How do I get a girlfriend? Need dating advice please

Question

Hello, I am a pretty good looking guy age 23 (face wise) my body isn't the best I gained and lost weight so my body isn't rock hard. I've always been self conscious about myself because of my following flaws... 1.im shy around cute girls, 2.my hands tend to sweat when I'm nervous and I feel it will be awkward to hold hands with a girl, 3.Since my body isn't necessarily hard I feel embarrassed to take my clothes off in front of a girl, and 4.ill be honest the times I've seen p*rn most guys seem to be well endowed and I am pretty much average or half an inch below and I feel embarrass about that too. On top of that nobody in my house likes to go out so neither do i... I don't have a single friend to go out with either... in my workplace I don't meet people pretty much at all so I feel like ill never meet someone. I suck at making conversation and I'm nervous around girls because I feel they might not like what they see in me or something I don't know how to begin a friendship with a girl or a relationship and I'm starting to feel like my life has very little meaning I want a girlfriend so I can feel full... because atm I feel empty inside.

SilentG · Accepted Answer

that's how many people these days are like, much of studying, awkward social behavior and gaming are factors on the rise, so no worries you're not alone.

You have got two options, either find a girl the same as you are (so many of them) or get into a long distance relationship with a not-so-shy girl as an experiment, having the title of being committed to someone even virtually would work for you at the moment, and you'll learn a lot from it about women. The key here is experience, and trying to copy others won't work, you have a character and you should be cool your own personal way. Generally what you need is not a regular relationship, you might need to build relationships first, friendships. You need to learn how to enroll in conversations, first how to throw comments in, second how to be funny, third how to drive the conversation the way you want, fourth how to avoid that awkward feeling and fifth how to make others come to you to talk, not the other way around. People will enjoy talking to you when you get the experience you need from talking to others, you learn jokes and stories from others, it's never born with you.

The first thing I should have mentioned is about your habits, you sure prefer to spend time on your own, seems like you read a lot or an online gamer probably... you usually never get bored of being lonely and there is another key. People get social cause they need to, not cause they're forced to. Kill that nasty family habit of not going out ever by making an enemy out of it, like something that was passed on to you and you want to get rid of it.

Last but not least, fall in love with yourself. Embrace your body, get a fashion magazine or a dealing with mens stuffs one (instead of that crappy IT or p*rn ones you have lol) and make the mirror your best friend, go to the nearest gym tonight and start exercising, or do stomach exercises at home 50 times a day and you'll be fine... believe me, once you put on a trendy suit, trousers or shirts and you love them then look at yourself in the mirror, you'll start changing.

One last thing I have noticed about people like you as well, instead of being religious and getting the benefit of sharing beliefs, spiritual thoughts and behavior with others, you're too busy thinking about if wether religions are right or wrong, or even worse, most nerds I know are atheists for the same reason. Stop thinking and get out, think with others and be smooth, respect others opinions, be willing to listen more than talk and have fun.

imaboy · Accepted Answer

1. shyness is not bad, learn to deal with it, overcome and appraoch them. In fact shyness is good; my boldness is easily the biggest turn-off to women. I have better luck online and phone dating. Show interest, let her know you glanced or acknowledged her, saying something or looking in her eyes, even making eye contact isn't necessary and many women will think its going too fast.

2. grow up...

3.If I had to play "skins" in footbal I would sit out. One day I went hiking with my dad. He asked why I had my shirt on I said I don't know. I took it off and never thoguht twice about it again. I don't show of my chest but also don't hide it. I've seen fat women in small clothes in fact I saw a picture of my friend who is 290lbs. in a bathins suit. I asked her to send it to me. Yeah, her body isn't appealing but her face is nice and its hot that she would be comfortable enough to do that, it shows that she trusts me. If you'd like I can tell you how to get fit but honestly if I didn't know a lot about fitness and diet this oulw be another "grow-up"

When you know a person what ends the friendship is disrespect, apathy or lack of interest not not having abs.

4. do you consider the p*rn stars average if you're only half in less you are lucky, anyways...

