough with the girl to the point where her body has pair bonded with you and she is falling in love with you buy in denial about it.

[Shezadi]

I like how you used scientific research. That is very smart of you to prevent people challenging the point you were trying to make. This made girls explore about themselves, and how their mind and psychology works, because sometimes we don't understand why we are behaving the way we are. I guess a girl should never go for hookups since she will catch feelings and be crying the next day!

[Apope16]

Most women have no idea why they like a guy, what is it that a guy is doing that creates attraction. They dont understand the process going on in their minds. It is a fascinating and beauty thing.

But I am so humbled and thankful for your response. I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me!

[Shezadi]

awwwwwww

[Mamamialetmego]

Women are visual but not exactly like men ↗

[Oram52]

Can I ask why you left UCL for QMU?

[apollo3000]

Complete bullshit - he invented science, you fell for it, since girls always try to please and be sweet whatever the criteria. Join the conversation a little, don't accept any guy's dominantly stated point as valid.

[Anonymous]

ridiculous. Guys I have sex with for months I've never felt anything for , guys I've never had sex with i can live soon or later than 2 months. You're not a scientist , and love is not so cut and paste easy to figure out

[Apope16]

Do you honestly think I post an opinion on here thinking that it is 100% true in all cases? Wouldn't you acknowledge that my opinions are perspectives on "most cases" or "most girls"?

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely not MOST cases. You think you are generalizing but its just more damage control girls will have to deal with, cause guys will actually believe MOST girls feel this way. Enough with saying we love you after we have sex with you. What about the MANY girls that just want to fuck to fuck. We have some clingy guy thinking we are heartless because she doesn't fit in to what you keep assuming and telling people

[Apope16]

Thanks for clarifying your disagreement.

[Apope16]

To answer your question "what about girls who just want to fuck to fuck".

I have had women fall in love with me who just wanted to have sex. That is because of pair bonding that happens during sexual intimacy. It is biological. Now... if a girl is having sex with 3 guys at the same time or more than one then she can't pair bond. BUt chances are if you have having sex with a fuck buddy the chances are that after about 2 months you will more than likely start to have deeper feelings like wanting to date them.

That is because of the biological chemicals released such as oxytocin and such. I have had like 4 fuck buddies where that has happened including a long term gilfriend

[Opinion Owner]

I've had sex with people exclusively that didn't lead to me feeling love at all. Guess everyone can be different.

[Apope16]

Absolutely. I think with guys it is a bit different. When guys have sex and orgasm they tend to release strong dopamine which is the intense feeling of pleasure and lower levels of oxytocin than women. oxytocin is the bonding hormone/chemical during orgasm.

Women, develop strong attaches toward a guy after starting to have sex with them even if it is casual. That is because women release higher levels of oxytocin when they orgasm during sex and in earlier stages of a relationship.

Obviously, you are a wonderful and unique woman so maybe it wasn't true in your case.

Lastly, a huge factor is how many people you have sex with at a time. So if you have multiple sex partners the chances of pair bonding is far less.

[rjroy3]

To be fair. The premise is based not on sex, but the release of high amounts of oxytocin. If you had sex with a guy for months who in one sex session gave you 16 orgasms. That would be a veeeeery different experience than a guy who maybe gives you one this time and then you fake it here and there just to get it over with.

Those are extreme examples obviously, but you get the point. It's about the release of high amounts of oxytocin, not merely insertion of penis in vagina. Tho that is obviously part of it.

[Opinion Owner]

So if its going off of that and not sex, am I suppose to be in love with all my sex toys, vibrators, the pillow I hump on, the shower head...

[rjroy3]

In a way, yes.. Many women do as silly as that sounds. So do porn addicts who can't get it up without porn. Some women get so desensitized from masturbating with toys that they need toys to get off and the drive to get off in their mind will be linked to the sex toy. Thereby giving that sex toy a special place in their heart.

