Do women who fall for bad boys get what they deserve?

[Terrell456]

After all she chose him. He probably lied to her, mislead her, used her, and she fell for him.

Part of me is bothered when a woman dates a guy who mistreats her. Now I just figure that if a woman likes a bad boy over a true nice guy, then I have no sympathy for them. They get what they deserve.

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Most of the times they end up damaged and even develop borderline pd. sometimes there is something missing in these type of girls their lives, a strong father figure that keeps them away from persons like that. You see a lot of woman who grow up without a caring dad, or no dad at all, end up with abusive relationships. later on they end up alone as well, trying to find what they never experienced. as soon as they find it, they are scared and think this guy is just being nice now, but soon it will change. these woman are in downward spiral and drag you down with them... recently experienced someone like that, dating, being intimate, having a great time and then writing me out of the blue that we aren't allowed to be together, acting hot and cold at work, still glancin at me, when others dont see it. I care for this girl, and realize something is wrong. She comes from a situation with almost no men in her life, when she was 14 , she dated a 6 yo guy. she got a child from him when she was 16, now she is 24 and he is in jail for 5 years. he never loved her. Her mom isn't together with her dad anymore, you see she is form a none loving home. any normal parent would have told that guy to get lost, no one did. now she is a single mom and a lose canon, making not just her life, but that of her 7 yo daughter as well a lot harder. she is a closed book, never speaking out whats wrong, etc... even not when she is happy. i come along a great guy, sincerely interested in her and her daughter, i have a job, i really liked her a lot, i still do, we were intimate, kissing etc.. spending evenings, and for no reason, not even thinking about talking like grownups about this matter, she left me. i see her almost every day , and that hurts a lot. it makes me extremely angry as well because i feel like physically assaulting all the douchebags that cross her path. others say she needs guys like that, she doesn't. she had one and her life is fucked up, i just need to make her realize that

[ReneDS]

Most of the times they end up damaged and even develop borderline pd. sometimes there is something missing in these type of girls their lives, a strong father figure that keeps them away from persons like that. You see a lot of woman who grow up without a caring dad, or no dad at all, end up with abusive relationships. later on they end up alone as well, trying to find what they never experienced. as soon as they find it, they are scared and think this guy is just being nice now, but soon it will change. these woman are in downward spiral and drag you down with them... recently experienced someone like that, dating, being intimate, having a great time and then writing me out of the blue that we aren't allowed to be together, acting hot and cold at work, still glancin at me, when others dont see it. I care for this girl, and realize something is wrong. She comes from a situation with almost no men in her life, when she was 14 , she dated a 6 yo guy. she got a child from him when she was 16, now she is 24 and he is in jail for 5 years. he never loved her. Her mom isn't together with her dad anymore, you see she is form a none loving home. any normal parent would have told that guy to get lost, no one did. now she is a single mom and a lose canon, making not just her life, but that of her 7 yo daughter as well a lot harder. she is a closed book, never speaking out whats wrong, etc... even not when she is happy. i come along a great guy, sincerely interested in her and her daughter, i have a job, i really liked her a lot, i still do, we were intimate, kissing etc.. spending evenings, and for no reason, not even thinking about talking like grownups about this matter, she left me. i see her almost every day , and that hurts a lot. it makes me extremely angry as well because i feel like physically assaulting all the douchebags that cross her path. others say she needs guys like that, she doesnt. she had one and her life is fucked up, i just need to make her realize that

[ReneDS]

So in a way she got what she deserved, and things will get worse. she threw away her teen years, her study, her daughter is growing up in unstable enviroment, and will grow up to be exactly like her. Imagine what will happen when this low life gets out of jail, he would want to see his kid, and where ever the kid is, she is. i could and still help her, but she needs to stop acting like this. there was no reason or indication for her leaving me, she needs to realize that not every single guy that crosses her path is the right person, especially in her situation, but she shows serious signs of a borderline/ narcistic personality disorder. you can't talk or reason with them, only when they approach you. will i give up no, but i will try to keep it casual because deep inside she isn't a bad person, and she deserves someone caring, who she can lean on to, she can smile and be intimate with. i think it says more about me, then about her and other people. i understand your anger, im angry 2

[Terrell456]

Good answer.

