Guys what do you think of girls who cut themselves?

[JennaLove]

Do you treat girls who cut themselves or have scars from cutting themselves any differently? Do you find them any less attractive?

[alan82]

I'm sorry that I have to say yes: I would treat girls who cut differently. When you cut yourself, you quite literally wearing your emotional baggage on your sleeve. On first impressions, that's quite daunting and would be a severe turn-off for most guys I know.

I myself am a caregiver and perhaps too often fall for girls who don't match the Hollywoodian ideal - I find them more interesting - but the constant fear nagging on the back of my brain that if I upset her, she's liable to injure herself is a heavy burden and a large responsibility to take. Many guys would not be up for that challenge if they don't already have a large emotional connection with you.

That's not to say that it's all doom and gloom. I have a very good friend who used to cut herself frequently and failed some suicide attempts too. She's been in a stable relationship for the past 3 years with a wonderful guy and they seem very happy. But he's not the one who got her to stop cutting herself - she was. And he wasn't attracted to her because she didn't cut herself (the scars said enough) but because she had found her inner self-worth and started caring about herself.

As the girl below said: you are worthy of love. I'll repeat that, because it's important: You are worthy of love, Jenna. But you need to find the things about yourself and about life that you love and be proud about them. Invest in yourself, your family and your friends. Try to find other outlets for your pain, such as talking, writing, drawing or making music. When you love yourself, you'll find that other people will love you too. When you find yourself attractive, others will find you attractive as well. I guarantee it :).

[JennaLove]

I have never thought of it as wearing my emotional baggage on my sleave before, I guess that is really what I'm doing. And I can understand that that is to much of a burrden to expect someone to take. And I have never thought that people might be afraid to talk to me because they are afraid to upset me, that's a sad thought that I have lost out on so many opertunities because of my habit (don't worry I won't cut myself because of it =P ) Thanks you helped me realize the impression I give people.

[alan82]

I'm really sorry if I got you down or made you sad, and I certainly don't mean to scold you. You're not less of an awesome person or 'abnormal' for cutting yourself, but it's important that you realize the effect this might have on others. You seem quite mature and I do hope you find another outlet for your emotions. If there's any more advice I can give, I'd be happy to oblige :).

[JennaLove]

No you didn't make me sad the realization that other people are concerned about causing my cutting is shocking to me. I have always treated my cutting as my problem and mine alone and I never expected anyone else to be concerend about it. And for the record I have never cut myself over anything people ( with the exception of my parents) have said to me. Thank you for being honest with me about what you think, and I know your not scolding me but telling me what I need to hear.

[Palmerico]

No of course not, someone who I love very much cuts and its just a way of expressing or dealing with her pain I myself punch things which results in a lot of broken and fractured bones in my hand but it helps me deal with the pain and stress of whatever I'm going through. Every human has a way of expressing themselves and if they leave scars then it takes a true person to kiss them and love them for who they are not what they do in desperation. I don't particularly care for it but I can't say much but the way I see it its not going to get in my way of being with them or making me look down on them. I hope I helped in any way - Nick

[JennaLove]

Wow thanks that's great to know, the conversation I was in with some other guys made it sound like the worst thing in the world. And thanks for not scolding me about it.

[Palmerico]

Your very welcome and if you need anymore answers just friend me

[Anonymous]

Of course you (and anyone else who self-injures) is worthy of love. But I have to say to you (and the guy who self-injures) that it actually isn't just a normal means of expressing yourself or coping with stress. It can work in the short-term, but it can really come to destroy your life in time. (It also makes it more likely statistically that you'll eventually commit suicide.) It just isn't healthy for you. I don't say this to "scold you." Really. But I do hope it is something you address for your own sake. Most healthy partners would be very scared about this kind of behavior, and I agree with the poster who said it is less about the scars than it is the fact that you are hurting yourself. This is a treatable behavior, by the way. (I assume you'll need some help in learning how to stop, especially if you've done this for a long time.) Good luck.

[JennaLove]

Thanks I understand that it's not healthy and that I have to stop. And I know your trying to help me, the people that could care less useually start with "suck it up" or "your pathetic", so again thanks.

[WhatIsThisIDont]

Physically, no. I actually like scars. They tell stories about that persons hardships whether its a battle with a broken window or something deeply emotional that connects to their past. It helps to understand that when someone gets upset or has deep emotional negative feelings, they have a way to let it out. Most people do that by crying. Some people dont, or get tired of it so they find another way. It usually always stems around self-destruction though.

Well, I know there are some emotionally devoid people out there who won't understand, but don't sweat it. The people that love you the most won't understand particularly because they want no harm to come to you even from yourself. So don't take it personally if they come down hard on you, they are just concerned.

[JennaLove]

It's good to know that I'm not the only one who is interested in the stories behind the scars, accidentally or purposefully inflicted. And thanks for not scolding me about it.

[UnknownFox]

I used to date a girl who cut, it was the worst thing I ever did, I didn't know at the time she was a cutter, I found out from a friend and when I asked her about it, she admitted it. I was sick to my stomache, scared she would hurt herself or get herself put in the hospital. However, I see it a lot more as a weak moment to them and needs to be dealt with another way.

They may not be less attractive but the person your dating may be freaked out more about the fact you do it than the scars.

[JennaLove]

Thanks that's really helpful, and thanks for not scolding me about it.

[Stevendnsb]

Honestly it wouldn't make a difference to me as a guy if I like the girl - in the physical sense if she had scars from cutting. I think that it would break my heart however to see someone I care about with fresh cuts and it would make me wonder why firstly and what's changed? Only because when you care you want to know why and what the issue is underlying why the cutting is being done. It wouldn't put me off a woman can be beautiful with or without scars but it would make me worry nevertheless because the last thing you want is for that person to be suffering.. Hope that helps give another perspective

[Allgirlsneedlove]

All girls need love and I wouldn't let her keep doing it and I'll show her love and affection and let her know that there's a person that will always love her and show her that it's not worth hurting your beautiful body and to show her that it's not worth it.

[loveslongnails]

If they're still doing it and haven't sought help, I'd be wary of them. If it's in the past and they're dealing with it, that's ok.