With oxytocin it's not as binary as you release it or you don't. You can release a little oxytocin or you can release a lot of oxytocin. Eating chocolate releases oxytocin. Masturbating released oxytocin. Getting into deeper and deeper levels of arousal releases more and levels of oxytocin.

So I guess it depends. Do you work yourself up so that you can have the deepest most full orgasm everytime? Or just the bare minimum to get off? Because it makes a difference

[rjroy3]

if the most powerful orgasms you've had in your life always came from maturation with a toy, you will be linked to that toy physiologically if you have used it to that extent enough times. You'll miss it if it's gone or you've gone without it for a period of time. It is a form of addiction. Which love is also in a lot of ways. An addiction.

[Opinion Owner]

I just feel I love the coming part , not the sex with someone/something. It sounds ridiculous to fall in love with a vibrator.

[rjroy3]

Yes and no. The drive for orgasm, the feeling of attachment and romantic feelings are all independent processes in the body. You can have all 3 of those things for one person or have those feelings across several people.

Likely you associate your vibrator with your drive for orgasm, meaning you just try to get off quickly. If you like to take your time, build yourself up and get yourself off better and multiple times over and over. Then likely you also have an attachment to the vibrator. To where you would be sad to throw it away, even if you don't feel romantic feelings for it.

Not saying you want to treat it to dinner lol.

[Opinion Owner]

No i rarely use an attachment. Thats extra effort I dont care to get up and get. Very lazy

[rjroy3]

Then obviously you wouldn't be that attached to it lol. You get better hits of oxytocin elsewhere (which is a good thing).

[Mamamialetmego]

Women are visual but not exactly like men ↗

[I-am-a-nobody]

Sex is not necessary for a girl to fall in love.
Also, after several sex partners a girl is probably less likely to fall in love. She is more guarded with her heart.

Sex before marriage leads to all kinds of unintended consequences.
A girl is more than just a pile of chemical reactions.

[Apope16]

I dont believe that I have ever said that sex is necessary to fall in love. What I mean that pair bonding through sex is a very important part of our evolutionary process as a species. It does not mean that it is impossible to fall in love without sex. But it is extremely important from a biological standpoint of pair bonding.

[I-am-a-nobody]

"Third, the 2 month average only works if you have been consistently having sex. If you are simply dating a girl for 2 months without sex happening on a weekly basis... then you are more likely to get friendzoned..."

I think you're generalizing from your own limited experience.
From my experience, the closest bonds don't have sex before marriage.
Studies show that marital faithfulness is greatest among those who haven't had sex before marriage.
Again, women (and men) are more than a pile of chemicals.

[Apope16]

Dude. I am not a scientist. Im not a doctor. Im just sharing my personal opinion based on experience. And yes, its generalizing. There are exceptions to everything. You have to generalize.

[I-am-a-nobody]

@Apope16
OK, just so no one else thinks it's anything more than just your opinion.

[Josephx760]

What if she doesn't have sex with you consistently enough to make this happen by her choice says it hurts to do it too frequently or makes nonsense excuses any way to make this bonding happen otherwise how can you encourage it?

[Apope16]

If there is no sex then it just takes longer for the bond to develop. But the chance id higher it ends in the friendzone if there's no sex.

[hsshannah96]

Not fricking true

How women work is they either think you’re worth a relationship or they don’t and they RARELY change their mind

They decide this right when they meet you

[Apope16]

@hsshannah96 Thats true of most people. Within seconds they will know if they want a relationship. However, I have had FWBs with i'd say about 6 different women. We were friends with benefits because none of us wanted to be in a relationship. Right around the 8 week months I notice that the women start to act different. The chemistry from the weekly sex created a deeper bond. They start to cuddle more, want to hold hands, introduce you to friends, treat you super sweet, want to have more non sexual conversations with you. Have you ever seen the movie "When Harry Met Sally?" Real life can be like that. Sex is powerful.

[hsshannah96]

yeah but usually the guy does NOT want more from the friends with benefits

Usually it’s the girl

[Apope16]

@hsshannah96 Typically yes. But that is because of the said reasons of chemicals hormones in the brain that I mentioned above. guys have a different process of oxytocin that takes longer to develop.