[ReneDS]

thx, woman aren't logical in their way of thinking, the problem is, can you handle all the hurt of sticking with her, listening to how he treats her, send me a message, i can share you my experiences, went through it several times. i know how emotional draining it can be

[AnayaWilliams]

Yes and no, you can't really help who you love weather he is bad or good you are going to fall for him anyways and then end up hurt. I think a lot of girls fall for bad guys because they are probably insecure or afraid of being alone until they find there perfect match. I dated a boy who was just like that and fell flat on my face but I've healed. And then maybe they want to walk away but they probably stay with him because they are familiar with the person or the memories. Then sometimes they lose feelings for you and you try to figure out if you did something or maybe he just fell out of love with you. I also learned in my last relationship that looks can be deceiving they might have a nice face but a nice face doesn't mean a pretty heart. Everybody makes mistakes the guy you loved could turn out to be the guy that doesn't deserve you and sometimes it just happens and you have to move on with your life. I can't stand guys that mistreat women who are good to them and led them on and string them along and then break up with them out of the blue I just never understood that. No young women deserves to be mistreated she deserves to be treated with respect. Not all young men are bad they're are some good ones out there you just have to go out there and open your eyes and find them. I was kind of stupid and thought my ex was a good guy but he turned out to be a bad guy. I wish I had known earlier because the answers were right there in front of my face I just don't understand how I could have been so blind but I learned my lesson. I thought he was going to change but he didn't change in a good way he changed in a bad way, I should've walked away when I had the chance to but instead I ended up getting hurt.

[feliciaaa]

Hold on... You commented "If she's not my girlfriend, I don't care what happens to her." and you still see yourself as a nice guy? Can you honestly say there's no fault in that kind of logic?

What if I told you there is no such thing as a bad guy or nice guy? Truth is we are all humans and at some point in life we do something shitty to someone, often unintentionally. It's not all black and white. And to write someone off as a bad person because of something that very well may be the worst thing they've ever done, a mistake even, is not only ignorant but it doesn't exactly scream "nice guy"-move. You can't possibly tell me you don't have that ounce of self-perception to say that you've never hurt anyone? Unintentionally or not, we all have.

It isn't whether or not she chose the wrong guy, it's about the fact that she didn't chose you, and while that sucks there's a reason for it. You guys weren't right for eachother in some way, and when you meet your girl you will realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

For now just try to move on, stay positive and see the best in people. Because everyone have something to offer, whether it's friendship, love or wisdom from heartbreak. You learn something from everyone you meet and when you can appreciate that, everything will fall into place. :)

Good luck to you! :)

[Creole_Flavor]

Well it all depends on on what you consider a bad boy. A persona or a look it can even be vibe that a guy gives off. Here is the thing about nice guys and bad boys. Most bad boys pretend to be nice in the beginning and show their true colors once they have you where they want you. Some bad boys are really just adventurous, macho, have somewhat of a careless attitude but they still have hearts that does not necessarily mean that if you are not a nice guy you are a bad buy and will treat a woman badly. Not all nice guys are better boyfriends. The last nice guy I was with, did not cheat, he was loyal but he was psychotic. I'm skeptical about nice guys sometimes they are creepy they try to be too nice and don't tell you what they want out of respect but that does not mean you don't need to be forward. Bad boys tend to be direct. Women only deserve to be mistreated by any guy that has fooled them once and they continue to be with them. Sometimes people have to learn, sometimes they never do.

[Phantom-menace]

The problem is a lot of bad boys, are actually nice guys in the beginning to girls, and then turn nasty later on. The bad boys get a lot of women, is because they have confidence, and show women a good time. The genuine nice guys, are don't have a lot of confidence in talking to girls, and asking them out and expect women to do all the work, and wonder why they can't get women.

Do women deserve to get hurt because of it, no, a lot of the time its not their fault. Some of them low confidence that leads to allowing people to hurt you. , those men lead them into believing they are nice guys in the beginning.

[ilovchipmunk]

I think you may try to lose your resentment and learn to forgive her. She's so young so clueless about a lot of things that take for granted. When it comes a few years later, They will realise have been making a bunch of foolish decisions and comprehend the dignity of eternal flame if you still love her at that moment. For now , nothing we can do , let it go.