Go out more, take walks, be friendly with everyone no matter how they treat you. Don't atke abuse but don't reciprocate an insult instead ignore it, or ask them why depending on what's appropriate. If I feel they were being honest sometiems I'll say' "Really? What else do you think about me?" If a person thinks I'm too arrogant, I dress too nice or casually I can learn something and its always nice to hear someones perspective.

If you're friendly, give people lights, let them pass in line or do small favors people will appreciate it, they will be interested in you and it opens doors. Don't be desperate, you'll know when you can be helpful. Usually they'll ask or you can tell.

Feeling empty is the wrong reason to date. You should be happy with your life before that. Be kind to people, treat them how you want to be treated. Be yourself and don't change your voice or smile to seem happy. If someone really cares when they ask how you're doing be honest. tell them you're down, sad, not happy with something or whatever, maybe be more positive and say there's something you'd like to change.

pounce491 · Accepted Answer

Ok Mr. ! I will tell you exactly how to get a girlfriend! Step number one, watch that movie "She's Out of My League" it will help you. I first want to say that I was there at one point. Those awful middle school and early high school years when honestly I was ugly! But as I grew I got cuter and now I am an above average looking person. But I still have some "ugly person" leftovers in my personality which could make me shy at times. This is called "ugly duckling syndrome" so says some movie :) But I'm my senior year of high school, I was just like f*ck you pretty people! I'm not a super model so deal with it! U'd be lucky to have me! And I honestly believe that. Look at the talents you have and the personality you have and BE PROUD OF IT. Literally say to yourself how amazing you are! That's the hard part. If you don't believe it you will be thinking that whoever is writing this is some woo hoo life is good barf on me kind of attitude. OK now I will say how this is relevant. Exactly what a girl wants. ANY GUY that makes an appearance to her will be noticed. I have had guys try to get my attention that weren't the cutest things but I thought about it and they were on my minds for a while. I went on a date a few times with them. I was impressed by his out rightness. I liked it. He had that f*ck you if you don't like me personality. (but he was a nice guy, I'm not saying be a jack@ss. Have you noticed that even when uglyish people are funny or outgoing people like them? It helps so much. OK so not for the weight thing, simple GO TO THE GYM! problem solved. That's what I did. Any guy with a nice body goes up really high in hottness level. So if you really are good looking and have abs then you are so set. Plus it will be much easier to be confident. Just remember I was there and having this mindset helped so much! be confident!

Vee72 · Accepted Answer

Sweetheart, you need to build your confidence before you do anything. Have some confidence in yourself and quit looking at all the negative things about yourself. Nobody is perfect, and you need to work with what you got rather than mope about and think you're not worthy. If you're a good person, you'll find the right one.

In my honest opinion, I think that you shouldn't "want" or "find" a girlfriend at the moment. I don't believe you are ready for a relationship yet. I think that you should go out and have fun, you're still young, woman come and go. Step up and go out and make some friends, break the ice and bring that personality of yours out. Build some confidence because woman love confidence in their man and if you don't have it in yourself how will you even think of protecting her.

Don't "look" or desperately wish for her. Wait for her to come because it's true, when you're not looking that's when they come.

So go on and do you! Have fun and work with what you got! I'm sure you'll find her in no time!

miki94 · Accepted Answer

First in order to feel like a complete person, you do NOT need to find someone to fill that whole. YOU need to complete yourself and YOU need to make yourself feel confident.

Find some interests other then your job. Go out. Visit the library more often, go to the gym regularly. DON'T be lazy!

Before you are able to talk to a girl and impress her, you have to be able to believe the words you are saying. Hard work, self control, will and discipline is all you need.

By doing all this and getting yourself to leave the house for whatever reason, you will meet more people and maybe make friends. Don't be lazy to ask them to hang out. Don't be scared either.