[hsshannah96]

Hence why girls (those in their right mind) WILL NOT take that risk.

If they catch feelings and the guy doesn’t like them back (usually)

Then they’re screwed

[VIVANT]

It takes people a few months time recognize they may be in love. With or without sex. In some cases a person may be more likely to be having sex with someone they are in love with, doesn’t mean the sex caused anything. In other cases sex can disrupt falling in love. It really depends.

I fall in love without sex. It’s important to me to separate one from the other, both fir myself and the guy, so I would wait even if I wanted sex right away but I don’t. I find it disruptive to getting to know someone. I know it’s the opposite for others and that is fine.

My point is, a person can absolutely fall in love without sex. Additionally pushing any agenda no matter what it is, in order to secure emotional attachment will back fire. Because attachment has no standard formula everyone is different AND no one likes being manipulated consciously or unconsciously.

[ShadezMcgee]

The two month timeline I would say is accurate with women to say the L word or ask the question of what your relationship is if you did it right.

Last few women I got involved with were like that, including my now girlfriend. Granted we only kissed leading up to us getting into a relationship, we didn't have sex until a month after that.

So yeah, I agree. Each woman is different when it comes to sex, though. Most dating coaches say to show romantic intent and sexually escalate to build that bond to get to that point, though.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I've experienced "Love at first sight" once in my lifetime. We both felt that way about each other and openly acknowledged it. We had some crazy bond from the moment we met. We jumped into living together for a couple of years, but we were too young and too stupid to make it work and we both made stupid mistakes. The craziest part of it is that we ran into each other recently and the fire was still there, like 1000 suns, we both acknowledged it and our mistakes, and admitted we still loved each other all the same.

2 Months might be a good generic formula, but I'd argue every person is different and true love at first sight is rare, but not extinct.

[Teyfet]

While I won't dispute this as a good rule of thumb (especially if the woman feigns disinterest), I also know that the chemistry felt between you plays a very important role. If strong chemistry is there, love can blossom at an exponentially faster rate (most especially if you give her an orgasm).

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I think for some it's easier to fall in love like a moment a week or a month but to act in it they might take years same with some guys and some won't approach yup as you said the trial runs go on for 2 or more months.. Good my take as usual informative

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Dear downvoter.

tse1.mm.bing.net/th

[sensible27]

How do you even know you got a downvoter?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Because of the down vote? 😂 Good one bruh

[sensible27]

But it doesn't notify you that someone downvoted. What do you do? Just come back on the post to check or something like that?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

When I look at a post I understand something I process it, then sometimes I come back and read it again to get the deeper meaning and also read other people comments to understand the nature of question as nd variations of answer to it accumulate the points like who favour what and get an estimation then check it with my opinion so that time I see.

Or it just I get a notification somebody liked my comment then I check it so if somebody downvote it I see it as well

[sensible27]

Wtf, read something productive by more informed people maybe, maybe that would work better. A book, I am talking about a book.

[sensible27]

Read a book...

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Thanks will do that, but life experiences also work you know even the books are written by people and there experiences. It's a good advice I will surely do any suggestions?

[sensible27]

Depends, on what?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Pschyologoy, human behaviour or something you found interesting that you liked very much

[sensible27]

I don't read psychology books or anything that has much to do with it. Maybe read books related to evolution and evolutionary psychology, they will/might give you some insight. Can't give you any recommendation I don't know.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Ok thanks for the suggestion though 👍

[sejla]

That’s chemical infatuation not love and most women have fair warning on that.

Is this some kind of warning for men who don’t want relationships?

I’m sure there are men who’ve been confused by sexual bonding too. And waiting before sex does not automatically put someone in the friend zone it might actually do the opposite.