[Terrell456]

It's not my problem she chose a guy who mistreated her.

[ilovchipmunk]

She just had back luck to encounter a con artist that getting binded with his illusion, If you feel for her, then she means to be a victim, a poor fish, if you're mad , then she's a numb to you, if you hate her, then you think she deserve what she's being into.

[Terrell456]

If she's not my girlfriend, I don't care what happens to her.

[been_waiting]

You must think that the world is black and white.

Guys always assume that when a girl is with a guy who ends up mistreating her, she turned a sweet, compassionate guy down and chose the asshole instead because she's selfish.

That's not how it works. It isn't a movie. The guy that treats her wrongly, 9 times out of 10, appeared to be a nice guy, probably wooed her, treated her right, and ended up showing his ugly side later on. She didn't hop on the back of a motorcycle with some jerk while giving the finger to some sweet dude holding a bouquet of roses as they drive away into the night.

No one deserves to be mistreated.

[been_waiting]

Once he starts showing her his true colors, she should leave. If not, that's her prerogative. You don't deserve a girl because you're not abusive by the way

[snowangle]

So well said.

[been_waiting]

@snowangel thank youuuu

[Terrell456]

Very well said.

[been_waiting]

@asker thanks!

[theshewolf]

well as a girl who has dated, gang bangers, drug dealers, robbers, inspiring rappers... no one deserves to be hurt , but at the same time if you know how these guys are then you would stay away from them.. i remember jumping from clown to clown bad boy to bad boy.. thug to thug thinking well he's not gonna be like the last because of blah blah blah... but they turned out to be the same... so yeah if after the 2nd one you dont learn than at that point your getting hurt because you choose too.

[Negrodamus]

"well as a girl who has dated, gang bangers, drug dealers, robbers, inspiring rappers..."

wtf lol. Do you live in a prison yard or something?

[theshewolf]

no negrodamus its called being 22 and young and dumb... i no longer date those clowns... negro

[Terrell456]

I found that odd. Like where does she meet these guys?

[theshewolf]

how can one live in a prison yard... i was raised in the valley of los angeles ( like stacey dash in clueless) so the bad boy la guys would pretty much interest me more than guys in the valley...

[theshewolf]

lets put it this way... the LA guys would come to the valley parties and talk to the valley girls... duhhhh... and last time i checked you can't not just look at someone and tell whos a thug

[theshewolf]

i was young and dumb and hung around bad areas and bad people since i was from the valley which was like the suburbs of los angeles... i had no excitment in my life there in the valley there led me venturing off into bad cities to go to the parties because they played cooler music etc..

[lumos]

There's a difference between falling for a bad boy because he's bad, and falling for a bad boy who misleads you into thinking that he's actually a good guy.
If a girl knows exactly what a bad guy someone is, knows about his reputation and how he has treated other women, and still goes after him... then yeah, she's held responsible for that and shouldn't exactly expect him to treat her well.
But if a guy deceives a girl into thinking that he's a good guy, I will sympathize with the girl. So many d-bags pretend to be nice just so that they can get laid. A lot of them are incredibly good at it too. In a scenario like that, I blame the bad guy for being a lying little rat.

[want2helpout84]

Yes and no.

As soon as she finds out that he's an ass hole and a jerk, she should have the common sense to leave. It will be her decision if she stays to get abused. If there are children involved it will be even worse since she is tied to him now because of the kids and she's stuck with him for the rest of her life.

[aamy811]

No, you can't help who you love. And realizing they don't love you is awed up. Whether it's a bad boy or nice guy, sometimes thy don't love you back hurts; no matter what kind of guy does it. Also every girl thinks that I they try hard enough and love enough he'll change. But it doesn't work like that, yet we all hope.

"Every guy wants a good girl whose Bad him. And every girl wants a bad boy whose good to them"

[campylobacterjejuni]

I personally have no sympathy for anyone who considers themselves a 'true nice guy' and I genuinely hope they fail romantically and get hurt and rejected so hard that they realize how arrogant and misguided and wrong and awful as a boyfriend they are. Although most of them will probably remain self-pitying virgins forever instead.

[Terrell456]

Troll harder.

