Why do women perceive sweet and caring men as weak?

Question

And the sweet/caring men are the one's, that end up being single most of the times 🤔

This is not to say, that these men are actually soft, weak, feminine or whatever but that they are perceived as such by women and are therefore usually put outside the boyfriend scope.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Because strong personalities don't match with those who are more so weaker or less dominant. I feel that is more appropriate. Sweet and caring guys are the real deal. The problem is most like the aggressiveness needed to defend, protect, etc, and that makes some women, even some like me turned off. In the past, men were put through harsh trails to bulk them up in mental, emotional, and physical stamina. They actually learned to become men. The guys that are often sweet and caring today from what I have seen have lacked that edge to them where they are secure and prominent leaders of their communities. And have been broken down too much and abused. Or they often run, chicken out, whatever you want to call it from forming a relationship with the women they want. While more older maturer guys seem to have learned from their past experiences.

However, some of those men are feminine like, passive, etc. It's not to say they must love violence, and things that make up a toxic man, even women, but that they have to take initiative no different than any other man. Women tend to be attracted to those on their mental level. And not just looks, personality, etc. I have met some sweet guys who are the exact opposite of the list you described. They actually know how to do the things of old, and assert themselves and energy on how they need to show to a woman:

Hey, I'm trustworthy.
Yes, I can protect you.
Yes, I can provide for you. And our children.
Of course, I would desert you.
I will walk with you.
I WILL Walk in front when I must lead you. And walk behind to push you forward.
I won't forsake you and love you continuously.
Now, will you do the same for me as I believe you can for me, and I for you?

This is just an example I have seen a good few have shown to their partners. Both married and not. Women have to feel this, and not just be shown and told. They can look 'strong', have an intimidating height, good looks, etc. BUT, if we don't connect with a person's heart or feel we're on a different level, high or low, we rather not deal with that or interfere if we are the wrong person. Often time we can see them as friends, and only friends. Nothing wrong with that. But few can see and have them as partners. These are, what I like to call, a special breed of men, while unconventional, is on the S-class tier I would say. They're neither below or above. Just 'S'pecial. And that sadly can leave them very lonely and feeling unwanted. They just need the right kind of person to handle that and love them for all of them. It's not a curse or a weakness to overcome. They just won't fit with every woman.

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

I honestly think this is presumption a lot of men seem to have. It seems the moment a woman doesn't show interest in a guy who's interested in her, it must be because she's " like's bad guys" or think " well mannered men are weak". No, that is not always the case, most women DO want men who are caring, thoughtful, and sweet but we can also detect when it crosses of the line into being a push over. Women want an even balance, they want a man to know when it's time to show your sweet side and a time to show your serious side. If you only show one or the other too often, it can be turn off to women depending on the situation.

worldscolide · Accepted Answer

Dude.. There is a massive difference between a guy that is actually a nice guy.. and a guy that says he is a nice guy.. The two are never one in the same.. Actual nice guys dont advertise it, prefer to let actions speak for words.. Guys that say they are nice guys feel like women owe them something and are 9 times out of 10 controlling and emotionally abusive betas..

blutwolfe · Accepted Answer

What? No they don't lol, usually women are attracted to me because of it. There's a difference between being sweet and caring and that being your only redeeming quality

Anonymous · Answer

Well, it depends on what sort of women you're talking about. Sluts & tramps like jerks. They're the ones that predominantly say nice guys finish last.

This is because these sluts & tramps confuse an aggressive or passive-aggressive attitude fostered far by a bully's inferiority with authority, self-confidence, etc. of a truly dominant personality. The sort of guys I mean here are the same inferior individuals that buy large trucks & drive like assholes (as a friend once said in college > the bigger the truck, the smaller the dick) to condensate.
Most of these deadbeats wouldn't last in the military where authority, confidence & dominant/commanding personalities thrive. They're not cut out for it. They are, in reality, more or less just inferior bullies who'd sob for mamma if a drill sergeant started shouting in their face.