Many women want a reliable, strong (mentally, sometimes physically), decisive, and a reliable man. By fitting into this trait list you will not only get women, you will also feel confident to function better in every aspect of your life.

mccollins · Accepted Answer

I have several things to say. One as far as your body no one is perfect, as long as you don't expect a girl to be perfect she won't expect you to be. Two might I recommend seeing a dermatologist for the sweating? They can prescribe pills for that sort of thing. Just start slow with making conversation, start with a girl you're not attracted to and build confidence. You can meet people anywhere, cafes, grocery stores, the mall.

and as far as down there goes...its not the size of the wave but the motion of the ocean

browolf · Answer

Like attracts like. Lets be honest, do you want to date a girl that feels like you do? cos that's what will happen. Forget dating for the time being.

You need to deal with your perceptions of your flaws and you need a plan. Information is your friend. Read questions here for one thing and you'll find girls are not as perfect as you imagine them to be.

1. Even cute girls have issues and sometimes when you weigh it all up they're not that attractive. The hottest girl I ever dated had anxiety so bad she had to take medication for it. You'd never guess looking at her.

2.. Doing stuff you never done before is always a bit awkward. that's a fact. but it always gets easier if you can make yourself endure the stress of it. Even if a girl took a dislike to you from it, you always have the value of doing it. Things frequently have a habit of going wrong before they go right. the difference is in having experience.

3. if you get to the point of taking your clothes of in front of a girl she won't be OK with how you look, it's not like clothes completely hide the impression of your underneath.

4. what you do with it, as far as your concerned, is more important than how it is. Ignorance is no excuse educate yourself and accept that the first time will be awkward.

facebook is your friend. Add everyone you know have ever met, people from work. fb is the world of acquaintance. just comment on people's status, chat on the IM, no pressure, get to know people. In person you will be more equipped to have a conversation. Also read the (famous book) how to win friends and influence people and other similar books. If you don't know how to make friends you need to teach yourself.

It'll take a long time to fix yourself and you need some faith that in the long run things will work out for you but if you follow the plan of self-educating then you will notice a difference in people and how they respond to you and then one day it won't be so hard for you. the only thing I wish is that I'd realized a lot younger that I needed to work on myself.

Lockjawx27 · Answer

I've has a lot of these problems before, and I'm working on them. I would say that its real important for you to get some guy friends first...you need wingmen. You need people to go with to the club, bar scene, etc. Having friends will open up many doors that you never knew were there, such as getting set up on dates and stuff like that

The body issues shouldn't be a problem as long as you aren't fat. The other day I saw a hot blond walking with her boyfriend, and he has a noticable pot-belly. Chicks want to know that your popular and social.

Elcristoph · Answer

Hello,

you need to lose your fear of rejection.. get out there and ask for womens numbers.. when you have them call them after a few days for a date.. then PRAY things work out and in time you can develope a relationship.. but be carefull women are not like men.. they don't think or feel the same way.. a lot of them are time wasters and gold diggers so you need to be on your guard..

Good Luck

Chris

itssimplekeepitreal · Answer

bro. chicks have body issues to. the chick you end up with should love you for who you are - not just for your penis or your body - I highly doubt it is even that bad. shyness is just your butterflies.

you need ot LOVE YOURSELF FIRST before someone else can :)

confidence is the secret.

jaycon · Answer

many guys have been in your position.. and many have broken out of that position too.  you want to know how I did it?  I pictured myself 40 years down the line alone because I was too scared to take risks.. if you don't put yourself out there now it might be too late later.  live your life bro!  get creative and experiment.. sometimes I'll do something that I KNOW will get me rejected just so I can see the reaction.. and most of the time its not so bad :D get curious! it's fun!

justalady · Answer

ehh what are the positve things? you sound kinda insecure..build ure confidence ..and show the best of you..girls will notice you and approach you ..o yeah always smile ...to show you a good person...compliment a female it will brighten up her day ..and she might compliment you back and that should brightn up ure day..and make you feel more better about your self and have more confidence..have a bless day:)

socalgamehater2006 · Answer

well, it won't be easy, nothing is ever easy, for women it may be easy attracting and getting a boyfriend since they don't have to do any work

How do I get a girlfriend? Need dating advice please

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