[Bellaco]

Nahh in lust not in love... real love means knowing someone completely and seeing all their flaws and still love them. You can't get to know someone completely in two months. I have heard people say it takes 2 seconds for a man to full in love which does not make sense

[Safa01]

Falling in love and loving someone is two different things

[hsshannah96]

Men don’t fall in love until like 6 months in

That’s when they show their true colors like the yelling and cussing

[Safa01]

@hsshannah96 what fam did u grow up in jeez

[hsshannah96]

@Safa01 well how guys I have dated act has nothing to do with that

[Safa01]

@hsshannah96 but you said they start yelling and cussing and not all guys automatically start that after 6 months

[hsshannah96]

@Safa01 many do.

You never know if they’ll be that type, so it’s best to not have sex until the 6th month

[Safa01]

@hsshannah96 some do, i dont agree about the sex part and six months but agree in not moving together, getting engaged or doing naything too soon

[hsshannah96]

@Safa01 if the guy turns out later to be abusive, you’ve added him to your body count for NOTHING

[hsshannah96]

@Safa01 and you let a jerk be in you

[Safa01]

@hsshannah96 you are entitled to your opinion and your ways of course:)

[hsshannah96]

@Safa01 again, you’re taking a MASSIVE unnecessary risk

[Safa01]

@hsshannah96 fair enough:)

[Anonymous]

It takes me way longer. It usually takes me near a year or at least 6 months. Its gotten that way the older I get, as a teen I fell in love quicker. Now I need to feel a sense of safety and stability with that person and that takes time. Im pleased about that because it automatically makes so that I weed out the guys who just wants something quick. Patience is an important ingredient in love and, in my opinion, love grows. It's not sudden. You can fall for someone quickly but with time that love should grow steadier, rather than diminsh. Then you know it's real.

[LMNOP123]

Sex everyday right off the bat? No thanks. This is an exclusive club that not many people can get into.
Besides, why would anyone want a clingy, jealous, slightly controlling girl? That just sounds like a toxic relationship waiting to happen and get 10x worse. Bound to backfire and blow up in your face.

[GraveDoll]

I have to disagree

Most guys give up after two months or do i not sure because i have a tendency to just... meh

they find me scary and mean for some reason.

oh and they call me a ice princess and heartless and cold and neglectful... all work and no play i guess. and oddly enough im ok with that too.

also i only loved one guy ever in my life and i would never subject myself to that again.

what a wonderful and horrifying experience it was.

[Sentimental_Stoic]

I can feel u...

[DianaWest]

lol, I fell in love with a guy within 2 months and never had sex with him. he had a girlfriend though, which I found out AFTER 2 months. of course every fucking guy I fall for has a girlfriend, is engaged, or married with 10 kids and a dog and a million dollar home.

[AskMB]

I felt that! I felt that! Story of my life!!!

[high5]

happened to me once... while travelling i met a guy and only after a month did i check his Facebook to see "in a relationship" 🤦🏼‍♀️ and i feel like mostly guys who have girlfriends fall in love with me. boyfriend of one of my best friends broke up with her to be with me (no cheating, i never even saw him alone) but i turned him down... i feel like some of us are like destined for messy relationships and drama although we did nothing to deserve it 😭

[DianaWest]

@high5 I know, it sucks, but I hope we'll find prince charming some day. :(

[DianaWest]

@AskMB lol. here's to hoping for single men to cross our paths.

[high5]

we will 🤴🏼🧝🏾

[Anonymous]

It's definitely a good idea to keep the sex VERY regular and VERY varied in the early days of a relationship. This is HUGELY important. It should be the aim to have sex or do some kind of sex play on every date or virtually every time you see each other. If you stay overnight sleep naked and with lots of skin to skin contact and have sex again first thing in the morning. Do it in every room in her place and yours. Do it in the living room and the shower. Go down on each other regularly and maybe even do it in public.

The early days of the relationship set the tone and the expanse of your sex game together, so make it as broad and as hot as possible. And yes--this will all REALLY strengthen the pair bonding instinct you're rightly referring to.