But tramps & sluts like these sorts of assholes these "real men ROLF" because they either grew up in a shoddy household where dad was an asshole so they think that's what men are like or because of their sluttish / loose / easy as a pint of beer standards they've gotten so used to be treated poorly by assholes they think that's what men are supposed to be.

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Decent women - not sluts & tramps - on the other hand generally understanding that a nice guy is something worth having. My boyfriend as example is a nice guy. He'll go out of his way to help anyone.

Does that make him weak? Does that make him inferior? Far from it. People give him a lot of respect - far more than the inferior bullies I mentioned above could ever hope to achieve - at his workplace & throughout the community. He is in the thick of a lot of things.

He's a guy someone would be proud to marry. An inferior loser like above isn't worth more than the clothes on their back in comparison.

errorgoodnameunfound · Answer

Can't put all women in the same box. Honestly, a guy should not give a shit whether a woman is attracted to him or not. If he finds that being decent does not attract women, then he say "fuck it" and continue improving himself, whether women learn to like him more or not. If the theory is true that women like "bad boys," then why not take a thing or two from the "bad boys" playbook, but not everything? The main thing taken is not giving them much attention and being able to live without them. Being able to be without them doesn't make you either a "bad boy" or "good and sweet guy" but actually neutral which is one of the best things to be.

kaylaS91 · Answer

The only people I've ever heard saying that, in their opinion, 'sweet and caring men' are weak are other guys... so I can't really comment on why any woman might say it.

'And the sweet/caring men are the one's, that end up being single most of the times 🤔'
umm... no, not true. You won't hear from anyone but the sweet/caring men bitching about their problems so that's a very biased statement.

PurpleStorm · Answer

They don't. Strength and weakness are determined by other things. Perhaps they would seem weak if they were sweet to someone that treats them badly. But if they are sweet to those who deserve it that is always a big +. Don't mistake spinelessness with a good spirit.

Liz_thorne · Answer

We don't. The guys who consider themselves 'sweet and caring' mostly aren't, they're raging opportunists and think that they can buy sex with favors. We can spot that shit from miles away.

modelUN242 · Answer

Sweet and caring men are not necessarily weak. You have to look at other characteristics of these "friend-zoned guys". Looks, height, stoicism, physical strength, intelligence, etc. Women also don't want mean, abusive, cheating guys, but they want someone who's not a pushover.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t. I am seeing a very sweet and caring man right now and I think I judge his masculinity based on how he acts around other people. He is fairly confident with other people but very romantic and caring with me. The transition he makes is really fulfilling and masculine in my opinion. I don’t know if that makes any sense.

Cherokeehp · Answer

We don’t. Also Summer Walker does not speak for the entirety of the female gender. Also I hate that song.

Bananaman177 · Answer

It's not that they perceive you as weak because you're sweet and caring.  It's that they perceive any guy who isn't hot as weak no matter how sweet and caring he may be.

petrichor9 · Answer

WTF they don't. Maybe some do? Why do boys all think this?

Anonymous · Answer

They don't. Most stereotypes about men are made up be men.

Blueymusic · Answer

Not all do. It's not a weakness. I hope no one says that since I'm like that all the time. Well, I know I get annoying though to others, but I'm caring and sweet, once you get to know me.

Darcia · Answer

Because their ignorant not to believe anything else.

Anonymous · Answer

Possibly a desired for a "strong man" to protect them, and media often showing the winners as the strong hero not the compassionate friend

Anonymous · Answer

Girls will say they don't but you can't deny the facts if you're a man. That's why so many dudes are dicks once they get older.

Thatsamazing · Answer

Huh? Uhh... they don't, mostly. Dunno what you mean man.

Anonymous · Answer

Because women like getting treated like shit, plain and simple.

On_the_other_hand · Answer

Some women see caring men as weak.

SandandWaves · Answer

well, i don't!

Agape93 · Answer

I don’t

Anonymous · Answer

a people-pleasing behavior.

AmourHoney · Answer

We don’t

Amal-ove · Answer

We don't

Why do women perceive sweet and caring men as weak?

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