[campylobacterjejuni]

I am not at all trolling, don't undermine my opinion because you feel threatened by it.

Here's something worth pondering: Is it nice for a guy to think a girl just gets what she deserves if she gets emotionally wounded by a person she fell for but didn't treat her right? To not care that she gets hurt, and to indulge in vindictiveness? Hm, that doesn't sound at all like the way a true nice guy would feel about this situation.

Maybe it means the guy is just calling himself a true nice guy to make himself feel better and to justify his 'rejection' and wallow in self-righteous pity. Maybe there is no such thing as the eternal conflict between nice guys and bad boys, maybe those labels are restrictive, fake ideologies meant for teen flicks and not to be applied to real life circumstances. Maybe you're just an unassertive guy with no confidence who's bitter that he's alone but fails to realize that he never actually made an effort towards getting the girl while someone else did.

[why_not_anonymous]

Exactly. Besides, you don't want to be with a woman who's got such poor decision-making skills, or judgment.

[Terrell456]

True. Obviously, her taste in men is bad. I wonder what other bad decisions she makes.

[XRabbitHeartX]

What if I told you that many nice guys can also be jerks and assholes at times?
Believe me, it's not black and white. In fact, ALL the guys in my life who did asshole things were initially nice guys who didn't have a rep for being a bad boy nor had the attributes for a bad boy.
Guys should realize that anyone can be capable of doing shitty things sometimes. Nice people do bad things all the time because it's human nature to mess up sometimes.

[DivaMonae]

Both yes and no. They have to fall I. Order to get. Ack up by this I mean she has to make the mistak in order to learn for it, but at the same time I cnat be cruel and say she deserves it for following her heart... Heaps heart just steamed her wrong.

And no not all girls that fall for bad guys feet what they deserve because I fall for all kinds of guys including bad boys the only thing is I'm pretty unattached even when I do really like a guy.

[H_edwards]

I think having a thing for bad boys is a sign of immaturity. I used to have a thing for bad boys but there comes a time when you decide that you want more than what a bad boy has to offer. Some girls learn from it and move on and some girls just can't grow up. If you like a girl who chooses a bad boy over you then you probably dodged a bullet.

[shacodraco]

In your opinion what are the characteristics of a bad boy?

[Terrell456]

Selfishness, cheaters, abusers, manipulators, hedonists, and many more.

[shacodraco]

Selfishness: everyone is at least a little selfish and "bad boys" at least admit it and don't pretend not to want what they want.

Cheaters: anyone can be a cheater if given the opportunity and unless a girl knows that the guy she's dating is a known cheater or stays with him after he cheats there is no way to tell.

Abusers: that's a very general topic

Manipulators: "nice guys" manipulate girls by being overly nice and doing things to make her happy hoping that if she is happy with what he's doing she will fall for him. "Bad boys" are usually upfront with what they want from a girl so they ask her out and get a yes or no and move on. No wasted time or effort. Have you ever thought that "bad boys" get rejected too but they just move on without whining? Who sounds more manipulative here?

Hedonists: nothing wrong with being one as long as you're not hurting anyone.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes girls don't know until after they get with the guy now if they do stay with them then that's on them.

[Roseharry]

At the end all bad boys are Sexy and they have everything we Need.
I'm dating one and I'm not going to choose a nice guy over my man.

[Terrell456]

Seems like you have everything figured out.

[want2helpout84]

Is he bad to everyone else but you? That would make sense

[Cómoestás]

Down voted :3

[dwiller943]

Well sometimes it's not really her fault nor choice to fall or go for these guys.

[ShaeNielson]

"What they deserve" Oh please, you sound like a 'nice guy' who never made a move, and ended in the so called friend zone.

[Terrell456]

Lol you don't know me. I don't believe in the "friend zone" A woman rejects me, I move on.

[theshewolf]

lmao

[ShaeNielson]

Why do you sound so butt hurt then?

[Lalaaaa]

It all depends like the users down there said. If they like it.. they'll live with it and not care what anyone says about their relationship and just thinks it's "normal".

[PT1911]

She does, she knows what his true character is, yet falls for him a
anyways

[Anonymous]

U sound like one too I don't think ur very nice with girls and talk sweet to them

[Terrell456]

Yes I do. I'm nice to girls.