[Confusedgirll123]

No no no... you can’t put a time limit on something like that. I know that lots of these “relationship coaches” say you can but you really can’t.
Your experience will be different to many people. It may be similar to a lot too but there’s no hard and fast rule

[hsshannah96]

I hate when guys rush me!!!

[Rebecka33]

Maybe around that time ita happened to me quite often problem is in life we only can choose one so if I love two people at once eventually I have to let one of the hook problem is I found out they dont like to much being let off and try to wheel their way back in and that's when problems can arise. As far is specific to this question yes I'd say it's around two to really get to know someone but the feelings can develop sometimes a little sooner or after.

[emmily2396]

This is stupid. I will never have sex with anyone I am not in a relationship with. So according to you I should never fall in love.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Exactly! Some of us don't have sex until we're in a relationship: apparently he didn't account for women like us. There are always exceptions.

[hsshannah96]

@Cynicaldreamer he thinks women shouldn’t be like us

[Cynicaldreamer]

@hsshannah96 He just hasn't had the pleasure of meeting women like us yet: sad really. I won't hold it against him; he's entitled to his opinions, just like we're entitled to ours!

[Anonymous]

Lol, no. Like the stuff about oxytocin is right, but the fact you think girls just fall in love with any dude that they’re having sex with for two months simply isn’t true. I’ve had friends with benefits that lasted longer than two months and I still never fell in love with them. I’ve met people that I’ve fallen in love with in just a few days without ever even having sex.

[Unit1]

And I heard, that it takes on average the first 5 minutes for a woman to decide if she wants to bed with a man or not.

I also heard, that money is the root of all evil.

I also heard, that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

I also heard, that women love poor men and find rich guys disgusting. 50 Shades of grey was sold millions of copies totally for the... unconventional and interesting alternative story in our modern times.

[sensogal]

What you're saying makes sense but definitely not a dead set, one fits all formula
A lot of girls, including myself have regular friends with benefits for years and not have any romantic feelings for the guy

[DaMack999]

It depends how often you been doing friends with benefits too. If you're starting off v. s someone that's been on the block since 15. Its big difference kinda like work. You learn in and out when you're experienced v. s rookie.

[sensogal]

It depends on the girl and their mindset. A rookie will be as unsentimental if she is in a emotionally mindset. Plus, sometimes, as rookies, they are dead set to experiment and not settle. I can tell you that with time, I became more interested in building a rapport with my partners and therefore more prone to have feelings for them

[sensogal]

@DaMack999

[rjroy3]

I always tell people that if you just want friends with benefits you have to find someone who has a specific character flaw of some kind that will snap you back to reality, when the haze of good sex comes in.

Because if you find someone who is attractive and personality wise, that you would be good with having them in a relationship. Sleeping with them enough is going to lead to you wanting more.

That's what I've noticed at least. I don't know anyone who has longstanding friends with benefits with someone who by and large they are wildly attracted to physically and personality wise. They either lie to themselves saying they don't want more when they do, or they have sex and every once in awhile have thoughts of stopping because they're getting attached and don't see a future.

Only longterm friends with benefits that don't run into that usually are when at least one person isn't attracted to the other person enough to motivate them in a more serious fashion. Or as I said some type of character flaw or life situation. Like maybe he's a good guy, attractive, great personality but he's also a coke dealer who is looking over his shoulder. Probably a good friends with benefits option but you know relationship wise that's probably such a bad idea that it'll sober you up from those thoughts later

[sp33d]

You know, to make that claim reliably, you must have had a lot of short term, let's call them, relationships, on the basis of playing mind games and having sex. In that time, if you really were into having a relationship, you could have been upfront about what you wanted and skipped all the unnecessary fluff. From this, one can only conclude that being "promiscous" is the way to a relationship. That is bs.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

It takes 15 seconds for a girl to know if she's interested from that point on, if she is interested, you won't know if she loves you for real until the honeymoon phase wears off. Which is usually anywhere from 8 months to 16 months. Anything else is basically infatuation.